John Mayer announced that he had granuloma near his vocal chords a little over a month ago, and he recently went through surgery to treat the problem.

The crooning singer-songwriter wrote on his Tumblr account that he’s on complete vocal rest for the next month, and only resorted to surgery after the problem didn’t heal on its own. He also very sad and emo and will probably require lots of random sex to make himself feel better.

He wrote, “I never thought I’d be wishing I could do what I love again; I stay in at night, picking guitar parts off of records and dreaming of playing on the big stage. The only difference between now and when I was 18 is that now I have this beautiful, meaningful record waiting for me when I can sing it. Until then, I’m going to take off. Going to travel the country, look and listen.”

Get better soon, John! And maybe get a haircut and lose the ‘stache while you’re at it! Just sayin’, if you have the time, you might as well do something good for yourself...

Photo: Wenn

John Mayer has been diagnosed with a serious throat condition. (And, no, it’s not gonorrhea. Color me shocked.)

The singer announced via Tumblr that he has granuloma, an inflamed nodule close to his vocal chords, which renders him unable to perform at his upcoming singing obligations, like the iheartradio Music Festival and an accompaniment with Tony Bennett in L.A.

John wrote that after “several months of going week to week monitoring and hoping to correct the condition,” he’s finally decided to put the kibosh on singing until he gets better. His latest album will be released next year rather than later this year as a result.

There’s no word on his recovery time, though he calls the situation a “temporary setback,” so I’m not too worried. In fact, I have little doubts that he’ll be making his ‘O’-face on stage again in no time!

Photo: Wenn

Miley Cyrus says out with the new guy, and in with the new old guy! She has quickly moved on from Josh Bowman, who was also a costar in the upcoming flick 'So Undercover,' and she's working her slut skills on John Mayer. The two were allegedly caught smooching at the Grammys!

“At one point backstage, Miley was rubbing John’s back and, when he thought no one was looking, he leaned over and kissed her!”

Miley pulled a dude move when she "slapped his butt and told him, ‘You rock!’”

She's 18 but that doesn't mean daddy Billy Ray can sit her skinny butt down for a talk on how to stop being a tramp. She's got the rest of her life to hit all the peen she wants but she's trying to fit it all into one year. She's definitely on the fast train to Whoreville.

Oh and John Mayer, you're a frickin' cradle robber! Ewww!

John Mayer has written a fairly lengthy blog post titled "Huffington Post FULL OF SHIT (Yes!)" John is upset because The Huffington Post featured a story that claims he and Jennifer Aniston are dating again.

I didn't post the story here because it's a given that it's rubbish for the simplest of reasons: Man whores don't return to their exes, and Jennifer Aniston is single but she's not a masochist.

We've posted the final paragraphs of John's rant after the jump. He never fails to be clever. I'll give his racist, male slut ass credit where it's due: He's effortlessly talented with words, he can play the guitar like a maniac in concert, and he's hilarious.

These photos would be so hot if John Mayer's pale butt wasn't in them. It doesn't help that he's pushing out his gut and looks like he hasn't showered in a few days.

John hammed it up with Mike Sorrentino at the CMT Music Awards last night by showing off their fabulous guts. Are the Calvin Klein drawers and hint to CK that Mike wants be their next underwear model? I hope they didn't have sex together because next thing you know we'll be hearing how sex with The Situation being like sexual napalm.

I seriously want to hire The Situation to be a human buffet at my wedding. I think guys would enjoy picking up sushi off of his six pack. Alright maybe not, but the chicks would dig it!

Jessica Simpson appeared on The View this morning to pimp out her new show "The Price of Beauty" and, naturally, it didn't take long for the ladies to ask her about John Mayer's "sexual napalm" Playboy magazine comments.

Jess said: “My phone has been ringing. It’s more embarrassing because I’ll walk into a restaurant and I’ll notice that more men are looking at me and I feel like they’re undressing me. [I haven’t spoken to him.] He’ll never have his napalm again.”

I doubt John Player wants his "crack cocaine" from Jessica anymore. If that were the case, he wouldn't have dumped her in the first place. In fact, she's lucky that she has something to talk to the media about while she promotes her new show.

When Joy Behar asked her if John said "dumb things" like he said in Playboy magazine, Jessica said no and replied: “I only thought he was dumb for dumping me.”  Didn't she take a huge step back with that comment? At first Jess was like, 'He'll never get to touch this again!' Then she basically says, 'But I thought what we had was special and I didn't understand why he dumped me. Boohoo.' He dumped you because he is a WHORE, Jess! You can't turn a booty call into a hubby; but we can't blame Jennifer Aniston in the making for giving it a try.

In part of an outtake from his interview with Rolling Stone, Billy Corgan handed a verbal b*tch smack to John Mayer over his recent Playboy interview. Add another person to the hundreds who are speaking out about what a douche bag John was in his interview!

"Rather than take a year off or change his musical direction, some part of it is irritating his soul to the point where he's trying to blow it up. I think for any person who has celebrity to sort of drop rocks at somebody else's feet like that, there’s things you should really just keep your mouths shut on. There's things that should just be left alone."

I guess we can't expect any detailed sexcapade stories about Jessica Simpson out of Billy. When Jessica was on Letterman last night, she stated that what John said was definitely a compliment in a way, but she didn't want people to know that about her. She even went on to say "It's like, I'm the good girl and then that happens." Sounds like she's not that upset about what John said.

Deep down she wants everyone to know she's hot and kinky in the sack.

With a new show getting ready to debut, Jessica Simpson is doing the talk show rounds to promote 'The Price of Beauty'. During her interview on Oprah, which will air today, Jessica spoke about the recent controversial Playboy interview with her ex-boyfriend, John Mayer. Sources had recently said that she would wait until she was promoting her new show before she would respond to John's interview.

If you live under a rock and aren't sure what this interview drama is all about, John Mayer had referred to Jessica as 'sexual napalm' and sex with her is like crack cocaine. Needless to say, Jessica wasn't flattered by his comments and is finally giving her opinion on what John said about their sex romps.

"I was so disappointed in him. That's not the John I knew."

John apparently apologized to Jessica via email and she says she hasn't "written back … I don't accept it. I hope he gets his life together."

Tell 'em girl! It had to be embarrassing for Jessica to hear what John said about her in bed and she doesn't want that crap happening again. I think Jess should have her next man sign a contract stating he won't talk about their love pokes to the media or else he could end up with a total castration. 

John Mayer is a racist, homophobic, womanizing, belittling a-hole, but his fans still support him, therefore everything's okay.

Just weeks after John's controversial Playboy interview where he drops the N-word and talks about how amazing Jessica Simpson is in bed, Johnny got self-righteous on the mic again.

At his concert in NYC, Mayer, 32, said: “I hate to come off like an a–hole ever, and thank you guys for believing that I am not an a–hole. Never, ever in my entire life did I ever think that it would be a good idea to be an a–hole. But you know what? There’s plenty of a–holes who think the same thing, so I have to thank you.”

He added, “It’s a clean me now, people, clean me.”

Now is not the time for John Player to try to convince anyone of anything, especially by saying "There's plenty of a-holes who think the same thing." He can't always be clever and funny and intelligent, but he's still trying to be. The man has learned absolutely nothing. He thinks people should make burgers with his feces. He thinks his sh*t don't stink. He hates "to come off like an a-hole ever," but that happens naturally when you make racist, homophobic, sexist and crude comments.

John Mayer had a crazy interview in Playboy magazine where he's been called a racist for some of his comments but he also surprised everyone with his open discussion about sex with Jessica Simpson. According to Life & Style magazine, she's a little ticked off about John's interview and will eventually get revenge on his *ss.

As upset as she may be about John referring to hump time with her as 'sexual napalm' she also admits they had some good lovin'.

"Jessica told me she and John had amazing sex. She said they did things she had never even thought of."

Although Jessica Simpson hasn't publicly commented on John's Playboy interview, sources say she is furious.

"She feels like this came out of nowhere.She had no idea he was going to be talking about her like this. It's shocking. She's going to be doing a lot of press for her new VH1 series, The Price of Beauty. She knows she'll be questioned about John again. If someone asks her about it, she will respond. That's her revenge plan."

Hell yeah, don't get mad, get even! Even if John's penis was like sexual napalm to Jessica, she won't be meeting him between the sheets again. Like she really wants him giving more information about their sex life!