Kathy Griffin - poponthepop.com

Kathy Griffin Declares Her Love For Justin Bieber

poponthepop@gmail.com (Lil Payne) — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 12:45:00 EST

Comedian Kathy Griffin has decided to follow in the creepy footsteps of Jim Carrey by declaring herself the queen of all Beliebers in a hilarious YouTube clip.

Kathy Griffin In Love With Justin Bieber

Kathy declares her undying love and desire to "go steady" with Justin Bieber in a video shot in the same hostage-style close-up as Carrey's unsettling ode to Emma Stone. "You are all the way beautiful," Kathy tells Justin. "Even with those lesbian bangs." She also says that she'd like to make babies with the Biebs, provided she has "even one egg left." And her description of the sex...well let's just say it's much funnier and less creepy than Carrey's rant.

Watch the video for an idea of what Jim failed to do with his own attempt at comedy.

Sarah Palin Lashes Out at Kathy Griffin

onthepopmail@yahoo.com (Firecracker) — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 08:30:53 EST

Like one year after Kathy Griffin said that Bristol Palin is fat, "She's like the white Precious," Sarah Palin has issued a response. Palin was getting her attention fix by going on Fox News and saying:

“Kathy Griffin can do anything to me or say anything about me, because you know, she’s kind of this – she’s a 50-year-old adult bully is really what she is. She’s kind of a has-been comedian and she can do those things to me. I would just ask for respect of my children. As she had stated on CNN that her New Year’s resolution was to destroy my 16-year-old daughter, that takes it a little too far. Kathy, pick on me, come up to Alaska and pick on me, but leave my kids alone.”

Hmmm. Kathy Griffin is a bully but Sarah Palin is not? And how does one "respect of" something?! I have respect of our President. I don't have respect of Sarah Palin. And in case Sarah didn't know, Kathy was already in Alaska, that's where she and Levi Johnston talked sh!t about Sarah's dumb a*s. If anyone votes for this braindead attention whore when she runs for President, it's important to know that all of Sarah's press conferences and interviews will be given about every subject imaginable. Her goal is to get attention and point fingers instead of actually saying something of any value or attempting to solve a problem.

Jump in for the video. Sarah still struggles to put words in the English language together cohesively without pausing to think of what syllable should come out next.

Sarah Palin on Fox

Kathy Griffin's 'My Life On The D-List' Is Over!

muggs2611@yahoo.com (Snarky) — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 14:50:01 EST

Gay men and trannies across America are sobbing huge mascara streaks down their face today. The time has come for the final curtain call on Kathy Griffin's show “My Life on the D-List.” Kathy spoke with People magazine about her decision to end the show.

"It was a really tough decision because I think of the D-List as pretty much my baby for the last six seasons and I also think it was really time to stop doing it. Reality is great, but I really didn't set out to be a reality star. So now it's time to spread my wings and show that I'm a little different than Kate Gosselin.

"I'm not saying better, but maybe separate myself from the pack a little bit."

Just because her show is ending doesn't mean we won't see more Kathy Griffin. Bravo has enlisted her to host four comedy specials, which will air quarterly throughout the year.

Wipe away the mascara boys, everything will be okay.

Bristol Palin Responds to Kathy Griffin Fat Joke

onthepopmail@yahoo.com (Firecracker) — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 16:06:05 EST

At the VH1 Divas event in San Diego over the weekend, Kathy Griffin made a fat joke about Bristol Palin. Kathy said that Bristol was “the only contestant in the history of [DWTS] to actually gain weight… she gained like 30 pounds a week… she’s like the white Precious.” Naturally Bristol has responded. This time around Bristol didn't allow her ghostwriter, who has a vast vocabulary and makes older pop culture references, to write a response that Bristol would claim she had penned herself.

Bristol released the following statement to Fox News: “The audience’s reaction to this ‘comedian’ spoke volumes, and the decent people I know would probably have booed her, too. I hope people didn’t have to pay money to hear her negativity and criticisms.”

Bristol is stupid!!!!!!! Uh, Kathy performed FOR THE TROOPS which is code for "FREE!" No one in the VH1 Divas audience spent money to watch her show. I also watched Kathy perform in LA the other month and she told the same joke about Bristol, people laughed, no one cared, and everyone in the audience paid for tickets, except for me cause I worked the red carpet. Kathy was being real: Bristol is fat, there, I said it.

Doesn't "named after Bristol Bay" chick know that comedy show attendees pay to hear "negativity and criticisms" delivered with humor, which is all that Sarah Palin and Bristol do - b!tch, complain, whine, moan, and try to convince us that they're the last great American heroes. The only comedy the Palins provide is trying to get us to believe we can't distinguish that they have a 4th grade vocabulary when they speak and their ghostwriters use words they can't pronounce. Maybe celebrities should stop giving the Palins new comments to "refutiate."

You know Kathy is just happy that her joke got Bristol upset and she was able to call Bristol a fatty on television. She really hates the Palins. Love her! Mission accomplished.

Suze Orman and Kathy Griffin Are Dating?

onthepopmail@yahoo.com (Firecracker) — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 18:10:53 EST

You heard it here first folks, I think Suze Orman and Kathy Griffin may be in a romantic lesbian relationship. This morning one of my friends sent a text about Suze Orman's Facebook pics with Kathy G, which we've posted after the jump.

Suze is flashing a ring on her wedding finger and Kathy's left hand is hidden.

In the photos, the two women look as happy, close, and relaxed together as two women who spend their nights scissoring and finger painting - I won't explain that joke, but the perverse should have no problem figuring out what that means: Think of what happens to chicks every 28 days.

Anyway, I think Kathy and Suze are having all kinds of exciting lezzie sex and I think they look cute together. Suze posted the pics on her Facebook in an album titled "Happy Birthday Kathy G." She also captioned a photo with "HAPPY BDAY GIRLFRIEND," a declaration that forensics specialists would call "a smoking gun," according to my bullsh!tology degree. Who needs confessions or DNA samples when people incriminate themselves on Facebook everyday!

Suze's Facebook

My Life on the D-List Recap: Cloris Leachman is the Naughty Betty White

alice_mailing@yahoo.com (Shortcake) — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 07:00:30 EST

Kathy’s mother Maggie has just moved into an old folks’ home, where scandal erupted, thanks to the manor’s newsletter. It referred to Kathy’s New Year’s Eve appearance with Anderson Cooper, where she dropped f-bombs during the live broadcast. In a sarcastic tone, the newsletter said, “[Maggie] must be very proud.” Maggie wants some damage control, as she doesn’t want to be known as the mother of the daughter who desperately needs her mouth washed out with soap.

Kathy gets the idea to put on a talent show at the manor, and she promises her mother not to do any dirty stand-up. In lieu of stand-up, Maggie wants her daughter to sing a song. In accordance with her mother’s wishes, Kathy gets some vocal training from a Broadway conductor and Broadway star Kristin Chenowith. Despite the fact that Kathy did choir in high school (and even sang the old song “Shenandoah” as a solo), she’s no Kristin. Her voice is painful to hear, but the enthusiasm is there, jazz hands and all.

A few days before the show, Kathy meets up with legend Cloris Leachman, hoping she can bring another naughty lady close to Maggie’s age to be friends with. Cloris is indeed naughty, pouring shots for everyone and teaching Maggie how to make B-52s, a change of pace from Maggie’s usual boxed white wine. Kathy even feeds Cloris drinks while Cloris sits at the piano, playing her tipsy little heart out.

The time comes for Team Griffin to find talent: they find some low-level professional singers and audition talent within the home itself. The highlight of the amateur talent was the guy dressed as a magician with a cat on his shoulder, whom he claimed was psychic. “You’re very sexy,” he says to Kathy. “You used, to, uh, go to sex clubs…?” Kathy shrieks in delight, showing him her card, the six of clubs.

Show day finally comes, and Cloris is missing. Thankfully, another big name in old-timey comedy, Rip Taylor, is ready to perform for the old folks who love him so much. More acts go on, and Cloris is still missing. She finally shows up, seeming, um, a bit out of it. She gets through her song

At last, it’s Kathy’s turn to sing. She changes the words to the standard “You Made Me Love You (I Didn’t Want to Do It)” (appropriate given Kathy and Maggie’s relationship, yes?) The best one was “And I don’t give a… fruitcake!” Kathy really couldn’t sing, but it didn’t matter, because it was a sweet gesture to her mother, the woman who just wants to be the popular girl at the manor.

My Life on the D-List Recap: Sleep Drug Snacking and a New Chance

alice_mailing@yahoo.com (Shortcake) — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:09:13 EST

This week, Kathy works on several projects. She solves the mystery of her missing food, finds a new pet to replace her recently departed dog, and finally gets her home renovations finished.

Kathy Griffin first notices her candied malt balls are missing. Looking to solve the mystery, she sets up a nanny cam to find the culprit. We find out Tom, Kathy’s tour manager, has been eating Kathy’s food—Amstel Light, Kit Kat bars, a whole jar of peanut butter, among other stuff. He has conversations with Kathy and sings her songs in his druggy state, but has no recollection of any of it. But the most bizarre aspect of Tom’s behavior is his manner of dress—he wears gloves but no pants during his sleep snacking. (Side note: Kids, please don’t take Ambien. That sh*t is like a legal hallucinogenic, except it’s not the fun kind. And it makes you fat.)

Kathy, ever the helpful boss, hires a psychotherapist who specializes in anxiety issues. Tom has been previously diagnosed with trichotillomania (TTM), which is a fancy way of saying he has a hair-pulling habit. The therapist suggests that Kathy let Tom have more of his own time. To help out Tom, Kathy organizes a party—a “Flair-athon” designed for former workers of T.G.I.F. After the challenges, Tom admits to more stress under Kathy’s tutelage. Kathy postulates that Tom’s transition from server to professional tour manager has caused more severe emotional problems. (Perhaps Kathy is a better shrink than the professional?)

Sadly, we find out Kathy’s dog Chance has passed away, but the vet told her he went peacefully. She has a second dog named Pom Pom, and she looks for a new friend, both for her dog and for herself. She visits a dog trainer to help Pom Pom, as she’s become more aggressive since her buddy’s death. Several weeks later, Pom Pom’s training is going well, and Kathy looks for shelter dogs (which makes her more awesome). Eventually she gets a dog named Larry, who bears more than a passing resemblance to Chance. Both Kathy and Pom Pom bond with Larry instantly. The episode ends with a still of Chance, 1998-2010.

Kathy goes to some open houses in Palm Springs, as the home style she’s looking for should scream “Palm Springs gay going through a midlife crisis.” She’s indecisive about vintage furniture, as she thinks it’s code for “someone had sex on that couch.” But shortly the renovation is over, and Kathy LOVES it—the new home even has a working fireplace!

Next week: Kathy puts on a talent show for Maggie.

My Life on the D-List Recap: Kathy Griffin Has a Poolside Pap Smear

alice_mailing@yahoo.com (Shortcake) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 19:30:06 EST

Kathy Griffin decides she needs to do something besides tell jokes at charity events. She admits that she bombs at the shows, as they’re too “stuffy.” Instead, she wants to get a public pap smear in front of a huge crowd on live television.

When Kathy tells her mother Maggie the news, Maggie is understandably horrified, saying, “That’s disgusting.” But hey, if your daughter is spreading her legs in front of you and cajoling you into taking a look, the positive message behind the Public Spreading gets lost.

Kathy’s secondary goal is to sell out three shows at Madison Square Garden. She has a book signing in New York and makes the usual TV appearances—Good Day New York, Wendy Williams, and Joy Behar. In the end, Kathy sells out all three shows at the Garden. We saw only a couple of minutes of the show, probably because it was all Bravo could get away with airing without incurring hefty FCC fines.

Before Kathy spreads for public, she meets with some cervical cancer survivors. One woman was told that she would never have children, and she was sitting on the couch holding her third baby. While the women aren’t terribly keen on Kathy’s methods of spreading awareness (pun intended), ultimately they support her way of raising cervical cancer awareness.

Before her vaginal debut, Kathy decides to get waxed and “vajazzled” (which is about as awful as it sounds.) The day comes, and Kathy shows up in a bikini and shows off her star-shaped vajazzled rhinestones on her vagina.

Kathy’s lack of self-consciousness was incredible. She was lucky to have the doctor performing the pap smear talk to Kathy through the actions, as this has been known to make female patients more comfortable. Ultimately pap smears are a quick and relatively painless process. One woman in the audience expressed that Kathy helped her learn more about her own body, as female pelvic health had never really been discussed in her family.

Despite Kathy’s unorthodox methods in spreading cervical cancer awareness (much like last week’s Washington hobnobbing), she ultimately affected positive change, her goal from the very beginning. It’s the sort of thing only Ms. Cut a Bitch could get away with.

Next week: Ambien sleep eating!

My Life on The D-List Recap: Levi Johnston, Queens, Bears and Caramel Macchiatos

alice_mailing@yahoo.com (Shortcake) — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 18:13:01 EST

Editor's note from Firecracker: I watched last week's episode of My Life on the D-List and I couldn't stop laughing. The show is hilarious enough where you clearly don't have to watch it in order to get a laugh, so I asked Special K to recap it for you. Enjoy.

On this week’s episode, Kathy Griffin continues her fake relationship with Levi Johnston a.k.a. Mr. Palin Inseminator. She visits him in Wasilla, Alaska before her show in Anchorage.

Levi gives her the full tour as she searches for Sarah Palin, which includes a trip to the mayor’s office and a surprise visit to Sarah’s house. (She wasn’t available.) Not surprisingly, Levi trails behind, probably afraid of the invisible electric fence the Palins have set up just for him. As they leave the Palin domain, we see their calling card: “Gone Fishin’”—just the first of many Alaskan stereotypes throughout the episode.

Levi’s house looks exactly like you would imagine: It’s full of wood panels and tons of dead animals on the walls. They go ice fishing for several hours and Kathy tells Mr. Inseminator, “I’m bored. Let’s have sex.” (Perhaps this was a reenactment of the Levi/Bristol conception?) Thankfully, the audience is spared the gory details.Not only does Kathy act like Levi’s fake girlfriend, she also becomes his Life Coach.

Kathy has a book signing, which Levi attends with her. She tells him how to deal with his burgeoning gay fan base, which has increased since his Playgirl spread, and lessons in graciousness. “Say ‘thank you’ and go to the next one.’”

Levi also takes Kathy to gay bar in Anchorage, as Kathy wanted to go to a place where she would feel most comfortable. Levi seems a bit uncomfortable with his surroundings at first, but he settles in, even proclaiming“I love the gays!” While his tone was not the most enthusiastic, it’s clear Kathy’s gay-friendly influence is working on him, perhaps as he realizes how ridiculous his life has become.

This week’s subplot involved Kathy’s assistant Tiffany, as Tiffany is on the lookout for her “caramel macchiato” dream man. They do a
“Bachelorette” type contest in a manly-Alaskan-man bar. Tiffany didn’t find her dream man, but a burly hunk of Alaskan man meat did win a white rose. The episode ends with a few clips from her Anchorage show, where she makes a few tasteful jokes at the Palin family’s expense.

Next week’s preview: Kathy hangs out with her mom.

Kathy Griffin: Pap Smear To Be Filmed, Featured on 'My Life on the D-List'

onthepopmail@yahoo.com (Firecracker) — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 06:48:52 EST

Kathy Griffin will be having a pap smear test at the Palomar Hotel in Los Angeles this Friday at 12 pm and the public is invited. Kathy says that she wants to do for pap smears what Katie Couric has done for colonoscopies, which is to show the public that it's a simple, important test for women.

This will be taped for her hit reality show "My life on the D- List." Kathy has bedazzled her "va-jay-jay," so it can be as 'va-beautiful' as it 'va-can.' Kathy's goal is to educate women all across the world about keeping their bodies healthy and of course inform them about when they should be getting their check-ups.

I really respect Kathy for what she's doing, which is so important. A pap smear is a very brief procedure, and I'm sure some women don't know that, where the cervix is scraped (and some other shiz takes place) and a sample is screened for cervical cancer and some vaginal and uterine infections.

I always tell myself that I'm going to die, literally, in the doctor's office, on the table, in the stirrups. Then I walk outta the room all happy that I survived, and I'm like 'Damn, I could do this everyday!' Young women should get a pap every single year, unless you're banging the same dude or whatever, then you should go every two years if you choose to space it out like that.