Katy Perry is the latest cover girl for Harpers Bazaar and looks nothing less than fierce in the magazine spread. In the issue Katy talks about Russell Brand being a 'man of god', wanting a breast reduction, and competing with other pop stars such as Rihanna and Lady Gaga.

Katy on coming up with her own personal look: "I have multipersonality disorder—in a very good way, of course—when it comes to my fashion choices. When I first started playing around with my look, it was more of a Dita Von Teese pinup thing." But the burlesque look is too high maintenance. "Dita's really dedicated."

On finding the love of her life, Russell Brand: "I always knew I wanted a great man of God, someone who was going to be an inspiration for people and also be a lovely husband and father. We're at different places in our lives, but we can still grow together. He's thought-provoking, articulate, a real advocate. I also definitely wanted to have a laugh. I have all that in him."

Why she wanted her breasts reduced at age 13: "I'll tell you about my boobs and fashion. It can be hard to wear those looks because they're best on people who have no curves or thighs. I don't have a Kate Moss body, but I'm very proud and happy with mine. I had really bad back problems and was a little bit thicker. Then I grew up and lost the baby fat and said, 'Hey, this isn't all that bad.'"

These two have been annoyingly happy for a while now, so it's good to see them taken down a peg. I kid. Apparently, the marriage is not off to a good start for one of the few non-obnoxious celebrity couples.

Katy Perry and Russell Brand began their honeymoon in the Maldives over the weekend and from the sound of it, a pissed-off spider was the only one getting between Katy's legs. According to Radar Online, "Brand and Perry had refrained from having sex for a month prior to their wedding in India last week. After a spider bit Perry shortly after the pair arrived in the Maldives, the I Kisses a Girl singer developed a nasty rash on her legs that led to her taking a medication that left her tired, drowsy and unable to consummate the marriage."

Russell Brand is probably no stranger to rashes and medications, but not getting laid? That's definitely new to him. Get used to it, buddy, you're married now! If it's not "I have a headache," it's "Some spider bit me on some weird island no one ever heard of." There's always an excuse!

This comes as a shock to absolutely no one. A tabloid named Now, which tends to run stories that aren't true, claims that Katy Perry boasted about her sex game. Whether Katy gave the following quotes or not is irrelevant. She got former sex addict Russell Brand to propose within months and he wifed her up after only one year of dating. Is Ms. Perry good in bed? Duh!

Katy tells Now: "Like Ludacris rapped, 'I'm a lady in the street and a freak in the bed. I can't rate myself, but if you ask Russell I'm sure he'd give me a ten out of ten."

Katy also knocks on wood by saying that Russell won't cheat on her. "He's made no secret of what his life was like before me, but that's then and this is the future. He's cheated in the past but he knows how good he has it with me and I know he'd never do anything to jeopardize that. I trust him 100 percent."

Katy's parents are pastors, which means she wasn't supposed to bone until marriage. Katy wasn't even allowed to watch The Smurfs, but how do you think she became sexual napalm? It wasn't from waiting. Russell wouldn't have married Katy if he didn't get a sample first. According to the bible, you're supposed to wait until you get married to have sex, but back then people were getting married at 13 years old! It pains my heart whenever I hear of someone who is like 30+ years old and is still clinging onto their virginity like its some sacred, magical mystical stone. No one knows whether or not they'll get married, or when that will happen, so I say go out and have safe sex while you still can.

Katy's a cool chick and, based upon her outfits alone, you know she likes to change it up in bed. I am so rooting for this couple. Good luck, y'all.

Katy Perry and Russell Brand swapped "I Do's" on Saturday night in India. Their ceremony was "very private and spiritual." A Christian minister and longtime friend of Katy's family officiated it all.

Two elephants were seen arriving at the resort. As the animals walked into the venue, a red carpet was rolled out for them. In a traditional Indian wedding procession, known as the "bharat," the bridegroom is often on a white horse, but an elephant is considered even grander.

Indian instruments were played for guests and white and gold lights were lit on the trees lining the path into the venue. The celebration began on Friday with a Bollywood-themed party which included acrobats and jugglers.

Congrats y'all! I am really rooting for this couple. Make it work sluts!

See? This is how rich people should get married! Katy Perry and Russell Brand are in India with their closest family and friends ready to kick off a six day wedding celebration that starts tomorrow and continues throughout most of the week. Apparently, the couple is having a traditional Hindu ceremony, part of which is the crazy long celebration that begins immediately after the exchange of vows.

Russell and Katy are said to be taking this Hindu business seriously, with Katy rockin' a gold nose ring (the tradition for Indian brides) and Russell sportin' some Henna tattoo artwork intended for soon-to-be grooms. Umm...we've seen how these two dress. A nose ring and temporary tattoo are actually pretty tame by their standards. I'm not impressed.

Unfortunately, Russell has been clean and sober for years, and police in the town where the couple is staying say they are "bound by strict Indian laws" to ensure that the celebrations never goes past 10 p.m. What a lame-@ss six day party!

Because you can't be famous without having your own scent these days, Katy Perry is launching a fragrance called Purr and the ad features Katy dressed in an outfit that might make you think of that chick from accounting who shows up to your office Halloween party trying way, way too hard to be fun and sexy, and just ends up getting drunk and going home with the creepy guy from the mail room.

A cat-themed fragrance? Hmmm. I don't know about you, but when I walk into the house of someone who owns a lot of cats, I immediately think, "Man, I wish there was some way I could smell like this." Plus, nothing drives me crazy like when I get close to a girl and catch that unmistakable odor of a litter box that badly needs changing. Meow! Sorry, but cats and sexy smells just don't go together for me.

Don't get me wrong, I would basically pull my fingernails out with a pair of rusty pliers for the chance to drink Katy Perry's bathwater, but part of what's so hot about her is she usually doesn't seem to give a f*ck. In this ad, she seems like she's trying way too hard and it just doesn't do it for me.

Sorry, KP, but you lost me with this one. It might be hard to get back on my good side. Releasing that sex tape you've been talking about could be a good place to start. Just sayin'.

Russell Brand joked about releasing a sextape with his sexy fiance Katy Perry. Russell is on tour promoting his new autobiographical book titled Booky Wook 2.

"We'll do a sex tape! Give them what they want!" Brand joked when asked if he and his pop-star fiancée might ever work on a movie together.

Katy Perry's future husband also knows that mixing business with pleasure isn't a good idea. He adds: "It takes up enough of my time to be in love with her. Negotiating in films is very, very hard. Imagine trying to direct someone you really love – it would be a [expletive] nightmare."

Russell is romantical when he speaks about Ms. Perry. "I've found someone who is singularly important to me, so it means compromise, growing up and all the things they tell you in school. Love between two people is the most spectacular yet ordinary thing in the world."

I think I'd delete my entire porn collection if I could watch a Katy and Russell sex tape. Russell's a former sex addict, which means he's experienced, which means he knows how to please. He just has to stand across the room and wink at a b!tch and that could be enough to make her climax. And then there's the British accent, which always helps. "We'll do a sex tape!" You know these sluts have already made a few dozen.

Katy Perry is incapable of not showing off her boobs, even when she's hanging out with Elmo.

Katy went on Sesame Street yesterday to sing a cleaned-up version of "Hot N' Cold" (So the "You PMS like a b*tch" line had to go? How are kids gonna learn about menstruation?), and as usual her massive jugs were on full display.

Seems like Katy's slutty bride get-up made Elmo a little nervous. I don't blame him. We all learned over the weekend that you shouldn't f*ck with Russell Brand's lady. The last thing the world needs is a giant, goth Brit curb-stomping a Muppet. That sh*t would start World War III.

Russell Brand was arrested for misdemeanor battery yesterday at LAX. According to Katy Perry and Russell, a photographer was trying to get a Katy upskirt picture when Russell attacked him.

Russell and Katy before Russell's attack.

Brand and Perry were going through Delta security when he allegedly attacked photogs. Brand and his lawyer raised the issue at LAPD's Pacific Division, where Brand was booked.

Katy herself tweeted, "If you cross the line & try an put a lens up my dress, my fiancé will do his job & protect me."

TMZ reports that a jury should be sympathetic to a celebrity under those circumstances.

Russell is famous (like Paris Hilton) and in the right - he'll be fine. Now let's talk about Katy's tweet. It makes me nauseous actually, 'If you cross the line, my scrawny man is going to "do his job" and "protect me."' B*tch, STFU! #Thanks.

Looks like the California gurl might be trading in her daisy dukes and bikini tops for tea and crumpets.

Katy Perry is trying to legally become a Brit so she can spend more time in her "second home" with fiancee Russell Brand.

"When I get married next month, one of the first things I'll do is apply for dual citizenship," Katy told London's The Sun. "I'm not too sure if I have to take a test, as I've not had time to look into it. But England is like my second home."

This is actually a smart move on Katy's part. My girlfriend's Australian, so I know firsthand what a pain in the a*s visas and citizenship issues can be. Even when you're rich, famous and married to someone from the other country, dual citizenship is a tough sell. With his history of legal troubles, it's unlikely that Russell would ever be able to become a US citizen, so unless she wants to do the long-distance thing for their entire marriage, Katy better get used to sh*tty weather and learn all the words to "God Save the Queen."