Earlier today it was reported that Kelly Bensimon, Alex McCord and Jill Zarin had been fired from The Real Housewives franchise. A gossip insider tweeted the shocker, saying that Bravo execs had told him the news, and then the story went viral.

Jill and Alex are usually tweeting fools on Twitter, but both women were noticeably quiet today.

Attention whore Jill Zarin at Fall New York Fashion Week 2011

Jill's rep says "Jill has not been fired from The Real Housewives of New York City. The truth is that Jill is still in discussions with Bravo for season 5 and hasn't made a final decision about returning to the show."

Alex Tweeted: "Speaking for myself only, there is no decision yet whether I'm in or out of #RHONY -Nothing's finalized, though I'd like to do another year."

SAD! TRAGIC! This news is almost as bad as wearing "Eddie Munster shoes" or shopping at Walmart.

These dumb whores are clinging to their D-list status like Sarah Palin on a black guy. I feel really sorry for 'em. It's gotta suck when everyone's kissing your a*s and asking for your autograph one minute, the next everyone is telling you ya gotta wait in line just like everyone else. Attention whore Jill will take this especially hard. Kelly will be just fine, cause the voices in her head will tell her she's just on an extended break and Bravo will have plenty of gummy bears back at the set when she returns.

Photo: Wenn

There's some serious shiz going down with the Real Housewives of New York City' According to the Huffington Post, sources inside Bravo revealed they let Jill Zarin, Alex McCord and Kelly Bensimon go from the show and will not be returning as full-time cast members next season. All three ladies were told the bad news this morning.

With LuAnn de Lesseps, Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan left, the show must go on.... Except it's going to get more interesting because LuAnn revealed yesterday on New York Live that three new women will be added to the cast.

Even though Jill, Alex and Kelly Bensimon have not been asked to return full time next season, they were told they could possibly be reinstated if any of the new hoes don't work out.

I think Bravo is screwing up on this one. It would be much more interesting if they kept those three and went ahead and added three more women to the cast. Then again, Bravo's pretty cheap so they're not going to spend more than they have to.

Photos: WENN

On last night's episode of Real Housewives of New York City, Alex McCord's obnoxious husband, Simon van Kempen, generated a storm of controversy by allegedly cyber-bullying his wife's friends and cast mates. So were the ladies making a big deal out of nothing, or were Simon's "mean Tweets" really that bad?

A quick scroll through Simon's Twitter feed shows that dude likes to Tweet. A lot. And most of his Tweets are on the topic of how awesome he and his wife are and what fugly b!tches the rest of the Real Housewives are. For example,"It's ironic that the strongest & most secure woman on #RHoNY didn't need to take her spouse's last name." So, not only is Simon weirdly obsessed with what his wife's friends are doing and saying, he also doesn't know what "ironic" means.

But while the tone of Simon's Twitter is weird and needlessly dickish, he never reaches the point of full-on cyber-bullying. In fact, most of his posts are devoted to defending himself against accusations of cyber-bullying. A Tweet from last night reads, "They say there's no such thing as a victimless crime but Jill Zarin & Kelly Bensimon are doing their best at being crimeless victims."

So is Simon really a douche, or are the ladies just making a mountain out of a mole hill? Both, but at least it makes for good TV.

(Photo: WENN)

Finally! After the longest desert vacation since Lawrence of Arabia, the Real Housewives of New York City are back in the Big Apple and they waste no time hitting the bed and the bottle. On the night of their return, Alex gets the honeymoon-period treatment from her annoying British (Australian? Who cares?) husband Simon. But even with all the doting and pampering, you can tell dude is just in it for the saggy middle-aged sex and, at the end of the day, is just not that into her. Ramona Singer also spends her night with her one true love: booze! She downs about 8 glasses of pinot grigio waiting for a romantic rendezvous with her husband, who finally shows up hours later. At this point, I don't think we need a Moroccan psychic to know dude's totally screwing around on her.

After way more awkward post-menopausal partial nudity than anyone wanted to see, we catch up with the non-married Housewives, and since half the friggin' cast is made up of single ladies, I'm beginning to think this show could use a more accurate title. Real Rich B!tches of NYC, perhaps? Anyway, Cindy discovers that Sonja Morgan pulled a passive-aggressive dick move worthy of The Situation by cutting her out of most of the vacation photos. By the way, did Cindy say they were only in Morocco for a week? Three episodes for one week?! Christ, I hope they never take a roadtrip. There'll be a full episode devoted to them trying to get off the thruway.

When she's not finding subtle ways to stick it her "friends," Sonja is apparently busy maintaining a state of deep denial. She gripes about her bankruptcy woes with a smile on her face and a $10,000 jacket on her shoulders while lying down for an aromatherapy session that probably cost more than your Honda. Nice to see she's got her priorities straight. LuAnn on the other hand, knows what's important in life - gettin' it in with a much-younger rich foreign dude! Hey, at least she knows how to plan for retirement.

"I have a couple laywers' bills. Nothing big!" Sonja says of her $19 million dollar bankruptcy claim. Fortunately, she's got friends to make her feel like total sh!t about the situation. As the cartoonish Jewish grandmother of the group, Jill Zarin lays her, "Oi, what were you thiiiiiinking?" routine on Sonja, who shrugs her off admirably. Valium's a hell of a drug. But after a quick guilt trip session, the ladies move on to more important issues like peddling Jill's new line of fat lady underwear. Apparently, liposuction is so 2010.

Last week's episode of The Real Housewives of New York City ended with an epic face-off between Jill Zarin and Ramona Singer. The ladies threw down over years-old issues in an attempt to repair their broken friendship, and instead just made things way worse. The last we saw of Ramona she was laying on a bed in her lavish Moroccan suite, sobbing hysterically. In case you forgot, or just wanna re-live the awesomeness, it looked something like this:

I figured that was the last we'd see of Ramona, since drunks left lying on their backs often choke on their own vomit, but she was back to her old self on last night's episode, as the house-hoes finished off their Moroccan vacation in style. First stop: some restaurant where you can watch women dance for your money while you eat. You don't have to go to Morocco for that, ladies. The strip club on my street has 25 cent wings every Tuesday. After that, it was more sightseeing, and Jill decided to take her anger out on awesome tour guide Mustapha, by asking him a million goddam questions and reminding him why he's glad he doesn't live in a country overrun with uptight, over-privileged ball-breaking power b!tches. 

Meanwhile, back at Rich Chick Headquarters (Moroccan Compound), Alex and Ramona re-hash the previous night's fight, and Ramona tears up for the ninth time in 24 hours. "My relationship with Jill...the last 20 years, has been a sham," Ramona says in the kind of melodramatic confession only made by tipsy reality show starlets. Ramona and Alex went back to the hotel by themselves to sit around in their garish African robes (god, I can't wait til they get back to the states) and trash talk LuAnn, thus setting the stage for a potentially epic conflict with the head housewife.

Unwilling to wait for the feud to take shape naturally, Alex stomps downstairs (and interrupts LuAnn's henna session *gasp!*) and pulls some crazy Blanche DuBois routine in hopes of stirring up some drama. Amazingly, it doesn't work and the rest of the ladies basically call her on her bullsh!t. "You're being inauthentic," Kelly Bensimon tells her. "This is not how normal people act. You're crazy weird." Basically, Kelly gained a million of my respect points and Alex lost one (she didn't have many to begin with). Don't worry, ladies; I'll still accept sugar mama proposals from both of you. 

In a lot of ways, The Real Housewives of NYC are just like the rest of us. When there's tension within the group and they need to unwind they do it the old-fashioned way - with a first class trip to Morocco! Yep, the girls set off for their own Sex and the City II experience on last night's episode, invading the Middle East like little Bushes in Louboutins. And of course, in true Housewife fashion, they eschewed the comforts of home so that they might be better able to experience a strange and unique culture. I kid, they acted like total snobby b!tches. "I'm nervous," Ramona Singer confided on the flight over. "I like my white cotton sheets, feathered pillows...I need my pinot grigio at all times." Well, she's in luck...if North Africa is known for one thing, it's pinot grigio. Either that or violent civil unrest, I forget which. 

The girls traveled on two separate flights, segregated by hair color, and Ramona even went so far as to e-mail her list ofdemands requests to LuAnn de Lesseps and company who arrived first. "600 thread count sheets, hand weights, pinot grigio..." the list goes on, and as the topper, she asked that the hotel staff unpack her bags when she arrives. So basically if you ever wondered why the rest of the world seems to hate Americans, look no further than Ramona Singer. If only we could explain to them that everyone in America hates her, too. The blondes arrive, declare that Morocco looks "ookie" and complain that "there's poverty all over." This is all before they even get to the hotel. Things can only get better from here, right?

Once they arrive at the friggin' palace that LuAnn rented for them, Sonja freaks out about their luggage getting stolen by one of those dirty Moroccans, even the place is clearly a 4-figure a night resort. Other than some light racial profiling, though, the blondes are in good spirits and Kelly Bensimon declares that they "seem happy and good," leading Jill Zarin to dismiss her by saying, "Don't believe a thing you just saw." Basically we're building up to the biggest conflict this part of the world has seen since Darfur. But instead of guerilla warfare, the battles will be fought with passive-aggressive comments and simmering glares. 

Ramona further demonstrates her astonishing lack of cultural sensitivity by showing off her vacation wardrobe, which mostly consists of dresses that a leathery middle-aged booze sponge shouldn't wear in any part of the world, but especially not in Morocco. "Yes, it's a westernized county," says LuAnn. "But it's conservative. It's not girls gone wild." While Ramona and Sonja unpack (I imagine it took 3 or 4 days) the rest of the girls go outside to talk sh!t about them. They speculate about how much work Ramona has had done (hint: a lot) and decide that she's trying to use doctors as a fountain of youth. LuAnn says that's ridiculous, because, "We all know sex is the fountain of youth." I liked this movie better when Sarah Jessica Parker was in it. 

Because it’s good to make friends with someone so that you can learn their business and then talk behind their back, Countess LuAnn and Kelly Bensimon are friends now.

The ladies go to a salon where LuAnn gets her nails done. Kelly says that she’s lonely and needs “some dating princess has to come and spread dust on me.” LuAnn tells her that she needs to trust people. Kelly also needs someone who will trust her, considering that she’s batsh!t crazy and all.

Alex McCord and Sonja Morgan meet up for lunch to have another unproductive discussion about how they’re going to pretend that they’re friends and “move forward.” Alex thinks she’s a pitbull now because she speaks up, but she cowers and tends to always say that issues she’s still uncomfortable with should suddenly be “dropped.”

We love Cindy Barshop, and so does Kelly. Kelly and Cindy meet up for the mandatory ‘Let’s-talk-about-our-co-stars-that-aren’t-present-because-we’re-contractually-obligated-to’ chit chat! Ramona Singer is brought up. Kelly doesn’t want to go to Ramona’s event, so she emails her (in front of Cindy) on her Blackberry, telling Ramona that she won’t make it.

Ramona is hitting the runway again and we almost cream our panties just thinking about it. Turns out that Ramona saw right through Kelly’s message. Ramona tells Sonja that she was hurt by Kelly’s email and she won’t support Kelly if she won’t support her.

And now it’s time for wine and strange men! LuAnn’s boyfriend throws a wine & speed dating event and every guy there is undateable, but some are f*ckable.

Kelly asks one of her dates to perform a scene from the movie Due Date. The scene requires Kelly’s stranger to tell her that he has cancer before asking her to marry him. He obliged and he sucked! More importantly, who tells an Oscar winner, let alone an aspiring actor, to perform a dramatic scene for them after they introduce themselves?!

Simon van Kempen throws his wife a birthday party. While walking to the party, Kelly tells Cindy that Ramona sent her a drunk text. Cindy says “I think people learn not to drunk text, uh, when you’re in college.” Cindy is 47 years old! She knows damn well that cell phones weren’t around when Ramona was in college and she may be unfamiliar with text etiquette; plus there’s nothing wrong with drunk texting! That’s how some of us get laid.

Simon’s birthday party is a picnic for her kids that Cindy loathes and Kelly also hates. Kelly said that “It was cold. It was cold. And it was REALLY cold” while Alex says “All of Simon’s plans fell into place perfectly, and this has been the best birthday yet.” We’re surprised Alex hasn’t filed for bankruptcy yet. She’s modeling because she obviously needs the cash, and her man couldn’t even afford a nice dinner? He took her a*s to the park and fed her a cookie on her special day.

When Bethenny Frankel actually becomes a "real houseweife" and mother, she's no longer on the show! Bethenny needed to leave Bravo's hit series cause she was so incredibly over it, it was written across her face during last season's 3-part reunion series, and now she's free!

Bravo asked Kelly Bensimon, Alex McCord, Jill Zarin, the "Money Can't Buy You Class" ho, Sonja Morgan and Ramona "Crazy Eyes" Singer back for more reality TV. Bethenny's show "Bethenny Getting Married?" is ratings gold and she is currently filming season 2.

Kelly is completely obsessed with Bethenny so it should be interesting to see how Kelly functions now that her muse is not around. Additionally, if Bethenny were to stay on the show, Jill would continue to try to win her back when the cameras were rolling and viewers don't need to waste time watching that train wreck either.

Bravo is also interested in adding another housewife to the show... I hope it's someone funny who can remind viewers of Bethenny.

Kelly Bensimon is one of the most fascinating people in the history of reality TV. Unlike many reality TV stars who behave badly for publicity or are naturally vile individuals whose actions just happen to be captured on camera, Kelly is always innocent no matter what happens. I like that about her, at least she's consistent.

Kelly spoke with E! news about what she's been up to since the Real Housewives of New York City's explosive 3-part reunion.

On whether or not she'll return to RHONYC: “We’re just going to see. The deciding factor is really just being able to celebrate these women—I don’t want to fight with people. That’s really like the big deciding factor, if it’s going to be authentic. If it’s not authentic, I don’t want to be a part of that.”

On how the RHONYC cast may change: “I’ve asked a lot of my friends. If they do want to change up cast, I have a lot of awesome friends that I’m sure would jump on with me. I’d be like, ‘Let’s have some good times. Let’s have some fun here.’”

On possibly making up with the woman I think is her lesbian crush, Bethenny Frankel: “We haven’t been in touch, because we’re not filming anymore, but her value system has changed. I can be sensationalistic on camera, but my children are the most important things to me. So I’m happy that now we have something to bond over.”

You know Kelly honestly believes the only reason she and Bethenny aren't having sleepovers every night is because the show is not filming right now. Saying "I can be "sensationalistic, [aka CERTIFIABLY INSANE] on camera" is cute. Keep at it Kelly. You can never do any wrong.

Kelly Bensimon of the Real Housewives of New York City is truly crazy because she believes that she is completely sane, which is the biggest symptom of being certifiably batsh*t! Kelly talks to Harper's Bazaar about why she is so awesome and lets us know that her co-stars are just throwing shade.

On her alleged mental instability: “I am not crazy. I am unpredictable. I’m not in therapy.”

On her RHONYC co-stars: “Whether it’s my nail color, my hair color, or the shoes I’m wearing, everything about me bothers them…They want to go to the parties I go to, they want to hang out with me, they want to do the things that I’m doing.”

On what she tells her daughters about her RHONYC scenes: "I tell my girls, ‘Your mom gets paid to engage in inappropriate behavior.’ It’s an amazing opportunity for them to see that being mean is not okay. I tell them, ‘If you’re in a situation like this, walk out. Don’t come back with jelly beans.’”

Kelly calls herself "unpredictable," yet claimed that Bethenny Frankel and crew are "Dangerous because they're unpredictable. Being unpredictable is dangerous." Bravo seriously needs to give Kelly her own show. My posts don't do this woman's crazy any justice. Think of anyone you know who may be off their rocker, multiply that by 2000, and you've got Kelly Bensimon.