Sometimes, people pull crap that writes itself. And in this case, it might just be best for you to read Diane Story’s words for yourself. Diane is Kevin Federline’s aunt, and apparently she pulled inspiration straight from her nephew’s love life. Her $4 e-book, Pop Baby Krissy Doucet, centers around an out-of-work dancer named Keenan Fazio who falls in love with pop star Krissy Doucet. Sound familiar?

K-Fed was famously a backup dancer for pop princess Britney Spears, and they quickly got married and popped out two kids, much to the shocked faces of everyone around. Though we’ll never know if Brit Brit and K-Fed used light bondage, sex toys, and three-ways in the bedroom, that’s just what you get in this novel.

In a blurb from her website, she writes, “The moment Krissy set her sights on Keenan, she knew he was amazing. Choosing him at the club was one of the best decisions of her life. Yet how can she compete with the beautiful Tara Butler, a woman from Keenan’s past who understands his sexual desires? Would sharing Keenan in Tara’s bed be their only option for love?”

If that’s not LOL-worthy enough, Ms. Story also has a contest wherein the winner can get one of Britney and Kevin’s original wedding invitations. Way to be subtle. Doesn’t mean we want to read a story in which “lust and love go hand in hand” when that lust and love is happening between those two. That's a time in our lives we'd all like to forget.

K-Fat was rushed to the hospital again. Kevin Federline was suffering from chest pains and a "roaring pulse" while filming Excess Baggage, Australia's version of Celebrity Fit Club.

Kevin, 33, was treated by Fremantle Media production company's on-set paramedics. He was given oxygen and transferred by ambulance to the hospital.

Daddy Dude has been filming the reality series for nine weeks. Kevin is 6 feet tall and 231 lbs.

This is the second time K-Fat has been hospitalised this season.

I watched Kevin Federsperm on Celebrity Fit Club and he was so determined to keep the weight off. It's insane that this man used to make a living from being a backup dancer and now he's obese.

K-Fat was filming Excess Baggage, Australia's equivalent to Celebrity Fit Club, when he reportedly collapsed and was taken to the hospital. Kevin Federline lost 30 pounds on Celebrity Fit Club but he steadily gained it all back.

Kevin Federsperm in 2009

Kevin was taken to the hospital "as he was showing signs of heat stress."

He has since been released and filming has resumed. Federline is currently filing in what is said to be "widely regarded as one of the most remote and hostile parts" of Australia. Excess Baggage will air on Nine Network next year. Who knew that being a fat f*ck was profitable?! Daddy Dude brings nothing but Britney's checks to the table. We're so over him.

Photo: Fame

Daddy Dude is a daddy for the fifth time! Longtime girlfriend Victoria Prince, 28, pushed out another one of Kevin Federline's children. She named her daughter Jordan Kay. Jordan was born on Monday night.

In April, Kevin Federsperm said: "[Victoria] said that she wanted to name her Jordan. And then, we actually thought that it was a boy, but we stuck with the name Jordan." 

Kevin claims that he does want to get married again. "I will wait until I have the courage to propose."

This is only the beginning for Daddy Dude. His super sperm isn't done fertilizing eggs yet. I predict that he'll have at least two more kids, all supported by Brit Brit's child support payments. I'd wish these tools congrats, but I don't have it in me. Women need to stop having Kevin's children until he finds the courage to marry his chicks before busting a nut without protection.

People have got to make their money somehow, and I guess this is one way, but it doesn’t feel any less tacky. Kevin Federline’s grandfather, Earl Story, is exploiting the fact that Britney Spears once had a major brain fart in her prime years and married his grandson.

To make some moolah, Earl is selling all sorts of K-Fed/Britney Spears memorabilia on eBay, including private wedding pictures, baby shower and wedding invitations, and a hat Kevin wore to an awards show signed by him and Brit-Brit.

The eBay page says the sale is to “help fund his retirement” and the message further explains that, following the death of his wife (and K-Fed’s G-ma), “Earl no longer wishes to keep these items when they can be appreciated by a collector.” Appreciated? Um...don’t most Britney Spears fans want to forget the little blip that was her marriage to K-Fed?

For that reason, I don’t know who exactly would want to bid on the collection, but the whole situation makes me feel uncomfortable. Releasing private wedding photos--some of which supposedly have never been seen publicly--come on! Even if K-Fed’s already given his consent, it seems a little invasive to poor Britney. But I guess she's used to it by now.

Photo: WENN

Three years after her public, paparazzi-documented meltdown (complete with hair-shaving and umbrella-thrusting, in case you've forgotten), Britney Spears will regain custody of her five- and four-year old sons Sean Preston and Jayden. They are set to accompany her and her boyfriend-agent Jason Trawick on her summer tour.

The pop princess says she is taking the boys on the road with her on the two-month North American leg of her Femme Fatale comeback tour from June. She has finally reached an amicable deal with ex-husband Kevin Federline.

K-Fed supposedly has no problems with sharing custody--the deal just needs to be court-approved--so it looks like things are on the up-and-up for Ms. Spears.

Though, if her kids are going to be on tour with her, I sincerely hope they invest in some good blindfolds and/or noise-cancellation headphones. Because no boy should ever have to see his mamma up-close-and-personal spreading her legs and making sexy pouts and singing about threesomes. At least until he’s psychologically prepared.

Photo: Wenn

Kevin Federline has his fifth baby due this summer, and with the new addition to the family he's almost ready to propose to his delusional girlfriend Victoria Prince. Speaking with Us Weekly about the future Federline fetus and his relationship with Victoria, K-Fed says there's "No wedding is in the works at all," but he does want to get married.

Kevin hasn't proposed to Victoria and he's not going to do so "until I have the courage to propose."

Don't hold your breath Victoria, he's not getting down on bended knee and proposing.  He gets $20,000 a month from Britney Spears for alimony until death or he remarries and you know he's not going to screw himself out of that monthly check. Victoria should move on to a real man right now because K-Fart isn't going to put a ring on it. 

[Photo Via Pacific Coast News]

One person who doesn't seem to care whether Kevin Federline pops out another kid with yet another woman is Shar Jackson. Since news broke that Kevin's girlfriend Victoria Prince is pregnant, Shar says people want to know if she has a comment on Kevin's baby news.

"And I'm like, 'Yeah, I have a comment. I need to go home and cook for my own kids!' "

Shar has moved way beyond Kevin, but she wishes the best for Victoria and Daddy Dude.

"I've got my own family to worry about, I can't really be worried about what's going on with anybody else. Good for them, and of course I wish them well."

As long as she's getting child support from Kevin Federline she's not worried, but I am. We're being over-populated with tiny little Federlines! If I had the money, I'd put a hit on his balls. Somebody needs to castrate that fool before any more damage is done.

We all knew it was only a matter of time!

The National Enquirer reported that Kevin Federline knocked up his longtime girlfriend Victoria Prince the other day. Now various outlets, including People magazine, all report that Victoria Prince is preggers.

E! news reports that Victoria is about five months along. 

Federline divorced Spears, 29, in 2007, and they share sons Sean, 5, and Jayden, 4. The former dancer also has two kids with ex Shar Jackson: daughter Kori, 8, and son Kaleb, 6.

I feel nauseous. Kevin Federsperm needs to get a job! You also have to wonder if Victoria actually wanted to get pregnant or if she just happened to fall asleep while naked and sharing a bed with Daddy Dude. Even if Victoria was on birth control, it wouldn't matter.  When you're banging the Sperminator, the jizz always wins.

Britney Spears has released a statement on her website denying the child abuse allegations which her ex-bodyguard Fernando Flores says he witnessed. Britney says an investigation by the Department of Children and Family Services found no merit to Fernando's claims.

"This lawsuit is another unfortunate situation where someone is trying to take advantage of the Spears family and make a name for himself. The Department of Children and Family Services conducted a proper investigation surrounding Mr. Flores' accusations and have closed the case without any further action. Ms. Spears and her attorneys have every expectation that this matter will be dismissed by the courts."

Daddy dude Kevin Federline has also spoken out about the lawsuit and his lawyer said Kevin is "satisfied that the allegations are a product of economic motives. They are as baseless as they seem."

Fernando has no intentions of settling with Britney behind closed doors, and plans on dragging this case through the courts. Britney's statement doesn't mention anything about Flores' allegations that she walks around naked, which made him feel uncomfortable enough to quit his job. Of course it leads me to believe she is walking around the mansion with her snatch hanging out, and a cold Frap in hand. Maybe this lawsuit will teach Britney to wear clothes around her staff?!?