Kevin Federline
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Who wants to join me in taking Kevin Federline hostage and cutting off his nuts with a plastic knife? Fat boy has done the unthinkable and knocked up his girlfriend, Victoria Prince.

Sources say Victoria suspected she was prego after a trip to Vegas in mid-October and confirmed it after taking a home pregnancy test. Kevin isn't thrilled to be a daddy for the fifth time, and word on the street is that Britney Spears is not a happy camper about the pregnancy either.

"Britney never wanted Kevin to have another child unless it was with her," revealed a source. "She desperately wants to have a baby girl, and she had hoped Kevin would be the dad."

Beggars can't be choosers! If Britney doesn't want him to have children with some other dumb ho who is stupid enough to allow his sperm in her vagina, then she should have had him fixed while they were together. She could have put some of his little swimmers on ice until she was ready to have another. And why does she want to have more kids with him anyway? 

Kevin Federline is almost finished with his sting on Celebrity Fit Club and I can't wait to see how much weight he has lost. He may shock us all by dropping a ton of weight and coming out looking hot instead of like a hood rat. It's K-Fed, though, so I'm keeping my expectations low.

As part of the regimen on the show Kevin, along with the rest of the contestants, has to keep a daily journal and go through therapy. According to KayCee Stroh, who is also on the show, Kevin is 'as cool as a cucumber' and keeps it together when everyone else is falling apart.

"All the rest of us are sobbing like babies, but Kevin is pretty calm and collected. Kevin is really a trouper. He's actually quite shy and quiet and soft-spoken. But when he pipes in, he's very funny and really witty."

How much did he pay her to say that? I didn't know K-Fat was such a caring, calm dude and a comedian all wrapped up in one chubby body. He's quiet and shy because when he talks the entire room reeks of his Domino's Pizza and Marlboro menthol cigarette breath.

Britney Spears is ready to fight Kevin for custody of their two sons. It is rumored that Britney will file legal documents to gain full custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James, once her Circus tour ends in November.

Britney believes the boys have picked up bad habits such as cursing like a sailor from their fat daddy Kevin who has become a poor role model for the kids.

"Britney feels that leaving Kevin in charge has turned her sons into cursing, ill-mannered little boys who don't behave. Britney wants to be the one who chooses where the boys go to school and where they go to church."

The kids are used to hearing Kevin drop curse bombs and seeing his fat a** hanging out with lazy washed up back-up dancers who either hang out all the time or live at the house. Britney has worked hard to change her life around in the past year, and it's time she gets full custody with the boys.

Fat lazy boy in the house! Kevin Federline isn't just a slob because he's fat and nasty, he also carries over his laziness into his home life too.  Fat-F*ck has been hit with a bill for $110,661 in unpaid rent, and damages he did to a home he was renting in Tarzana, California.

The home owners claim K-fed owes 6 months in unpaid rent and left the house in craptacular form. If he doesn't pay up, they're threatening to take the dough boy to court.

Some of the damages listed in the letter sent to Kevin include:

Gutters full of cigarette butts and empty beer bottles
A broken beer dispenser on the barbecue island
Permanent spit marks on exterior paint
Drawings all over the walls
A room that was turned into a studio (without the owners' permission)
Broken dishwasher ... with broken baskets
Master bathroom windows tinted (without owners' permission)

Why run away and not pay your bills when everyone knows who you are and they can track your wide-load a** down? It's too bad the gutters never caught fire and burned down with Kevin trapped inside... The kids would be at Britney's of course.

I love the idea of having tinted windows in his bathroom. He's trying to recreate his fat-fug-driving-down-the-road-sweating-like-a-whore-on-a-busy-Saturday-night look.

The fat boys newest member is leaving the group. Kevin Federline has signed up to be a contestant on the next season of Celebrity Fit Club.

As reported by TMZ, fat f*ck K-Fed was seen arriving on set for the hit celebrity weight loss show. Other celeb contestants set to shed some pounds on fit club are Bobby Brown, Nicole Eggert and Kevin's ex, Shar Jackson. Kevin and Bobby's fat asses should have been on Tool Academy instead!

Kevin Federline's baby mama and ex-girlfriend Shar Jackson is ridiculously good at answering questions diplomatically. She always has been. At an HBO Emmys afterparty last night, Shar was asked about Kevin Federsperm's weight gain.

Shar said, "He doesn't care. The beautiful thing about him is that he could care less."

It's obvious that K-Fat doesn't care, but gaining about 60 pounds and being overweight is not "a beautiful thing." Just ask Jelly Clarkson who has four chins and looks impregnated. Kevin used to be a backup dancer. He used to be hot. At this rate Kevin's going to be obese by next year!

Dare I say it, but I wouldn't mind it if Kevin continues to rapidly gain weight. I'm interested in seeing just how big his titties will get.

Many of you know that my love for Daddy Dude runs deep. I actually thought that he was very attractive. It's like Kevin Federline had this raw sexiness that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

But the former backup dancer continues to gain weight and he's now the male version of Jelly Clarkson. Although K-Fat is turning into a blimp, I still wanna play with his boobs, slap him with a dildo, and make him scream my name while I taunt him with Oreos and whipped cream that I'll place all over my nekkid body. I dunno what this all means. Is the guy that I'm dating going to knock me up after a night of whipped cream foreplay, or do I still have a crush on Daddy D?

Holy plumpness, Fat Fed! Kevin Federline is seriously getting fat and he looks like crap!

You need to do something about that big boy cause it's getting a bit out of control. Not that anyone is gonna want his sperm bank a** but at least he would be easier to look at.

Britney should see if she could stop his cash flow since it's all going to his 36 pack gut. Buy a trainer and get on a home delivered meal plan! Hell, do us all a favor and call Jenny Craig

!

Daddy Dude and his skinny girlfriend Victoria Prince celebrated Kevin Federline's birfday at Club Greenhouse in New York City last night. Notice how Daddy Dude is just standing there looking all awkward around all those people who don't have a gut or moobs?

All the new sex Daddy Dude has been having with his volleyball playing girlfriend has got his brain cells workin' fo sho and given him an Oprah "A-ha! moment."

Now that he actually has a bitch to impress, the kids just didn't provide enough motivation, Kevin Federline wants to start a bidness, a clothing line for his four kids, six unborn ones, and all the other children out there in the world.

Daddy Dude, who has been living off of Britney Spears' child support payments of $20k/ month claims that clothes for kids are too expensive, so he wants to keep it gangsta and make cheap shit - literally and figuratively, I assume.

Federline, said he was scoping out the styles for inspiration.

"It's a really tough business, I'm trying to take it seriously and make a quality product for kids but not have parents pay like $500 or something ridiculous for a pair of jeans. You buy your kids a pair of True Religions then they roll around in the dirt like kids do and a $200 pair of jeans is gone," he went on.

"With this economy, I'm looking to do something much more reasonable."

K-Well Fed is in talks with Gerard Guez about a licensing deal. There's no word yet on the name of his line or a release date. I say he should go with Kiddie Dudes by Daddy Dude.

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