So, Kim Kardashian didn't meet her "married by 30" deadline, that doesn't mean she can't move across the country to scare off yet another professional athlete!

According to sources close to the Kardashian clan, Kim is considering a permanent home in NYC, in order to be closer to her athlete of the moment, Kris Humphries. And that's just the start of Kim's wedding jones...

"Kim is a hopeless romantic," says sister Khloe. "She takes pictures with my engagement ring. I'm like, 'Oh my god, you've got to give it back.'" Uh huh. I think when Khloe says "give my damn ring back," Kim hears "find your own basketball player!" If things don't work out with Kris, Kim's gonna start running out of sports and you know she doesn't wanna end up with a curler or some water polo dude.

(Photo: WENN)

Khloe Kardashian looks photo-shopped to hell absolutely amazing on the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine. Alright so I'm lying and I really don't think she looks that hot. I've seen her look much better! The body is fine but her face looks hit. WTF did those photo editors do? Oh well. Although Khloe's a curvy girl, she says that's one of the hardest thing dealing with as a Kardashian...the Kardashian body image.

"Kim and Kourtney have said to me, 'If we were put under the same negative attention that you are, we couldn't handle it.' If I want to wear a long flowing dress, someone will say I'm pregnant. I believe we're not given any more than we can handle and most of the time I can handle it. But we all have fat days and if I'm having one of those days, those sorts of things make me feel down."

She's a tough b!tch and isn't gonna let a few people talking about her looking like a sasquatch get her down. Besides, she's not ashamed of her curves.

"Girls tell me and my sisters, 'We love your booties'. Just yesterday a really thin stylist said to me, 'I wish I had your booty. I don't have one.'"

Guys like big ones, short ones, fat ones, and skinny ones, so there's plenty of different Kardashian body types to go around for everyone. I think Khloe looks fine the way she is. For cryin' out loud, she's normal. *Gasp!*

Kris Jenner opened up to Redbook about her fabulous daughters Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian and the hard work they put into their reality shows, clothing line, and everything else in between. You wanna talk about hard working hoes, Kris says her girls work 25 hours a day.

"It's annoying when I hear, 'What do your girls do?' Well, first of all, all of my daughters have jobs. They are fashion stylists and designers; they own a chain of stores. They had the stores before they had the show. And my kids worked from the time they were 13 years old. So to me, that's a huge misconception that the girls don't work. They work 25 hours a day."

Not only do they give 150% when they working, they're apparently the best reality show producers ever!

"They might not be singers or dancers, but they certainly know how to produce a television show. Whether you want to call it talent or not, they have multiple shows on the air. How many shows do you have?"

Oh gawd, really Kris? If 'Keeping up with the Kardashians' was a lack-luster show, they wouldn't have the other reality shows under their belt right now. Besides, most people were tuning in to watch Kim's conjoined twin also known as her @ss bounce around on screen. I didn't watch their original reality show to see the ladies; I was all about Bruce Jenner. I tuned in to see the classic 80s feathered hair he always sports, and wondered what his face would morph into week by week.

Khloe Kardashian wants to make giant goofy looking babies with Lamar Odom. Okay, she didn't say she wanted giant goofy babies, that's just what I assume they will look like. I'll feel bad if those kids are stuck with the 'I have no clue WTF is going on around me' look like Lamar does.

Khloe and Lamar are actively trying to conceive a baby Sasquatch, but it's just not working out.

"If it happens, it happens. It takes time, I guess. I don't know what the problem is."

I'll tell you what the problem is... The world isn't ready for Khloe and Lamar to pop out 6 foot tall babies. Khloe and Lamar would create a new specimen to the human race known as the Khlodoms. Huge, clueless looking people. They couldn't pop out little average size kids. They're just going to have to wait a few years while Carters figure out how to make fashionable outfits for giant babies without making them look ridiculous.

The Kardashians raked in $65 million last year through their numerous television shows, fashion lines, product endorsements, and everything in between. That's big loot, but there's one huge money maker that got away... The prepaid Kardashian Kard. The NY Post reveals how they would have made a butt load more had it worked out.

Research would have netted them $3 for every card activated, 25 percent of fees rung up by cardholders, a $75,000 advance on royalties and a $37,000 signing bonus.

"There's something sexy about a couple sharing a scent," says Khloe. B!tch, it's called sweat, and that ain't sexy. In their debut commercial, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odumb are allegedly naked and ready for intercourse, cause their chocolate scented unisex fragrance is an aphrodisiac apparently.

These two are clearly very happy and they're still in the honeymoon phase. They've been together less than two years and Lamar is always away playing basketball, which doesn't give them much time together to irritate each other. When he's in town, their sex must be like honeymoon meets conjugal visit meets just-returned-from-deployment military style sex. If you wanna roll your eyes at this overdose of cheddar, jump in and hit play.

If I had a couple of sisters who were small, fit and hot and I was the Sasquatch who gets the 'Boom,boppa,boom,boppa' when I walk like the fat kid on Stand By Me, I'd get a little flustered about being the big girl in the bunch. Same goes for Khloe Kardashian but she's learned how to brush it off and get over it.

“I'm the ugly sister. I'm the fat one. I'm the transvestite. I have had those mean things said about me at least twice a day for the last five years. It's horrible, you know? But I can brush that stuff off."

She's married to a NBA star and makes serious loot acting a fool on the billions of Kardashian reality shows on E!. Just because she's not 5'2" and 125 pounds doesn't mean she's not fierce. Sexy comes in all shapes and sizes, you just gotta know how to work it. If I was famous for nothing besides being a Kardashian sister, I could learn to brush off the name calling to the side too with a little retail therapy.

'You think I'm fat? Check out my new Maybach, b!tch!'

When I think of two people who desperately need money, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom of the LA Lakers come to mind. Good thing they've created a new product to put out on the market. The happily married couple is releasing a unisex fragrance called "Unbreakable," which will be released on February 12.

Khloe blogged: “This project has been in the works for months now and we were involved every step of the way to make sure the fragrance was a true fusion of ourselves and our personalities. People literally stop me and ask what I’m wearing and the fact that I can say my own fragrance blows my mind! I can’t stop smelling myself.”

Can you think of one female who wants to smell like a man and one man who wants to smell like a chick?! Isn't the entire point of wearing a fragrance to smell feminine or like the Old Spice guy in the commercials: "Look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me." If "unbreakable" smells like something a dude and a broad could wear, it defeats the entire purpose. Khloe and Lamar's stank may be called unbreakable, but their marriage isn't. I give it two more fragrances.

The red-headed sasquatch looks like she's doing more high fashion photo shoots, sporting some serious dominatrix-looking head gear on the cover of YRB magazine. Khloe Kardashian is elated with the way the photos came out and couldn't wait to blog about the shoot on her website.

I am so excited to finally be able to share with you my spread in YRB magazine!!! Isn’t it fab?! It’s so different from anything I’ve ever done, which was what made the shoot so fun for me! YRB is known for being very wild and crazy with the content they publish, so I jumped at the chance to work with them! I love experimenting with different looks and this was the perfect opportunity for me to do that.

The headgear probably came from her own home from her previous night with Lamar Odom. She's gotta keep her man in check! Khloe also said her look for the magazine spread inspired her to dye her locks red.

This shoot was actually part of the inspiration behind my decision to dye my hair red. I had been considering it, but then the shoot went so well so I decided to go for it that day! I guess I was just in changing mood LOL.

Ugh. I'm still not sold on the red look because I think it looks orange. She needs that deep, dark, f-me red because it would totally fit her personality. Let's hear that fierce inner sex kitten roar, Khloe!

If the Kardashian sisters lost all of their money tomorrow, I wonder if anyone would feel sorry for them? The K sisters have been slapped with a $75 million lawsuit, filed by The Revenue Resource Group, LLC. The Kardashain sisters had their own prepaid debit card, but were unaware that hidden, possibly illegal fees were also associated with the card.

When fans alerted the Kardashians of the fees, the Attorney General of Connecticut opened an investigation which freaked the money hungry women out. The Kardashians then ended their deal with Mastercard and their lawyers said:

"The Kardashians have worked extremely long and hard to create a positive public persona that appeals to everyone, particularly young adults." The lawyers claim the investigation "threatens everything for which [The Kardashians] have worked."

Not so fast! The sisters signed a two-year contract, and the company has been "crushed by a wave of bad publicity" after the family bashed the card, so they want $75 million for it.

You know this is stressing these mayonnaise loving sluts out! More than likely the Kardashians and The Revenue Resource Group will settle out of court. The women will lose A LOT of zeros, which means that they'll begin putting their name on every product - from dental floss to kitchen products to hammers to tampons in order to replenish their losses. Watch out now!