Kim Kardashian
News

Here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian posing for the magazine I used to write for, Saturday Night Magazine. She looks absolutely gorgeous and that's because I know the art director Photoshopped and airbrushed her to perfection just like they do at every magazine.

On filming Keeping Up With the Kardashians:

I think that sharing our lives on the show is actually very beneficial. The best feedback was the wedding special. Before, people were saying, “Khloé and Lamar met a month ago now they are getting married. This is crazy and it can’t be real.” But, after seeing the wedding special you see the whole process of what their life is like together and how they fell in love. If anything, people are now saying they totally get it. It’s just the best way for us to tell our side of the story.

On what she wants for Christmas:
I am very content right now. I do like to buy myself something for Christmas and my birthday. I would like to buy myself a house. I’ve been saving for one for a long time, and I just want my own place. I love little stuff like new dishes if I move. I love and am obsessed with cozy robes. I just found robes for everyone in my family.

On the paparazzi:

If you happen to shop down Robertson Blvd. then you know they’re going to be everywhere. It happens that I love to go to this nail salon in Beverly Hills where there are always paparazzi. At times it’s frustrating because I just want to get my nails done with no makeup on and in sweats. Times like those you just wish they weren’t around... It’s not the end of the world. It comes along with the territory. It doesn’t make or break my attitude or mood. It doesn’t really matter to me either way.

I personally think that the NOH8 campaign is as counterproductive as Peta. The celebrities used in the NOH8 ads are mostly all fag hags. Get some rappers and some politicians to stand behind the cause, and then the ads will have more of an impact.

Anyway, the Kardashian sisters have joined the campaign aiming to overturn Proposition 8, which bans gay marriage in California. All three of the girls made statements on why they wanted to become involved. Kourtney gave the best statement saying,

"Now that I am bringing a life into the world, the cause means that much more. I want my son to grow up in a world where love conquers hate. It's crazy to me that in today's modern world, the fight for same sex marriage is even an issue."

Kim Kardashian basically said "Stop the H8, people!" Deep.

And Khloe Kardashian said, "There should be no limitations as to who we choose to spend our lives with and there should be no outside parties helping to make these decisions for us. If someone had told me that I couldn’t marry Lamar, I would have told them to go F themselves!" SIGH!!!!! Not too long ago Khloe wouldn't be able to marry Lamar and not too long before that Lamar could be jailed or killed for even touching Khloe.

I'm sure the gays want to tell Carrie Prejean and many others "to go F themselves!" I understand that Khloe's trying to convey how violated she would feel if she weren't able to make that choice, but b*tch should just go F herself or Lamar instead. Kourtney made the most sense. Also, how over it does Kimmy look while holding that shirt?!!!!!

Is little Kimmy cupcakes looking gorgeous in this photo or what!?! Kim was rocking a prosthetic chin, nose and cheeks for her appearance on Secret Celebrity which I didn't get a chance to watch, but I'm sure it will be replayed 30 times over the next week.

Kim Kardashian, you look marvelous! Those teeth are what really brings the whole look together. You can't be half fug with perfect teeth, you gotta take it all the way, baby! Check out the photos below to see Kim getting a sperm facial by Barney. It's actually pics of Kim getting the mold done for the prosthetics but you know I couldn't keep it clean.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta season 2 reunion should've been more "like bam!" but instead was more like "blonk!"

It was evident that it was all going downhill by the looks of the set itself. The cast members sat on couches at some ATL venue named "Opera" and the place looked haunted. It's almost like you could hear echoes. The ambiance sucked.

Sheree Whitfield: The stiffest of all the housewives spoke volumes with her body language. Beneath Sheree's long bangs, she could be seen rolling her eyes whenever Kim spoke. She also had on a ponytail that looked like a rope, which wasn't any better than her bang noodle and ponytail that she rocked during last year's reunion. Maybe the big jewelry didn't help, but there was something about Sheree's ensemble that made her look like a MANnequin.

Kim Zolciak: Her attire was hideous, but Kim doesn't know how to dress. She attended the She by Sheree fashion show in jeans and a wife beater. She also doesn't admit that she isn't 31. Her pathological lying is frightening.

Wiggy Kimmy was beyond disrespectful, frequently telling the host to "keep moving" and to "get off Big Poppa!" She knows nothing about respect cause she's a mistress who doesn't have a job. I could cut Kim some slack, but she claimed that she didn't attend Kandi's comeback performance cause her daughter may have had the swine flu. Why does Kim always have to name drop a potentially fatal disease for the sympathy vote?

Kandi Burruss: Needs to cool it with the weird facial expressions. She already resembles a frog and her lesbian mohawk isn't doing her any favors. She also seems uptight. She was trippin' that Lisa had cameras inside her bathroom and that a gay man grabbed her boobs? I wish I could go to a gay club everyday cause the boys love my girls. Heh. She needs to loosen up, but we still love her and she remains a fan favorite.

NeNe Leakes: B*tch was moving her hair piece outta her lazy eye exactly every .02 seconds. When you're on TV, it is NOT the time for primping and grooming. NeNe's new hair is fun, but she remains extremely uppity. You could just tell by the way she sat and stared and flicked her ugly hair piece that she thinks she's holier than thou. One reality TV show season later and she becomes a full-fledged diva?! And hatin' on Kandi just because she's successful? That makes her the immature and the ghetto one, not Kandi. It broke my heart to hear Kandi say that she liked NeNe the best and thought they would be friends.

Lisa: Looked gorgeous. I love her and I love her hatred for Wiggy Kimmy.

Dwight: Walked out on stage in a suit that was 2x bigger than his size. He had a lot of work done on his face since season one, and his makeup was heavy. He dissed all of the ladies as soon as he sat down on the couch, saying, "I feel like I've been at church all day!" But skinny a*s men in big suits should not throw stones. His pants were too short and they looked like capris when he sat down. He also got a penile implant - Kim put him on blast - and his face makes me uncomfortable. He is too old to be going under the knife like he is. He comes across as being so damaged and insecure.

  - In summary, the ladies GOTTA do better than this if they want to sustain a fan base. They put their drama aside, refused to answer questions or reveal anything interesting... the reunion was anti-climatic.

Kim "sang" at the end and Lisa busted out laughing, but it's not like that was interesting, either. We all know they're more ghetto and entertaining than that. Instead of Sheree asking "Who gon check me, boo?" these b*tches need to look at the reunion tape and check themselves. We want entertainment, not alliances and silence.

This is good news for folks like me who think Kim Kardashian needs to find some other athlete to settle down with. Shacking up will speed up their break-up.

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Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush are looking for a new house in the Hollywood Hills.

Kim has put her condo up for sale and Reggie has put his $5 million crib on the market as well. The on-again couple both share the same real estate agent. Reggie reportedly flew to L.A. the other week to look for new digs with Kimmy.

They're both hormone driven idiots. This is going to work!

Somebody got to do what many of us have dream of, punching Kim Kardashian in the face. Kim participated in a charity boxing match for The Dream Foundation and ended up getting smacked around more than she expected.

"My girl was a good sport, but she was tough! I knew I had to do it for charity, since that's what it was all about, but man, my girl could throw a punch! Look at my black eye!!!"

She's so nice about the whole ordeal, but let's remember these people paid to get in the ring with Kim and her brother Rob so they could beat the sh*t out of them. I don't believe it's a real black eye. That's some black eyeshadow she smudged under her brow to look like a bruiser. if you get punched hard enough to cause a black eye, there's going to be swelling and I'm not seeing any in this picture.

Lil Miss Delusional is talking about how some time apart from Reggie Bush made them both realize that they should be together.

Kim said, "We want to make it work, and the time off was really beneficial for the both of us."

Kim Kardashian contends that people need to take a break "sometimes" to see "how much they need each other and how much they really are compatible." I'm just doing some direct quotes, all! This b*tch has NO clue of how co-dependent she is.

Kim also said that she's trying to fly to all of Reggie Bush's football games this time around. Gawd bless her.

Here's some pictures of Kim, Kourtney, and Ciara at her 29th birthday party at TAO. Kim's mom and brother Robert were also in attendance. Kim pocketed an alleged $50k for having her bash there. Kimmy turns 29 on Oct. 21.

Hot girls are always a positive thing on a Friday afternoon. Especially if you just had to suffer through a conference meeting with your egotistical a-hole boss and co-workers who have moved up in the company by giving El Bosso penis massages during private meetings.

For people experiencing a crappy Friday afternoon, I give you Kim Kardashian photos from the November issue of FHM South Africa, to cheer you up. Now strap on your suspenders, get that TPS report done, and enjoy the rest of your Friday. You deserve it. :)

Kim Kardashian has put her three bedroom, 1,750-square feet condo up for sale. The beautiful "uber chic" property is located near trendy shopping boutiques on L.A.'s Robertson Blvd.

Kim said,

"I love my condo, it's beautiful! However, I feel that it's time to move into a home. I will miss it for sure!"

Kim also has a Marilyn Monroe-esque photo of herself in the guest bathroom, cause nothing cures constipation like seeing Kimmy's face and hearing her baby voice squeaking in your head.

Kim Kardashian is confused as to why the world is fascinated with her big butt. I'm fascinated because it looks like she has conjoined twins hanging off of her back, or she's constantly walking around with balloons in her pants.

Kim says there's 'constant interest' in her butt and 'girls come up to me and grab it, and people ask to squeeze it' which sounds a bit invasive! It would suck to have dudes and strange chicks constantly grabbing or poking at your sweet butt cheeks all the time.

Her butt is a freak of nature and she needs to realize we're going to be even more interested when it starts sagging in 20 years.