Levi Johnston
News

Loosen up, boy!

This isn't the first time Levi Johnston has walked the red carpet. He was Kathy Griffin's date at the Teen Choice Awards, he's had multiple appearances on The Insider, been interrogated by Tyra Banks and Larry King, plus he's an aspiring actor and model. But he still looks awkward.

Levi Johnston looks like he raided the Jonas Virgins closet and put this ensemble together. He also looks gassy and frightened. Loosen up, honey.

Levi Johnston will not be going full frontal in his Playgirl pictorial, but he's probably showing some booty cheek and some hint of a penis or something.

The hockey stick of his that we've been promised we would see is probably a real hockey stick. DUH! Levi used to play hockey while he was hunting and sperminating and being a f*cking redneck in Russia's backyard.

Levi shared the spotlight with his armpit hair which grosses me out, but I think he looks gorgeous here. Playgirl will be releasing a photo or two or hopefully three each day for the next few days.

Levi Johnston's manager Tank Jones says that Levi's hockey stick was involved in his much-hyped Playgirl photoshoot yesterday. Levi was also asked how big his dick is and he said, "A lot of people ask that, but you're just going to have to wait until next week when the magazine comes out. You will have to wait and see. I'm sorry."

I have never wanted to see some nekkid pictures as badly as I want to see Levi's. He was on The Insider earlier this week wearing a cream colored coat, (sorry I couldn't find video), and God DAYUM he looked hot! Bring it on, Levi!

Also, although Sarah Palin told Oprah that Levi is welcome to have Thanksgiving at the Palin home, Levi's manager said, "Nobody put out an invitation. So we wouldn't want to act premature."

Tank Jones also had a comeback for Sarah who said Levi's doing Playgirl for the attention, Tank says, "He's doing Playgirl because he wants to do Playgirl. A lot of famous people have done Playgirl: Jim Brown, Burn Reynolds, Mario Lopez." Agreed!

When Levi was on The Insider, Star Jones and another co-host were telling him that he's only 19 and he's going to regret doing the photoshoot and he shouldn't do it. Levi was pretty adamant about how much he doesn't care that he's going nude and he'd do it again decades from now. I didn't agree with Star Jones AT ALL. First of all, Levi mentioned that he signed a contract, her lawyer ass should know that it's too late for him to back out. 2nd) Americans are way too uptight when it comes to nudity. In Europe, nudity isn't a big deal at all. They're so liberated when it comes to their bodies and that's how everyone should be. I was only in Europe for a month, but I dated an Italian and I know many of his friends, therefore I consider myself a historian of European culture, mmmkay?

And as far as Levi's son Tripp being embarrassed that his dad went nude, haven't we all seen our parent of the same sex in their birthday suit? It's really not that serious. I'm glad that Levi had the balls to expose his own ones.

Does anyone know what today is? It's the day Levi Johnston shoots his penis pictorial for Playgirl magazine! I know you all had it marked down in your calendar and you'll be marking your calendar for the day the magazine comes out, too.

Levi was at the Fleshbot awards last night and won an award for crossing over from being a pop culture star to a sex star. While making his rounds on the red carpet, Levi mentioned that he met Jon Gosselin a few days ago and he believes Jon is a good guy.

He also said Jon is in the same situation as he is in right now, "he's a good guy that gets a lot of bad press." Levi said Jon even took some time from finding some 20 something year-old poon to give the young buck parenting advice!

"He was very positive and gave some good advice that I'm going to take. He told me kids are number one and do anything you can for them."

How nice of Jon to give advice to some jackhole who's getting ready to whip his trouser snake out for the world to see in a pictorial. Jon was probably asking Levi for pointers on how to make his wang look bigger so he can do a Playgirl photo shoot of his own.

Levi Johnston will be seeking joint custody at the end of this month because the Palin family is daddy blocking him from seeing his son Tripp.

Tripp is 10 months old now and Levi wants to be present in his child's life. Sarah Palin allegedly forced Bristol Palin to dump Levi and its been difficult for him to visit his son for a while now. He says that he's had it. Levi tells The Insider,

"It's not working. I'm done. It's going to have to go to court. They just finally pushed me over the edge."

Levi has also said that the reason he's put Sarah on blast is because she's keeping him away from his son. Tripp needs his dad and at least Levi has an interest in raising his son.  It's time for the Palin camp to man up and start behaving like grown ups.

Conan O'Brien and William Shatner gave another musical tribute with Levi Johnston as their inspiration, but this time around they apologized.

Levi's manager said that if the Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien doesn't retract its skit they're going to file a lawsuit!

"The real Levi is very angry with us," O'Brien announced to his giggling audience.

Conan used his opening monologue to issue a personal apology to Levi "for misrepresenting him in any way." Conan added, "We wish him the best of luck as he trains for his upcoming naked photo shoot."

The mocking continued in a skit that included "some real verified quotes" from Johnston. You can check 'em both out after the jump.

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Levi Johnston's manager is demanding a retraction from the Tonight Show.

In a skit that aired last night, William Shatner performs a beat-poet rendition of Twitter posts that were allegedly written by Levi. William said, "What's the deal with taxi drivers not speaking English, is it a law against it?"

That's pretty offensive and Levi was, well... offended. Levi's manager said, "We are pissed. For a major network to come on TV and report something without fact checking ... wow. You can say what you want to say, but don't lie."

Levi has never had a Twitter account and has never had a Facebook page. He has also deleted his MySpace. This story reminds me that Levi isn't going anywhere anytime soon. He's trying to ride his 15 minutes out like Speidi. He should be thanking the Tonight Show.

Levi Johnston must be packing some heat in them jeans cause he's decided to go with the full frontal for Playgirl magazine. Sarah Palin must be so proud he's the father of her grandchild.

Levi's manager confirmed the penis shots saying "Everything's gonna hang out. We're talking full johnson." You gotta admit that's a great statement, a little corny but still funny! Levi is shooting the pictorial the same day Sarah Palin is appearing on Oprah.

Levi Johnston is taking jabs and throwing elbows at Sarah Palin through the media. He was on CBS' The Early Show this morning and suggested he could say things about Sarah that could get her "in trouble and could hurt her." Levi also said Sarah had referred to her son Trig, who has Downs syndrome, as retarded.

"I'm not gonna go that far. You know, I mean, if I really wanted to hurt her, I could very easily. But there's – I'm not gonna do it."

Sarah Palin released a statement in response to Levi's accusations:

"We, like many, are appalled at the inflammatory statements being made or implied. Trig is our 'blessed little angel' who knows it and is lovingly called that every day of his life. Those who would sell their body for money reflect a desperate need for attention and are likely to say and do anything for even more attention."

Why even respond to some snobby little 19 year-old boy who is whoring himself and his penis out for attention? All of this b*tching and moaning about each other in the media makes them both look ridiculous.

Levi Johnston has been on a strict regimen of dieting and exercising for his nude Playgirl photospread. Levi is receiving six figures for his photos; and speculation over how much viewers may or may not see could possibly be put to rest now.

According to Levi's manager, Tank Jones, he's "90 percent sure" that Levi will go full frontal for Playgirl.

The magazine says that the photos will be taken by mid-November "in order to get the pictures out for the holidays." Hmmm... I know what I'm gettin' Grandma for Christmas!