Now this is one f*ckship that I could get behind! As much as I think Lily Allen's too good for John Player, I think she's the only one who wouldn't be constantly swooning over him and would show him who's fierce.

Lily Allen leaves her fans hanging. It wasn't too long ago when Lily Allen canceled her tour because she missed her boyfriend! Now that she is back on the road again, the English singer isn't doing a good job at keeping promises. Lily had a meet and greet at her Salt Lake City, Utah, show last night for her VIP fans when things didn't go so well.

Many didn't get to chat up the songstress, as she had to be carried from the event by her security guard, sometime after 11 p.m.

"The guard later came back to let the guests waiting know that she was not feeling well and would not be returning." Lily was "curled up in his arms, head on his shoulder and feet dangling."

The guard also informed those gathered that they would have to leave the area.

Maybe "not feeling well" before a show means that Lily's "really bad at doing drugs" too?

Lindsay Attention Addict Lohan got on stage at Lily Allen's Los Angeles concert while Lily was singing Brit Brit's "Womanizer." Lindsay was completely out of her element and looked like an awkward waif before raising her arms in the air and walking off shortly after. Shhhh.... someone should tell Lindsay that jumping on stage isn't the best idea if you want folks to believe that you're a serious actress who doesn't drink or do drugs. Only a crackhead would walk out on stage and then walk off like an awkward airhead.

Meanwhile Lily looks hawt! Lindsay comes out around 3:30.

I just gotta call it like it is.

This is the very definition of gangsta. Last week I said Ms. Lily Allen's water bottle attack wasn't hood enough, but she is slicker than I thought.

After Lily slapped a douche and threw a water bottle, she got the court to rule in her favor. Only in Britain, all.

The singer filed�"and was granted�"an injunction against the offending photographers.

"In a court hearing that took place this afternoon, my client, Lily Allen, has resolved issues surrounding her constant harassment with two picture agencies and has also obtained from the High Court an injunction restraining further harassment of her by other paparazzi photographers."

I guess it's a good thing she didn't kick them in the nuts then. Well done, bitch!

While in London today, Lily Allen unleashed her water bottle on some paps. One of the paparazzos bumped into her car. Lily then got out, threw her water bottle at one and slapped another.

Lily was then taken away by her security. Ha! They watched it all take place.

This attack just isn't gangsta enough for my fancy. A water bottle just don't be hood.

Sick fuck Michael Lohan lurks every website possible to find out what Lindsay Lohan is doing because his daughter doesn't talk to his ass. Via her Twitter, Lily Allen mentioned that she's spending some time with Lindsay, which, of course, prompted a response from Daddy Lohan.

Lily Allen didn't expect her posting to be read by her pal's dad - who promptly reprimanded her for her partying habits.
Allen tells Australian TV host Rove McManus,

"I've only been on Twitter for like a month or something but the other day I was in Los Angeles and I hung out with a friend of mine, Lindsay Lohan, and I got a Twitter from her father going, ‘Dear Lily, I think you have an alcohol problem that needs to be addressed.' From Michael Lohan! I was like ‘Leave me alone!'"

ZOMG! I want to cuss Michael Lohan out for Lindsay, Samantha, Lily and everyone on the planet, but you know it would be so draining. I just want to vomit on him. Sorry, all. I know that's a bit much, but at least I'm always honest.

Oh and Papa Lohan's Twitter is currently suspended! :)

You know bitch is sober. I think she can dance. Ha. Sometimes there's a lot you can tell from just a still frame.

Lily looks gorgeous.

Lily Allen is obnoxious, but that's what many of her fans love about her. Here's Lily Allen's quote from Spin Magazine

It's funny because my boyfriends have gone up in terms of age and how much money they make. Lester was 20 and had no money, Seb was 30 and had a bit more, Ed was 40 and had a bit more and Jay is pushing 50. That means the next one's probably gonna be 60. I like them old… and rich.