Lindsay Lohan
News

Lindsay Lohan should be banned from the United States, but officials in New Delhi are currently determining whether duck lips should be allowed to return to their country.

Lindsay was in India in December to shoot a documentary about sex trafficking. She was there on a tourist visa instead of a work visa. 

She might have gotten away with violating the country's visa rules had she not caught the attention of officials by lying over Twitter about the number of children she saved by raiding a child labor sweatshop.

"Over 40 children saved so far ... Within one day's work ... This is what life is about ... Doing THIS is a life worth living!!!" she tweeted while she was there.

According to The Telegraph newspaper, the raid was actually completed before LiLo had even arrived in India. Oops! Activists who participated in the raid were upset with Lindsay's comments and alerted officials. Her case is currently under review. Haha! What a dumb crackwhore.

Lindsay Lohan is suing E*TRADE for $100 million for its Super Bowl commercial which features a "milk-a-holic Lindsay." Yes, the has been is seeking $100 million off of the ad below. She doesn't only sound like a milk-a-holic, the amount she's seeking must be a crackhead move!

The ad features a baby that wants to know if her baby (pun intended) was partying with "that milk-a-holic Lindsay" last night.

Lindsay's lawyer Stephanie Ovadia claims that LiLo's "name and characterization" were used without compensation or approval. She said that the ad didn't need to mention the former movie star's last name. "Do you know the name Oprah? You know the name Madonna? Same thing. If you look at the commercial as a whole, it's Lindsay Lohan." Ooooohhh, using Lindsay's name in the same sentence as Oprah and Madonna? That must have made Stephanie feel powerful, more important even.

I'm actually on Team Lindsay with this one, but I hope she loses cause the last thing this woman needs is more money to buy gawd knows what, and I'm not talking milk.

Lindsay Lohan and her fauxmosexual a*s told The Sun that Samantha Ronson is the only one who will bring her out of lesbian retirement.

Before Sam, Lindsay was a maneater with an insatiable hunger. Then she switched to fish tacos, but things didn't work out so well for her.

Linds said: "If I wasn't with Samantha, I would probably be with a boy next. She's the only woman I've been attracted to. We love each other. We might reconcile the relationship, maybe. I don't know."

Stalker status!

Lindsay also says that Samantha's family is "very involved" in her relationships, which makes it "difficult." Lindsay says that SamRo's friends made Linds feel like an outcast and she thinks Sam's friends are jealous because Samantha's becoming more famous than the rest of them. So is Lindsay implying that Samantha's star power fades when she's not dating Lindsay? I don't wanna agree with her. I plead the Fifth.

Lindsay Lohan blames her psychopath father for her coke use and her destructive behavior. Lindsay tells Britain's The Sun: "I was terrified of [cocaine]. But I tried it because I was stubborn, stupid, and wanted to see what it was like."

In 2007, after her father began speaking negatively about her in the press, Lohan says she hit "rock bottom" and began abusing "alcohol, cocaine and mind-altering substances" to "mask" her problems.

LiLo also says that she just didn't know how to say 'No' cause she was trying to please everyone. Linds admits, "I ran myself down and I lost track of who I was." These days, she says she's "in a place where I don't need to use anything and I can feel emotions because I choose to."

Linds also claims that she's not Whitney Houston 2.0 and she's done with the nose candy. "It's not something I ever want to do again. It made me feel like s***. It became uninteresting to me. I'm hyper anyway and I have that kind of personality so I don't need something like that."

I think Lindsay was honest about being "hyper anyway." The rest of the interview reads like a fluff PR piece to me cause Lindsay needs to prove that she's not a crazy coked up b*tch by not acting like one over and over and over again.

Purple magazine's staff members are some brave folks if they're going to put this picture on the cover of its new issue. Lindsay Lohan is photographed donning a white robe, a crown of thorns, and in the crucifix position for Purple's latest cover.

If there was a church that worshipped Lohan, it would be called the Church of Lindsaytology. Instead of holy water you bless yourself with vodka before snorting a line of cocaine. You would sing praises to mighty Lindsay's plumped lips and her Sunkist soda colored fake tan. I'm not a religious person but I would totally become a member of Lindsaytology just for the free vodka.

Dating a woman like Lindsay Lohan is a form of abuse all by itself. But "sources" have told Radar that Samantha Ronson gets physical with Lindsay Lohan, and we're not talking about the God knows what they engage in between the sheets kind of 'physical.'

A source claims, “One time I saw her [Lindsay] and she had a large welt on her head. She told me that Sam beat the (bleep) out of her. She also said that Sam even punched and choked her one time.”

Following a break-in at Lindsay's Hollywood Hills home, Linds moved into an apartment in West Hollywood where Sam also lives. Sam "regularly comes over" using a key she has to Lindsay's place.

“It’s so twisted. They’re not together, but they are. I never thought I’d ever say this, but I really do feel sorry for Lindsay. She is just lost. She’s alone. She has no friends to turn to.”

This story has about as much credibility as must-write-notes-on-her-hand-to-give-speech Sarah Palin. It's all about a story's source and Radar is BFFLs with Michael Lohan, who may have provided this more than likely fabricated story to begin with. The story ends with: Michael Lohan has repeatedly expressed concern that Lindsay’s behavior is being negatively effected by the prescription drugs she’s taking and that she is taking too many.

SamRo is passive and that's why her friends have wanted her to stay away from batsh*t Lindsay. Samantha also looks like she weighs as much as one of my thighs. Lindsay is the aggressive one. If we're talking about who's more likely to punch or choke out who, it's gotta be Lindsay Blohan!

Even though my house is a complete wreck right now, I always feel a tiny bit better about my mess when I watch "Hoarders" on A&E. I couldn't imagine allowing my house to become a live-in landfill because I let it get so out of control.

You can mark Lindsay Lohan on that list of crazies who have problems getting rid of stuff they buy and let it pile up for 20 years in their homes. In an interview with Clean House host Niecy Nash, Lindsay says "I just need to get rid of ... stuff. That's personal stuff that I have to work on."

Niecy's going to help Lindsay get her shiz under control and if little Ms. Lohan is smart, she'll auction a bunch of it off for charity.

Lindsay Lohan's friend has sold her out, claiming that the has been actress is still a cutter.

When Lindz headed to a Golden Globes pre-party with Dina Lohan on Saturday, it was obvious that her arm was a bit sliced up.

Lindsay's friend says, "Why is Dina out partying with Lindsay when it's clear she's still cutting herself? Dina should be getting Lindsay help, not following her to parties."

... And by 'Lindsay's friend,' I mean Michael Lohan. How suspect does that quote sound? This story was posted on Radaronline, the trashy site that is BFFLs with Mikey.

Lindsay Lohan is a bit of a genius. She is no Blake Lively, who froze her nipples off in the name of fashion. Unlike everyone else who worked the red carpet at the Golden Globes with an umbrella held over their heads, Linds made sure to pick out a frock that came with a hood.

I love Lindsay's dress on her. I think she owns it. She's a conceited diva b*tch and you have to be if you're gonna have sloppy bangs hanging all over your eyelids while you forget to apply fake tan to your knees although throwing on a mini-dress.

LiLo's dress was made by Brian Lichtenberg and she completed the look with Fendi heels and Jason of Beverly Hills jewels.

Tom Cruise tops the Sexiest Short Man poll

Yay! I can finally dye my vagina bright pink!

New York City Firefighter Hunks Calendar... Enough said

Tila Tequila didn't go to Casey Johnson's funeral. What a class act

Lindsay Lohan is the next Mother Theresa

Cher is like hemorrhoids, you think she's gone away, but she pops back up

Adolph Hitler was actually a cool dude

Harry Reid is such an *ss

Blake Lively loses her pants for Esquire magazine

Monday posts will be back to normal next week. In fact, Firecracker and I will be back to our normal posting schedules at that time. See ya tomorrow!