Madonna
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That shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. Any old hag that has Popeye muscles like Madonna has to be a higher being. I see Madonna more as Xenu, who is the head alien honcho of Scientology.

Madonna took the kids to Malawi so David, whom she adopted from a Malawian orphanage, could see where he came from. During their visit, one of the children in the orphanage stroked Madonna's ego.

"You are our god, Where could we have been without you?" An onlooker noted that Madonna looked bemused by the comment but "seemed cool with it."

Kid, do you realize what you're doing when you say something like that to Madonna? She seemed 'cool with it' because she already feels that way about herself. She just needed someone to confirm it.

Alright, I'll be nice. Madonna started the Raising Malawi charity which has helped fund the orphanage along with five others in the country and that's why the little one gave Madonna the compliment. But still, telling Madonna she's a god will make her believe she can achieve world domination and we don't need that bullsh*t.

Lady Gaga is original, no doubt, but she's arguably just a Madonna clone of sorts. From LG's eccentric stage performances to her ability to create buzz by being an attention whore, it's obvious that Gaga has received an A+ in How to Get Attention So You'll Sell More Records 101, a course Madonna has taught for, like, two decades.

Madonna looks like she's having a little too much fun insulting Lady Gaga in this skit. It's fun because it's Gaga and Madge going at it and their similarities are so obvious. Love it.

Madonna is a very fun interviewee! Madge and David Letterman have great chemistry together. Madonna talks about how she rather get run over by a train than get married again. Sorry, Jesus Luz! And she talks about the men she's dated and then eats pizza with David.

Every interview should be this fun.

Madonna's funky new video features her sidedish, Jesus Luz. Jesus plays a DJ that Madge rubs her vadge on. Her daughter Lourdes also has a cameo, but you'll have to stick around until the end to check out Lourdes busting some moves. I just love this video. Madonna makes it work.

Madonna was obviously dating a wack job when she was with Jim Albright in the 90's. Who the hell is Jim Albright anyway? 

Madonna's ex-flame apparently kept the sexed up voice mail messages, and letters he received from her and they are now going to be auctioned off. Those suckers are gonna go public and we'll all get to hear what the horny b*tch had to say!

The singer faxed notes to ex-boyfriend Jim Albright and left erotic messages on his voice mail, and now the letters and taped calls are to be auctioned off. The recorded messages, on two cassette tapes, are expected to fetch in excess of $40,000.

Screw the messages and old fashioned faxes, I wanna see some poking on video! Even though she's 50 years old, she's got a great bod but I wonder if the vag on Madge is showing it's age. Ewww.

Madonna stopped to pay tribute to the two people who were killed when the concert stage they were putting together for her concert in Marseille, France, collapsed.

I'm telling you, those may be tears of 'I'm f*cked and going to be sued' more than they're 'Oh they were such wonderful people who I adored so much' tears.

Madonna will probably have a lawsuit to deal with after this little incident.

A stage that was being built for her concert this coming weekend in Marseille, France, collapsed killing one person and injuring 6 others.

The Marseille fire department says a stage being built for a Madonna concert in the French port city has collapsed, leaving one dead and six injured.

The fire department says the stage at the Stade Velodrome stadium fell apart on top of several workers Thursday. The six injured were taken to local hospitals. Details of their injuries and the identity of the dead worker were not immediately released.

Madonna paid tribute to Michael Jackson recently during opening night of her Sticky & Sweet tour at London's O2 arena.

Man, back in the day Madonna & Michael were the bomb! Of course, leg warmers & acid wash jeans were cool too. ;) It's cool that Madge took a small bit of time to pay homage to Michael during her show. It must have been painful for her to give few minutes of time to someone else besides herself.

Madonna has legally won the right to adopt 3-year-old Malawian orphan, Mercy James.

Madge was denied her request to adopt Malawi a few months ago, but she stayed up all night this morning waiting for the news.

"My client has been awake all night waiting for this," Madonna's Malawi lawyer, Alan Chinula, spoke to his client as soon as the ruling was made official, at around 2 a.m. her time Friday. "She was ecstatic when I broke the news to her. She said, 'Thank heavens.' "

Madonna issued the following statement today: "I am extremely grateful for the Supreme Court's ruling on my application to adopt Mercy James. I am ecstatic ... My family and I look forward to sharing our lives with her."

It should take up to five days before the paperwork is ready. Mercy will be coming to the States via private jet. She's lucky! Congrats.

It was only four years ago that Madonna fell off her ex-husband's horse, cracking three ribs and breaking her hand and collar bone! Fast forward to four years later and the buff diva has fallen off of a horse again!

Attempting to prevent the inevitable jokes, Madge's spokeswh*re is blaming the incident on paparazzos, saying that the horse was startled by flashes from a paparazzo and Madonna fell off. Heh. TMZ is reporting that no photographer was present.

But this is the gym freak we're talking about here. Madonna is still going to be working out tomorrow! Madonna's trainer Tracy Anderson said,

"We have our set training. She's like a professional athlete. She can't mess around with her training. There are no shortcuts when you're training in that way."

Her trainer sounds like one sick f*ck. There are shortcuts when you're injured. Tracy says that Madonna fell "on her butt," so she's totally fine. He also said that she'll be training six days a week, two hours a day, "absolutely."

This woman is just bone covered up in muscles. Madonna looks so tight, how is she even able to take a sh*t? The gyno's gotta use a crowbar just to give her an annual pap smear. You think I'm being gross? Those damn speculums are practically crowbars anyway.