Mariah Carey
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Mariah Carey looks like a Jelly Clarkson in training. One of the biggest divas in history is so full of herself that she didn't recognize that she looks horrible in her bathing suit.

Mariah was spotted while on the set of a photo shoot or filming music video. Whatever she was doing, she will be thinned out to perfection in the final version.

Whether Mimi's skiing or swimming, she has to show us her cleavage. But that suit does nothing for her body. It gives her a gut, reveals back fat, and the boy shorts make her look like a waddling dwarf. We rarely see MiMi bikini pictures and this may be why.

And no, I DON'T THINK SHE'S FAT, but the bikini she's in doesn't exactly make her look skinny, either. I wanna pinch her and make her hit one of her signature high notes. But I'll just settle for slapping some part of her body to see how long it jiggles.

Mariah Carey was on SIRIUS XM's Morning Mash Up radio show this morning where she talked about having a baby.

MiMi and Nick Cannon have already picked out their baby names "a long time ago." Mariah said, "We have to keep the name secret because if we told everybody, then somebody might use it and then we have to change it."

When asked for the secret to a happy marriage, Nick Cannon said, "Lots of sex!"

Carey agreed that, "of course," sex is vital to their relationship, but "I'm shy. I don't say things like that. That's where he comes in."

I can't even picture these two having sex of any kind anyway. The only images I can conjure up is Mariah butt nekkid sprawled out on some butterfly sheets in full makeup and weaves as Nick jacks in a cup cause she doesn't want him staining the sheets. A princess can't afford to mess up her hair or bust up her vocal chords screaming during some sexual act, can she?

Mariah Carey needs to fire whoever did this craptacular airbrushing job on the photo for her new fragrance, Forever.

Yeah her body may look amazingly tiny in that dress but her eyes are all googly like she died and they propped her up for one last picture. You could almost mistake her for one of those Real Doll sex dolls!

Eminem is back on his A-game! All it took was Mariah Carey mocking him in her new video for the song 'Obsessed' to bring him back to the old Eminem we all know and love.

Eminem's Warning Song To Mariah Carey

Eminem has released a new song called 'The Warning' where he basically tears Mariah a new *sshole and threatens to release racy pics of her.

"Oh gee, is that supposed to be me in the video with the goatee?/ Wow Mariah, didn't expect ya to go b---s out./ B---h, shut the f--- up before I put all those phone calls out/ When you was wilding out/ Before Nick, when you was on my di--," he raps.

He then threatens to reveal personal pictures he has of the Carey. "Mariah, it ever occur to you that I still have pictures?" he asks.

Game on, bitches! Why would anyone ever f*ck with him? Mariah knows Eminem is known for airing his rants in his songs so she was asking for it. Her vag must be the golden ticket cause he seriously still has a hard on for her.

A wise man once told me "A p*ssyhair can pull a train up a mountain,"' and boy is that true in this situation. She has Em wrapped around her short and curlys!

Mariah Carey wrote an apology on Twitter for her performance at Michael Jackson's memorial yesterday.

Mariah Carey's Performance At Michael Jackson's Memorial

Mariah said in her tweets:

Trying to sing today was basically impossible for me. I could barely keep myself from crying. Sorry that I wasn't able to pull it together and really do it right,but I was literally choked up when I saw him there in front of me. One thing I know is, we will never really have to say goodbye to MJ.

His legacy lives on through his music and the millions of people. He inspired with his timeless music. He will be forever in our hearts.

It's a frickin' memorial for a dead person. I don't think anyone was expecting a Grammy performance, and I thought she did fine. It could have been worse!

Those eyebrows are killing me! Mariah Carey is taking out revenge against Eminem by dressing up like the rapper who has mentioned her in interviews for the past eight years.

Eminem and Mariah Carey briefly dated in 2001 and he's gone on record about it numerous times including insulting her and Nick Cannon in his new song "Bagpipes From Baghdad."

Mariah shot "Obsessed" in New York City on Monday and the song includes the lyrics, "You're so lame....Ooh boy, why you so obsessed with me? Ohh finally found a girl that you couldn't impress/Last man on the earth/still couldn't get this."

In a BBC radio interview Eminem addressed Nick's response,

"There's a line on there that was a little harsh. It's a harsh line... But it's like this, the way I look at it. I had no idea he was going to take it like he took it. I had no idea Nick Cannon was going to start wildin' out on me," he said.

Good for MiMi! Maybe Eminem will finally let it go.

I really like it! This Mariah Carey song doesn't sound like a lot of her previous singles. It's not slow, it's not all about her soft whisper and screeching, it sounds modern/new as far as Mariah singles go, it's well done. MiMi's evolving with the times.

I can respect Eminem's talent, but the man child has got issues. In Eminem's new song "Bagpipes From Baghdad," an angry rant in which Slim Shady begs for Mariah Carey back and disses Nick Cannon, Eminem says, "Nick Cannon better back...up. I'm not playing, I want her back, you punk" and "Nick Cannon, you pr---, I wish you luck with that f---in' whore."

Nick then responded with some extremely lengthy blog rant. Nick claims that Eminem's song is "an act of racist bigotry." Nick's so damn cute when he attempts to be sensical. Awww.

Eminem talked to BBC Radio about his stupid track, saying,

"With the song, I kind of spazzed out on that record, but I guess I spazzed out on every record. There's a line on there that was a little harsh. It's a harsh line... But it's like this, the way I look at it. I had no idea he was going to take it like he took it. I had no idea Nick Cannon was going to start wildin' out on me.

"I heard about some of the things he was saying. I didn't read his blog or anything. But it is what it is. He's supposed to defend his wife, and I expected him to do that. But at the end of the day, it's a line I said. It's a song. What I actually meant to say is, I wish them the best. That's what I meant to say. That's the whole message of the record."

Hahahahahaha! Eminem wishes you well when he calls you a f*ckin' whore? And some women say there aren't any good straight men left these days.

Eminem talks about Mariah Carey in his song "Bagpipes From Baghdad" on his new album, Relapse. Nick Cannon has fired back in a 2-page rant about Eminem that I didn't have the stomach to go through. I only skimmed it and read Nick type something like, "What if someone made fun of Michelle Obama." Nick is SO deep. Also, people DO make fun of Michelle Obama. Try again, f*cktard.

Nick's gotta protect his ATM machine so he goes off on Slim Shady. Eminem is the one who sounds like an idiot for lusting after a married idiot diva like Mariah.

"Mariah whatever happened to us," he raps. "Why did we ever have to break-up?" He then turns his sights on Cannon, who married Carey last year. Nick Cannon, you better back the f--- up," he raps. "I'm not playing, I want her back, you punk." It soon gets worse, when Eminem raps, "I wish you luck with that ... wh---"

Excerpt from Nick Cannon's blog:

Homeboy is still obsessed with my wife, the same female that wouldn’t let him get to second base from 8 years ago! He even describes his desperate lameness in this bad excuse for storytelling track. That’s some real middle school shit right there! (What type of grown ass man lies about getting with a chick) Only Slim Lamey!

Eminem is one of the few men that I can think of, famous or not, who do not know how to let anything go. It's really sad. Eminem recently confessed that he was addicted to pills; it's painfully obvious that he was poppin' all the wrong ones!

The duo were spotted at a Japanese restaurant in New York earlier this week in NYE mode or drunk mode; they're still celebrating the new year.

The angle of Mariah's pose looks awkward cause you know she's sucking it in. Mimi must be uncomfy and possibly stuffed, but she has to wear tight clothes or her blood pressure will spike. Nick on the other hand isn't so stiff and he's loving life by his suga mama's side.

I can't even fathom the deep conversations Mariah must have at a dinner, good lord. Gucci. Prada. Louis. Butterflies. Makeup. Jewelry. Purses. Heels.

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