Introducing Megan Fox as the new ho for Emporio Armani! She's taking over Victoria Beckham's spot as a fashion pantie queen.

In almost every photo it seems like I'm looking up her nose, but it's not like the men would notice even if she had a snot rocket hanging out of it. Half the men looking at this post aren't actually reading it. They're getting ready to make their way to the bathroom to make water babies.

I haven't mentioned anything about Megan Fox in the past week, so I thought I'd give you your fix. I realize that for some of you going a day without Megan news is like going an eternity without water.

Megan recently said she does a vinegar detox.  Health experts are putting the smack down on claims, saying that vinegar doesn't do sh*t to cleanse the system, but it's definitely tasty on fish sticks. Alright, I threw the last part in myself, and I prefer lemon juice over vinegar.

Megan said she does the cleanse "cause I'm lazy and I have a really big sweet tooth, so I have to do cleanses every once in a while."  But dietitian Lucy Jones admits there's no benefit in drinking vinegar for detoxification.

"As attractive as it sounds, there is no magic pill, lotion, or potion for a quick fix to weight loss. The body, including the liver, is a well-oiled detoxing machine, which will not be improved by vinegar, whether it be organic, apple cider, unfiltered, or your bog-standard malt vinegar."

The moral of the story is that vinegar and water is fine to use if you've gotta clean your vag, but it's not going to help you lose weight. Shout out to Massengill floral scented douche! 

Megan Fox talks about her sex drive, her alleged former lesbian stripper ex-girlfriend, and her comfort in her overt sexuality, yet she wants to explain that she's not a slut.

Well, I never called Megan a slut cause it's obvious to me that she's a poser. True whores don't wave their panties in your face and tell you who took 'em off. Megan tells the New York Times,

"Girls think I'm a slut. I've been in the same relationship since I was 18.

"If they think you're attractive, you're either stupid or a whore or a dumb whore. The instinct among girls is to attack the jugular. All women in Hollywood are known as sex symbols. You're sold, and it's based on sex. That's O.K., if you know how to use it."

Personally I like hot chicks, so I could care less that Megan is beautiful. Some of the name calling could stem from her not bringing anything to the table except flaming piles of manure and self-loathing bitch fests.

If you persistently try to shove your sexuality down my throat, then hells yeah, I'm gonna call you a slut cause that's obviously the image that you're trying to go for. Consider it a favor.

... Just cheking. Megan Fox is promoting Jennifer's Body in Europe and she had an interview with UK publication 'The Telegraph' where she continues to say ridiculous things. Megan Fox tries way too hard. She tries to be deep, she tries to be sexy by talking about sex all the time, and she's also a worry wart.

On all her verbal diarrhea:

“I sometimes forget how things will translate once they are in print. But this is a bull—- industry and I made a decision not to be a bull—- person. I need to hold onto my soul and my integrity and I can’t compromise that.”

On the differences between public perception of sexuality in the States vs. Europe:

"Our society is still very tied to archaic biblical principles that we try to force on each other and force on our children. In Europe, women are celebrated for their sexuality and appreciated for it. There you can still be both sexy and intelligent.”

On her has been boyfriend for the past five years, Brian Austin Green:

"You don’t come across a lot of genuine people in this industry and I feel blessed to have someone who will stick around through my bull—-"

On what she aspires to accomplish as a role model:

“I just really want it at some point to be OK for women and young girls to be sexy because I think that’s a power, a gift that we were given by God or the universe or whatever. I think I’m a different kind of role model for young girls.”

Megan Fox thinks there is no life beyond Brian Austin Green cause he sticks around through her bullsh*t? You mean, he sticks around through her rising career? Who wouldn't! She's so co-dependently tragic, she sounds like Kim Kardashian.

And WHEN YOU LOOK LIKE MEGAN FOX, feeling and/or being sexy can be easier than if you were one of the many Plain Janes or overweight "women and young girls." Being sexy is "a power, a gift" which was given to this b*tch cause she has good genes.... Actually, I think I have to agree with Megan. Brian Austin Green must put up with plenty of bullsh*t. 

Megan Fox frequently puts her foot in her mouth, and now she's trying to back track. The sexy Transformers star accepted the sci-fi actress award at Spike TV's 4th annual Scream Awards over the weekend and she managed to be more gracious than obnoxious.

Megan said,

"I wanted to say something... The movie took me out of obscurity and gave me a career, and I'm completely grateful to everyone involved with this franchise."

Did she hire a new publicist or what? Shiiiitt.

Director Michael Bay also reciprocated and has posted an online forum entry saying, "Megan Fox, welcome back."

Transformers 3 will hit theatres July 1, 2010. The franchise is an unstoppable machine. Good job, Megan! :)

If Michael Bay or script writers need any ideas on how Megan Fox should be finished off in Transformers 3, I'm offering my services free of charge.

Megan has sh*t talked about director Michael Bay on numerous occasions cause she's socially retarded like that. Transformers put the self-professed tranny on the map, and now In Touch Weekly is reporting that movie insiders are saying Megan's end may be in sight.

“Michael’s pretty much discovered Megan and now he’s very quietly looking for her replacement. He hasn’t decided if he’s going to kill her off in the next movie, but he just wants to be prepared.”

If the death scene does materialize, Megan will be killed off just minutes into the film! Happy Tuesday.

Have you had your fill of Megan Fox lately? She's been on the cover of pretty much every magazine lately except for Dog Fancy, and if she gets the cover of that, the world has gone to sh*t.

In the latest issue of Nylon magazine, Megan talks about her magazine cover domination.

"I think that I'm really overexposed. I was part of a movie that [the studio] wanted to make sure would make $700 million, so they over saturated the media with their stars, I don't want to be in magazines every week and on the Internet everyday. I don't want to have people get completely sick of me before I've ever even done something legitimate."

I couldn't have said it better myself! She really hasn't done anything except look hot in editorials with those flared nostrils. When you're not making $12 million a movie with your amazing acting, I guess getting a chunk of change from doing photo shoots is what you have to resort to. What a horrible life.

I'm ready to start a Megan Fox Anonymous group cause I'm starting to twitch every time I see a new pictorial, or hear another interview with her.

Megan Fox is the woman that I dislike for a few simple reasons: She says ridiculous things to get attention, she tries too hard to be sexy, she dissed Scarlett Johansson, her boyfriend is a loser, and two of my boyfriends have had crushes on her. The woman is pure evil!

But I'm beginning to like Ms. Fox because she manipulates the media brilliantly and she has a lot of fun while doing so. Megan said,

"I developed that (a fear of flying) when I turned 20. All of a sudden I got really afraid to get on airplanes. I had to come up with a way to deal with it because I didn't want to have panic attacks every time I get on a plane.

I know for a fact it's not in my destiny to die listening to a Britney Spears album, so I always put that on in my (headphones) when I'm flying because I know it wont crash if I've got Britney on."

Btw, Megan is allegedly 23 years old now. Her movie Jennifer's Body bombed at the box office this weekend, ranking at #5 and pulling in only $6.8 million. As far as Megan's quote goes, it's gold. I don't even need to touch it.

Megan Fox is cookin' up some bacon in this photo from Rolling Stone magazine.

This is definitely how I make breakfast at my house, all sprawled out on the kitchen counter with pig grease popping in my face. Bacon grease is a great lube and it tastes good too! Hell, I don't know if she's making bacon, but I'm hungry and that's what is on my mind. Still, I do cook like she does on the counter top. Ha!

Note to any man who dates Megan Fox: If you piss her off, you better sleep with one eye open.

In an interview with Rolling Stone magazine, Megan confesses that she has some anger issues and had even threatened to kill her ex-boyfriend, Brian Austin Green.

"I've had to say to Brian, 'You have to go and stop talking to me, because I'm going to kill you. I'm going to stab you with something, please leave,' " she claims. "I'd never own a gun for that reason," says la femme dangereuse. "I wouldn't shoot to kill. But I would shoot him in the leg, for sure."

I've learned in my own experiences that telling someone 'I'll f*cking stab you' definitely gets your point across better than calling them a d*ck. If Brian's ever found dead, we know who to question first!