MTV is not impressed with pregnant Snooki and sober recovering addict Mike Sorrentino f*cking  up Jersey Shore, so they're reportedly casting two people to replace 'em. The people who run MTV's most popular series are buggin' out right now because they're concerned that the show will lose its edge.

Looking Cocky

495 Productions is casting two new castmates and "plans to limit Snooki and The Situation's roles on the new season -- giving new cast members more screen time instead."

I LOVE IT!

Snooki thought that getting knocked up would help her career, and I have my doubts about whether Mike went to rehab for damage control purposes. Considering how shady he is, it makes you wonder about how genuine he is.

There's no way that the Shore House can turn into Sober House and sustain its viewership, so this is a must. I'm just shocked that MTV is still trying to run this show. They're tryna make it the new Real World.

Lately, the off-camera lives of the Jersey Shore cast have been far more dramatic than anything that happens on the show, but because it mainly exists to squeeze every cent possible out of played-out ideas (Beavis & Butthead? Punk'd? Really?) MTV still rounded up the guidos to discuss the televisual Ambien that was season five. Host Amy Paffrath was apparently unaware that most people tuning into the reunion special actually watch Shore on a regular basis so she referred to season five as "the craziest yet." Amy, the only crazy thing is that this show got picked up for a sixth season.

Paffrath kicked off the clip fest by reminding us that the Shore kids "picked up right where they left off" in Seaside, which was a huge part of the problem. "It felt good to fall down and pee in bushes," said Snooki, and then the guys talked about how much they missed their GTL sessions in Italy for the 5 millionth time. Then, (Finally!) things got interesting when The Situation and Snooki (or Cokey and Preggo, as I call them) were pulled aside to discuss their still-unresolved cheating scandal.

"If I was that horny, I would go in my room and masturbate," says Snooks about the prospect of sex with The Sitch. Mike and Nicole engaged in their usual he said/she said routine, and the whole thing remained unsettled, eventually leading Ronnie to echo the sentiments of the audience by screaming, "Who the f*ck cares?!" Snooki actually offered an interesting defense by claiming that Mike likes to stir up drama but doesn't want to be hated, so he chose to start sh!t with the roommate he thought was most likely to forgive. Good theory, but I still think she banged him.

Clips of Mike's drunken emotional outburst have an added poignancy now that he's admitted to a substance abuse problem, but a montage of The Sitch's douchiest season five moments made it really difficult to feel bad for the dude. "You're worried about being the good guy or being the bad guy...Just be yourself," Snooki said to him, unwittingly hitting on one of the major problems with Shore. At this point, everyone has settled into their respective roles (JWoww's the mom; Snooki's the drunk; Pauly and Deena are comic relief) and as a result, it's slowly become one of the most predictable shows on TV. And it looks like it's not just the audience that's fed up with it...

After initially denying reports that he had checked himself into rehab for substance abuse issues, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino came clean on his Facebook page last night.

"I have voluntarily taken steps to get control of a prescription medication problem I had due to exhaustion," The Sitch wrote in a status update. He went on to say that he has been receiving treatment for several weeks.

No word on why Mike decided to clear the air after initially denying that he had a problem. There are still rumors that Mike is suffering from a wide range of addictions, and TMZ reports that he's being treated for alcoholism in addition to prescription drug abuse. So it looks like Mike will be keeping it sober if he makes it to Seaside for season six. Sober Situation and pregnant Snooki...should be a fun season!

(Photo: WENN)

In a move that may not surprise many, Jersey Shore's resident villain, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino has checked himself into rehab, reportedly for substance abuse.

Naturally, Mike's reps are claiming that the Sitch is merely in need of "rest and recuperation," though a drug problem would explain some of Mike's bizarre behavior over the past five seasons as well as give credence to long-standing blind item rumors claiming that "someone" on the Jersey Shore cast has a serious taste for the nose candy. TMZ reports that Mike's life has been a "non-stop party" since rising to fame on Shore. Season five of the popular series saw Mike's best friend "The Unit" getting arrested for cocaine possession while The Sitch himself looked on in sweaty, dazed confusion.

Of course, some are speculating that this could be a desperate bid for attention from Mike who may be in fear of his 15 minutes running out. He's the most high-profile Shore cast member to not get a spin-off show and he's been further pushed to the margins by the pregnancy of his pint-sized rival Snooki. Rehab may just be Mike's way of taking his notorious temper tantrums to a new level.

(Photo: WENN)

Talk about putting the nail in the coffin on one of the most successful reality shows in history! MTV will begin filming Jersey Shore season 6 this summer in Seaside Heights, New Jersey. All of the housemates will return for "their home-away-from-home, and the house dynamic is headed into unchartered territory…as their lives outside the “Shore” take off in exciting new directions," according to MTV's publicity department.

The network claims that the cast's "trademark hilarity and family dysfunction will remain the same." Are you also confused?! So the Jersey Shore castmates' lives are taking off "in exciting new directions" yet things in the house "will remain the same"? MTV wishes.

MTV execs need to figure out how to make this show interesting again. They need to hire scriptwriters, they should add a new housemate, stop sending the cast to Karma every single night... or they could just cancel the show right now! We don't need season 6. I don't like anyone in the cast anymore and I really can't stand that these millionaires "work" at a T-shirt store for a living! MTV doesn't think very highly of its viewers.

The show is too stupid to make any sense now. I'll just DVR it so that I can see the pregnant midget sex Snooki will still engage in with her gay fiance Jionni during her third trimester, just like Jessica Simpson does with her unlucky dude.

I never thought I'd say this, but thank God Snooki is pregnant. If that midget liquor sponge hadn't gotten knocked up, there would be literally nothing interesting going on with the cast of Jersey Shore, and I say this with one episode left in the season - a time when the drama and shenanigans are usually at their peak. The only compelling storyline since the cast returned from Italy -  Mike's douche-tastic attempt to ruin Snooki's relationship - looked like it was gonna come to a head at the beginning of last night's episode, but even that fizzled out quickly.

The Situation confessed (a little too eagerly) to Jionni that he banged Nicole while she and Jionni were dating. Jionni responded by...shaking his hand and thanking him for his honesty?! What kind of guido is this dude?! Where's the hot-tempered jealousy?! Jionni then climbs into bed with Snooki and reveals that he doesn't believe Mike's story, which makes him even more of a pussy for smiling in the face of the guy who he thinks is slandering his girlfriend for no reason. Fortunately, Snooki still has some balls and she responds to Mike's rampant dickishness like only she could - by throwing pickles at the dude.

"I think Jionni took the news so well because he knows Snooki's hooking up. He's doing the same thing," Pauly D theorized, ignoring the fact that Jionni is an obvious closet case. Snooki, of course, has a different take on the situation. "Jionni and I are getting married, I feel, when he proposes," says Snooks. "I don't when that is, but he better do it, like, within the future." Sounds like a girl with a plan...and possibly a serious learning disorder.

Because the producers are well aware of how boring this season has been, Snooki then proposes a camping trip like she's reading from a cue card and then there's a food fight, for some reason. Fortunately, what starts with a little innocent hot dog flinging turns into a serious condiment war between Snooki and The Sitch...because that's how grown-ups settle disputes. Did I mention they were sober at the time? And don't forget these two are about to head off into the woods together. What could go wrong?

Jionni LaValle either honestly believes that Snooki didn't cheat on him with The Situation, or he doesn't care. Mike Sorrentino was on a campaign to break Snooki and Jionni up for months, but it obviously didn't work. In order to break someone up with a "Your girl was with me last night" story, you have to get the person that you're telling to care. Jionni reposted the following update that he originally posted weeks ago on Twitter.

Today, Jionni posted this:

So there you have it! According to Jionni, Mike Sorrentino is not a REAL man because Jionni's midget overweight a*s would have totally beat the sh!t out of Mike, worse than the wall in Italy did, if MTV cameras weren't rolling. And apparently The Situation is "paid to start drama," which means that Snooki is telling the truf?! Once again, Jionni does not care if Nicole cheats on him. He already got her pregnant and he's about to wife her up minus a pre-nup (just you wait and see), so you can't blame him for sticking to his master plan.

Wasted, half-naked, and hitting on one of her roommates  - that's the image that the future husband and child of the newly pregnant/engaged Snooki will have to shake if they're gonna try and make a go at this whole "family" thing. So they may never wanna watch the beginning of last night's Jersey Shore...or any episode of Jersey Shore, for that matter. Fortunately for Jionni and the fetal Jionni Jr., Snooks went too hard too early in her attempt to get it in with Vinny and ended up passing out instead of her joining her roommates at Jenks. But an even better trainwreck showed up on the scene: Angelina! Sadly, no one got wasted enough to bring her home.

The next morning, The Situation tips a delivery guy with protein powder (what a guy) while JWoww prepares for her and Roger's one-year anniversary by hitting the sex shop for various flavored creams and latex items. Things get even classier, when Sitch, Snooki and Ron dump a liter of Southern Comfort into a water bottle and head to work at the Shore Store. You can guess how that turned out...with Mike putting in his hardest day's work ever? Wtf is up with this season?!

Fortunately, some drama begins to take shape when The Sitch calls The Unit to arrange another attempt to destroy Snooki's relationship. Speaking of sabotage, Vinny and Pauly D take issue with Jenni's plan to "decorate the smush room with rose petals and bondage equipment" and decide to throw the smush room mattress on the porch (without hazmat gear). Amazingly, Jenni is actually a good sport about it and Paul and Vinny don't instantly break out in full-body herpes sores.

Roger comes into town, everyone makes fun of Vinny's ridiculous denim blouse and then the whole crew heads to Karma...but not before The Situation promises a night full of serious drama. "It's been a little too calm lately," Mike says, apparently reading the minds of everyone who's been watching this season. "Sit back, grab your popcorn and watch." The Unit arrives at Karma for operation Ruin Snooki's Life (as if she can't handle that on her own) and to make things worse, Jionni's parents are in the club for some reason. Maybe this entire boring season has been leading up to this earth-shattering blow-out (I mean a fight, not a haircut). Nothing against Snooki, but God I hope so...

Mike Sorrentino's better looking twin brother from another mother, Jonny "The Unit" Manfre is coming to his bestie's defense. Everyone in the Jersey Shore house hates Mike and fans of the show are not impressed with his psychotic antics this season, and every season before this one.

Looking just like The Situation, only better looking!

The Unit spoke to The Huffington Post about The Situation, and he says that he really isn't that bad IRL.

“He’s a guy with a huge heart. He’s super generous...He’s a lot smarter than a lot of people probably think he is.”

Mikey has been trying to break Snooki and Jionni up this season, and we all know what a success that was considering that she's knocked up and allegedly engaged!

The Unit continued: “He always stirs something up because it’s good TV, really.”

Roger loves to fight. When he's not beefin' with JWoww for seemingly no reason, he's throwing down with random club d-bags at Karma. Somehow the thick-necked 'roid case manages to scuffle without taking any lives (it helps to have an MTV security team just off camera) and everybody leaves the club unscathed and un-cuffed. Snooki is (as always) excited to "touch Jionni's weiner" but the combination of one too many cosmos and the thought of having sex with Snooki has the closet-case guido blowing chunks (thanks for the audio on that, producers). "I wanna have sex right now. Why the f*ck are you throwing up?" says the ultra-compassionate Nicole. I don't know what's more impressive, her way with words or her tender bedside manner.

Because he's an actual heterosexual man, Roger has a somewhat decent reason for blowing off his girlfriend - opting to pound drinks and chicken salad sandwiches instead of smushing. This guy actually seems cool and I'm hoping both he and Jenni's hooker boots will make plenty of cameos in the upcoming JWoww/Snooki spinoff. Further proving that they own the only testicles in the Shore house, the ladies suggest a fishing/crabbing trip the next morning. After many crab-based one-liners ("I caught crabs!" and the slightly more clever "Crabs are here!")  the guidos actually make a decent showing  - until Snooki and Deena decide to try their hand at rafting.

"Arms are flapping; there's meatball sauce flying everywhere," says Ronnie in what could serve as an accurate description of the boating adventure or any of Deena's recent smush sessions. Some onlookers try to warn the Meatballs to keep their inflatable raft away from sharp objects. Deena thinks they're saying "shark" and hilariously freaks out over the prospect of a deadly great white lurking in three feet of murky Jersey piss-water. Snooki, meanwhile is mainly concerned with holding onto her booze and extensions. "Your eyelashes are floating in the Pacific, as we speak," she chides Deena, while showing off her impressive knowledge of geography.

After failing to bring home any DIY seafood, it's time for the Shore Store and another run-in with Pauly D's stalker. "She stares right at me with this death look that I can feel burning a hole through my head...and it's messing with my blowout." I'll repeat my prediction that we're gonna see this chick on the news very soon. Speaking of stalkers, Mike grills Snooki about her relationship with Jionni and seems surprised when she says she wants to marry him. "When someone says at the wedding, 'Does anyone object?' Can I run in the room?" Mike asks. At least he knows he won't be invited. Minutes later, Snooks describes her relationship as "definitely unhealthy," which makes the news of her recent engagement a little troubling.