Mike Sorrentino is pulling a Kevin Federline and I do not approve! But as long as my future hook up is making money and he's happy, I guess that's okay.

With a body like that, Mike should be focusing on fitness related products, and some hair products, and condoms! But creating music when you suck only works for hot chicks who can distract people with their boobs, and said hot chicks have to be likable. Big fake breasts didn't work for Heidi Montag. Her debut sold 658 copies in its debut week and The Situation's fan base is possibly largely comprised of horny chicks and horny chicks don't buy crap songs; they have their men download pop records and hip hop tracks.

Click HERE to listen to Mike's song

Mike Sorrentino didn't actually talk to me, but he stood next to me and spoke, lol. I like going with the 'talks to pop on the pop' headline, as you may have noticed. I didn't talk to The Situation because he was being pulled away as I was trying to talk to him. This was actually a good thing. I have a crush on Mike Sorrentino and I'm confident that I would have geeked out!

The cameraman next to me said, "I hate to say it, but I really like The Situation. He's a really nice, cool guy. I wanna drink beer with him at a bar." The Jersey Shore cast - with the exception of Sammi (who's shy which makes her seem like a snob) and Ronnie (he comes across like the a-hole idiot he is on the show) - the Jersey Shore kids are really nice and they're likable and honest. I'm happy for their success. They genuinely seem like nice people.

These photos would be so hot if John Mayer's pale butt wasn't in them. It doesn't help that he's pushing out his gut and looks like he hasn't showered in a few days.

John hammed it up with Mike Sorrentino at the CMT Music Awards last night by showing off their fabulous guts. Are the Calvin Klein drawers and hint to CK that Mike wants be their next underwear model? I hope they didn't have sex together because next thing you know we'll be hearing how sex with The Situation being like sexual napalm.

I seriously want to hire The Situation to be a human buffet at my wedding. I think guys would enjoy picking up sushi off of his six pack. Alright maybe not, but the chicks would dig it!

If I ever hooked up with Mike Sorrentino, aka The Situation, I would leave covered in hair gel and sunscreen from head to toe, but it would be worth it. Those abs and arms are lovely and sometimes that's all it takes for me considering that my standards are real high. Penis: Check. Not a midget: Check.

Mike, Jenni "J-Woww" Farley, Vinny, and that annoying Angelina chick were spotted at the beach in Miami again. It looks like Mike was really nice to one of his female fans who approached him. He may have taken her back to the crib if she didn't have any grenades with her. I am so ready for season 2 of Jersey Shore even though these tools don't represent Italianos. They're not even molto bello and I doubt any of 'em can speak Italian. Eh! What am I, a wise guy or sumthin? Fuggedaboutit.

I can't figure out whether or not I'd bang Mike Sorrentino, aka Jersey Shore cast member "The Situation."

His body is amazing, his smile is cute, but his attitude sucks and I'd wanna smack the crap outta him. Hmmm... I feel like I'd definitely bang him if I had enough alcohol running through my veins, and by 'enough,' I mean not a drop of it cause you know I don't need shiz to get my jizz on.

The Situation looked pretty damn good on the Jersey Shore reunion, but I have a feeling that he sucks in bed. He does seem teachable though, and for that reason, I say... I still don't know. But I do know that he looks good with his shirt off. Enjoy.

Snooki, The Situation, and the rest of the gang may be in Miami now, but they're heading back to New Jersey! According to MTV, the crew will head back up north when the weather heats up.

"It's official, the 'Jersey Shore' cast began filming Season 2 in Miami. Once the boardwalk heats back up, the series will return to the Jersey Shore to complete the season."

Miami residents are rejoicing since the cast won't be down there long enough for Snooki to get b*tch smacked by a dude, or for Mike Sorrentino to infect a few ladies with 'GTL' syndrome. They may leave a few hair grease spots on the dance floor, though. It was stupid to send them down to Miami in the first place. They can't be their Guido selves when they're totally out of their element.

Mike Sorrentino aka 'The Situation' hit the jackpot in a photo shoot for Interview magazine. The Jersey Shore guido was lucky enough to have Bar Refaeli sitting half naked on his shoulders and I wanna know if she asked to get extra cash to remove the excess hair gel off her bikini when it was over.

Who the hell is Bar Refaeli? If you're one of the few who don't know, it's Leonardo DiCaprio's current girlfriend. I'm not sure why he would be pumping iron when he's got a sexy model sitting on his shoulders. He's probably trying to get his muscles to pulsate for the pics.

Mike posted these pictures on his Facebook page and I can't wait to see the entire spread when this issue of Interview is released.

During various episodes of MTV's Jersey Shore, Mike Sorrentino, aka The Situation, was always trying to "creep on some guuurlz." He wanted to take various women back to the Jersey Shore house and "hook up" with them, if there was no grenade, of course.

The hot tub was one of the best spots in the house to get freaky so The View's Joy Behar asked: "There's a lot of sex on the show. Do you use condoms?"

Mike said, "I'm Italian... and I do use protection as well." Snooki and Pauly D also said they use condoms.

Behar followed up by asking if safe sex extends to the hot tub and Sherri Shepherd suggested it was unnecessary because "hot water kills all the sperm."

"It's really hot water," the Situation agreed. "It takes care of business."

Jersey Shore on The View

Sources say Jenni J-Woww Farley and Ronnie have agreed to the $10,000 per episode paycheck, but some of the other cast members are holding out for more. They could make the show better if they found more short Jersey Guidos and Guidettes like Snooki and just call it the 'Jersey Shorts.'

"The network is drawing a hard line at the close of business tomorrow -- the rest of the cast members must either accept the offer or MTV replaces them."

It's the Jersey Shore! MTV can find other orange-tanned, stiff-haired, fist pumping, Jersey attention whores to replace whoever doesn't agree with the $10K agreement. As long as Nicole Snooki Polizzi's plump drunk as* sticks around for the second season, I don't care what the rest of the cast decides to do. On a sidenote:

WOULD YOU WANNA SEE SNOOKI NAKED?

Not so fast, all. It's not time for the fist pumps just yet. The cast of Jersey Shore is standing in solidarity, demanding pay raises from MTV.

MTV's initial offer was a $10,000 signing bonus and $5,000 per episode. The cast refused to sign on the dotted line for that price. Then the network offered the cast $10,000 per episode. There are 12 episodes in the new season, so that's not bad, right? Wrong. So far the cast has yet to respond.

MTV says that it already has replacements if Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Pauly D, The Situation, Jenni "J-Woww" Farley and the others don't accept the offer. Any of the original cast members that accept the money will remain, those that don't will set sail from the Shore.

The Situation and Pauly D are being the biggest divas about it, which is great! Pauly D doesn't add much and there are plenty of douches everywhere. Mike Sorrentino can easily be replaced. A few episodes into one season is not enough to make a very wealthy and greedy network fold for these tools. Besides, MTV will be saving plenty of money on pickles once Snooki's outta their house.