Nick Cannon
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Mariah Carey was on SIRIUS XM's Morning Mash Up radio show this morning where she talked about having a baby.

MiMi and Nick Cannon have already picked out their baby names "a long time ago." Mariah said, "We have to keep the name secret because if we told everybody, then somebody might use it and then we have to change it."

When asked for the secret to a happy marriage, Nick Cannon said, "Lots of sex!"

Carey agreed that, "of course," sex is vital to their relationship, but "I'm shy. I don't say things like that. That's where he comes in."

I can't even picture these two having sex of any kind anyway. The only images I can conjure up is Mariah butt nekkid sprawled out on some butterfly sheets in full makeup and weaves as Nick jacks in a cup cause she doesn't want him staining the sheets. A princess can't afford to mess up her hair or bust up her vocal chords screaming during some sexual act, can she?

I can respect Eminem's talent, but the man child has got issues. In Eminem's new song "Bagpipes From Baghdad," an angry rant in which Slim Shady begs for Mariah Carey back and disses Nick Cannon, Eminem says, "Nick Cannon better back...up. I'm not playing, I want her back, you punk" and "Nick Cannon, you pr---, I wish you luck with that f---in' whore."

Nick then responded with some extremely lengthy blog rant. Nick claims that Eminem's song is "an act of racist bigotry." Nick's so damn cute when he attempts to be sensical. Awww.

Eminem talked to BBC Radio about his stupid track, saying,

"With the song, I kind of spazzed out on that record, but I guess I spazzed out on every record. There's a line on there that was a little harsh. It's a harsh line... But it's like this, the way I look at it. I had no idea he was going to take it like he took it. I had no idea Nick Cannon was going to start wildin' out on me.

"I heard about some of the things he was saying. I didn't read his blog or anything. But it is what it is. He's supposed to defend his wife, and I expected him to do that. But at the end of the day, it's a line I said. It's a song. What I actually meant to say is, I wish them the best. That's what I meant to say. That's the whole message of the record."

Hahahahahaha! Eminem wishes you well when he calls you a f*ckin' whore? And some women say there aren't any good straight men left these days.

Eminem talks about Mariah Carey in his song "Bagpipes From Baghdad" on his new album, Relapse. Nick Cannon has fired back in a 2-page rant about Eminem that I didn't have the stomach to go through. I only skimmed it and read Nick type something like, "What if someone made fun of Michelle Obama." Nick is SO deep. Also, people DO make fun of Michelle Obama. Try again, f*cktard.

Nick's gotta protect his ATM machine so he goes off on Slim Shady. Eminem is the one who sounds like an idiot for lusting after a married idiot diva like Mariah.

"Mariah whatever happened to us," he raps. "Why did we ever have to break-up?" He then turns his sights on Cannon, who married Carey last year. Nick Cannon, you better back the f--- up," he raps. "I'm not playing, I want her back, you punk." It soon gets worse, when Eminem raps, "I wish you luck with that ... wh---"

Excerpt from Nick Cannon's blog:

Homeboy is still obsessed with my wife, the same female that wouldn’t let him get to second base from 8 years ago! He even describes his desperate lameness in this bad excuse for storytelling track. That’s some real middle school shit right there! (What type of grown ass man lies about getting with a chick) Only Slim Lamey!

Eminem is one of the few men that I can think of, famous or not, who do not know how to let anything go. It's really sad. Eminem recently confessed that he was addicted to pills; it's painfully obvious that he was poppin' all the wrong ones!

The duo were spotted at a Japanese restaurant in New York earlier this week in NYE mode or drunk mode; they're still celebrating the new year.

The angle of Mariah's pose looks awkward cause you know she's sucking it in. Mimi must be uncomfy and possibly stuffed, but she has to wear tight clothes or her blood pressure will spike. Nick on the other hand isn't so stiff and he's loving life by his suga mama's side.

I can't even fathom the deep conversations Mariah must have at a dinner, good lord. Gucci. Prada. Louis. Butterflies. Makeup. Jewelry. Purses. Heels.

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Mariah Carey is still not pregnant.

The singer was spotted sipping red wine and eating oysters -- no-nos when expecting -- in St. Barts on Tuesday. Carey also showed off her bikini bod as she toasted wine with her husband Nick Cannon at hot spot Nikki Beach.

But kids could still be in the couple's future.

"I couldn't imagine anybody that I've ever met being a better dad [than Cannon]," she said earlier this year.

Awwww! I want Mariah to get knocked up soon with a daughter because that baby will be one hell of a diva with diamond encrusted diapers. I also want her to get knocked up because she's the new J.Lo, we'll be hearing about how much she wants kids every month until it happens. Help!

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You know how pretty much everyone with functioning brain cells wondered why Mariah and Nick got hitched in such a hurry? It's because they didn't have sex yet; Mimi was waiting for her wedding night to put out.

The pair dated for two months before getting married in April and Carey said sealing the deal on their wedding night was worth the wait.

Mariah said,

"It's not that we had no intimacy, we just didn't have complete intimacy. We both have similar beliefs, and I just thought that it would be so much more special if we waited until after we were married. And it was."

Mariah thinks her pussy is encrusted with diamonds, glitter and butterflies and she was tryna figure out if Nick was worth it first; and in case you didn't know, Mimi's vadge sings too. It's an enchanted place that only a few men are ever granted entrance.

I can't imagine why a grown ass woman would tie the knot before getting laid. Nick must have some kind of turbo tongue that's better than a pastry mixer.

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You know 19 of them bags belong to Mariah. To anyone who thinks Mariah and Nick may not last - they will! Mariah is as rich as they cum and Nick knows that it doesn't get any better than this.

Mariah Carey arrived in London for a three-night stay today… accompanied by 20 suitcases.

The singer and her husband Nick Cannon needed two huge trolleys to carry their bags. Porters pushing them through Heathrow airport seemed bemused by their haul.

This week on the X Factor all the contestants will be performing a Mariah ballad - with the soul singer on hand to instruct them.

I don't even think Mariah packs any of her own shit. She probably doesn't make a list of what she wants either, instead she sits in her room and screams out on an intercom what she wants in her bags, sends her bitches out on a scavenger hunt, and fires the one who takes too long to pack a bag. Hurry, hurry, snap snap.

So, uh, Nick Cannon's a firefighter, and Mimi's a five dollar an hour firefighter hooker. Get it. But was an entire truck used as a prop for their costumes? And if so, where can I get one?  I think it'd come in handy for road trips and whenever I'm running late.

He may have been working as a DJ on his 28th birthday, but at least Nick Cannon has wife Mariah Carey by his side. The pop diva fetes her hubby with a cake Tuesday during a celebratory night out at Las Vegas hotspot Pure Nightclub.

The position of Nick's hand near Mariah's hip illustrates his love of having the woman on top during sex. He enjoys holding on and moving Mariah around so much, he sometimes forgets they're not in the bedroom.

Mariah's slightly protruding elbow means he's not getting any tonight and she's insecure about their future.

On a sidenote: Nick Cannon is enjoying all the backstage food he's now that he's married to a world icon, keeping his jacket open to hide the extra baggage ... and wtfug is Mariah wearing?