Anyone who watches Jersey Shore knows that Snooki is a fan of the ladies when she's drunk (so always). But the stubby guidette confessed in an interview yesterday that she dabbles in vadge even on those rare occasions when she doesn't have a liter of tequila sloshing around inside her.

"Yes, I would consider myself bi. I've done stuff with girls before," Snooki said when asked by Huffington Post about her sexuality. She went on to make some admirable comments about her support for the gay community, confessing that she gets along better with gay men than with women or straight dudes. It's a surprising remark given the sort of homophobia that's usually associated with the guido community.

In case you were worried that Snook's fondness for swimming in the lady pool may have jeopardized her relationship with the prudish Jionni LaValle, a quick glance at her Twitter feed should put your mind at ease. In the past 24 hours, Snooks has issued the usual 4 or 5 tweets assuring the world that she's still with her man and offering to help fans find their own gorilla juicehead. Hey, it makes sense...she did say she gets along better with gay men. Zing!

It was only weeks ago when Snooki promised that she would be getting her bubes done in the near future. Nicole Polizzi told E! that she will be going to JWoww's plastic surgeon to get herself some new girls.

When asked when the unnecessary superficial procedure would happen, at least that's how I'd phrase the question, Snooki said: "Very soon. I hope in the next couple of months." As far as why she wants to get knifed up to begin with, Snooks explained that she wants her boobs to be perky "when I'm not wearing a bra."

Nicole was pap'd yesterday, the photo is above, and her cups runneth over. Are her breasts naturally that big, or did she already get the surgery that she promised to get "very soon"?

Snooki's boobs have always been huge, so it's hard to tell. BUT, if she didn't get her implants already, she clearly does not need bigger boobs. If anything, she needs a breast reduction.

Saying "shocking" things is Snooki's schtick and it has worked thus far, so there's no need for her to stop now. Snickers appeared on Watch What Happens Live with JWoww last night and she discussed what led her to urinate in the backyard on last night's episode. Snooki had to pee quickly because, during the episode, she said that she had a urinary tract infection.

When host Andy Cohen asked Snooki: "And that was what it was? UTI?"

She replied: "Yeah, I think it was from, like, butt sex or something."

Now I'm not implying that a man who has anal sex is gay, but I am implying that Jionni LaValle is gay!

"I got my boyfriend back," came the triumphant shout from Pauly D at the start of last night's Jersey Shore. "I got the smush room tonight!" And with that, the gay innuendo between Pauly and Vinny went from playful joke between friends to two passionate guidos outing themselves in front of a national TV audience. But the leathery lovers managed to keep their hands of one another long enough to hit the club with their roommates in celebration of Vin's return to the house. As a reminder of what he was missing out on her, Snooki literally peed herself in public. Welcome home, bro!

The hard times continue for Team Meatball the next morning, as Deena gives herself an electric shock trying to repair yet another extension mishap (What the hell is this chick doing to her hair at the club?), and Snooki braces for more bladder control problems by doubling up on underwear. Man, is anyone else, like, crazy turned on by these girls? But some minor head and crotch problems aren't enough to keep these girls from a Sunday fun day bender. The whole crew hits the boardwalk, where Snooki determines that she has a UTI (clarifying that that does not stand for "Ultimate Tanning Institute") and prescribes herself 40 shots of tequila for the pain. Makes sense.

There's a new phenomenon afoot this season in which Mike splinters off from the group to hang with townie hangers-on whenever possible. Last night Sitch decided to open up about his new habit to an epically wasted Deena and Snooki. "I feel like there's certain people that like to gang up and talk sh!t behind my back," adding that he thinks the guys in the house are conspiring against him, and pretending that he's done nothing to deserve the cold shoulder. At this point, Mike has decided he's the most persecuted good guy since Jesus, and he plans to do something about it. "Here comes The Situation...and you're not gonna like it," he threatens. This should end well.

After some more talk about Snooki's bladder and an unfortunate glimpse of Mike's pubes, Snooks and The Sitch decide to finally try and patch things up. At first, it looked like bad news for everyone who was hoping the return of Psycho Mike might liven up what's thus far been a pretty boring season of Shore. Fortunately, dude quickly worked himself up into a drunken hissy fit, and as his pants dropped, his voice rose, until he was basically screaming at his roommates about nothing in particular with his dick hanging out. Good to have you back to full strength, you lunatic a-hole.

So, it turns out, some rumors are too good to be true and Snooki is not pregnant (according to Snooki, anyway). The world's most famous spray-tanned tequila sponge appeared on the Opie & Anthony show earlier today and dismissed the rumor that she's knocked up. Fortunately, rumors are like Marines, and when a good one dies there's always another one to take its place.

Emilio Masella (the dude that Snooks dated just before Jionni) took advantage of the day's pregnancy speculation to step back into the spotlight for his 16th minute of fame. Emilio claims that had Snooki actually been pregnant, an all-guido episode of Maury would've been needed in order to figure out who the father is.

“Do you think she has only slept with one person the past year?" Emilio said in an interview. The bitter-sounding ex went on to list himself, Mike Sorrentino, and Vinny Guadagnino as possible baby daddies, adding, "There are a lot of suspects with her. She’s good at lying and can get away with anything with Jionni.”

Harsh, but it gets worse. “She’s not anywhere ready to be mom, [but] she doesn’t like to use a condom,” Emilio said, when asked about Snickers' maternal instincts. “If you can’t stay with one guy, how are you ready to be a mother? It would die of secondhand smoke. She needs to stop smoking and quit drinking.” Okay, so Emilio clearly has an ax to grind, but after witnessing Snooks' behavior on Shore this season, I fully believe the "good at lying" bit. However, I don't think Jionni is fooled by her BS; I think he just doesn't care that she cheats. Ya know...because he's gay and just in it for the cash. Yup, I went there. Anyway, congrats on not being pregnant, Snooks! Shots on you!

When the random dude who makes millions running "the Jersey Shore t-shirt store" pays an unannounced visit to the house, you know he's there to stir up drama. But because we're supposed to forget that everyone involved with this show is making ungodly bank, he's just there to play pissed off boss/landlord. He's pissed that Vinny and The Situation went AWOL and he's fixin' to replace them, dammit! Of course, MTV would never, in a million years let some Jersey rando who sells wife beaters on the boardwalk for a living pick new castmembers for the network's most popular show, but the trick actually works and the guidos are convinced they're about to be saddled with new roommates.

But then, as if on cue, Mike returns to the house explaining that "Cancers are very sensitive people" to the interest of absolutely no one. Sigh, I was looking forward to a new house douche bag. Vinny, however, is a different story. The roommates call asking him to come home for Mike and Pauly D's surprise birthday party, but Vin politely declines. See, Vinny is the anti-Situation. People actually like him and want him to come home and he didn't leave as desperate cry for attention - dude really wanted to leave. Fortunately, everything the Shore whores do is tabloid fodder, so we already know Vin comes home eventually (maybe even *SPOILER ALERT* later tonight).

Next, in what feels like the opening scene in a snuff film, the girls meet up with some intensely creepy stripper pimp who helps them set up for Mike and Pauly's party and resists the urge to fill his trunk with Meatballs. But while a Jersey stripper pimp is pretty scary, even scarier is what's happening at the Shore Store - the search for a new roommate has begun! Because they're millionaires who have no real fear of being fired from a t-shirt shop, JWoww rips down Danny's "Help Wanted" sign to discourage further inquiries. She could've just shown every applicant footage of Snooki and Deena dry-humping each other in bunny costumes, which is something that seriously happened last night.

After all the drama, it's finally surprise party time. Shockingly, Pauly and The Sitch are not hard to surprise. "I got cakes, I got strippers...this is the best day of my life," says Pauly. Mike on the other hand can't be cheered up even by those incredible circumstances. He somehow manages to bring one of the strippers home, but chooses not to bang her because of some heated argument about matching socks. I'm beginning to think there's something to this "gay Situation" theory.

So we've already seen murderous pimps, humping bunnies and some unlikely sock drama, but this isn't one of those episodes that lumps all the good stuff into the first half hour. No, the real highlights are yet to come, including one of the most unexpectedly awesome scenes in the illustrious history of Jersey Shore...

Snooki looks freakin' AMAZING these days! I seriously can not get enough of hot skinny Snooki! Nicole Polizzi has transformed right in front of our eyes. Who knew Jersey Shore's biggest star was this hawt?!

Damn woman. Just damn. Nicole said that she looked awful on earlier seasons of Jersey Shore. Seeing herself on TV, plus the 10 pounds the camera adds to her 4'9 frame, made the hilarious guidette want to slim down, and that she has! Snooki wanted to reach her goal weight of 98 lbs, and she did. While there's speculation that Nicole has been popping diet pills, and her weight has fluctuated a bit over the past few months, based upon her FB and Twitter updates, it's obvious that Snooks is determined to keep the weight off. She's loving her new look. Can you blame her?

Photos: Facebook

There's been a lot of speculation lately about Vinny Guadagnino and Pauly D being gay guido lovers (GGLs). I initially dismissed it, thinking the guys were just caught up in the throes of a passionate bromance, but after seeing Pauly descend into full Shakespearean tragedy mode after Vinny left the house on last night's episode of Jersey Shore, I'm beginning to think these two might be smearing their fake tans on one another's private parts.

Even weirder were the reactions from Deena ("I love him!") and Jionni (asking Snooki, "Do you love him?!"). Relax, guys. Vinny's cool, but he's not Ferris freakin' Bueller. There are worse things than one of your friends heading back to Staten Island a few weeks ahead of schedule. Vinny's family has an equally dramatic reaction to his return home, but because his mom is the old-school, loving Italian type, she welcomes him with open arms, instead of smacking him for quitting the world's easiest seven-figure job.

Fortunately, Snooki is around to keep things perspective. "Let's just get wastey pants," she says, coining my new favorite term for getting hammered. Before noon, the Meatballs are humping each other on top of the bar and doing body shots with Deena's surprisingly non-hideous sister. Despite stumbling to a cab while the sun is still up, Snooki is somehow back out that night swilling vodka and attempting to break dance, which leads me to believe she's somehow grown a second liver.

The whole crew heads out for round three and Snooki has somehow sobered up yet again. She's soon in need of a serious Cuervo infusion, though, as The Situation's d-bag friend The Unit is (as always) hanging out at Karma waiting to make her life miserable. Why is this dude suddenly around all the time? Where was he the first four seasons? Why is he wearing a vest with no shirt under it? Despite my many questions about The Unit, he's certainly made this season more interesting, and last night's episode was no exception...

When Russell Brand posted photographic evidence of what he wakes up to, I was horrified. Katy Perry had been deceiving us for years, looking gorgeous with makeup on and downright nasty without it. Snooki, on the other hand, looks beautiful without makeup and she doesn't need a drop of it.

Jionni LaValle's better half posted the photo above on her Twitter with the caption: "No make up day and IDC."

Every day could be no make up day for Snooks if she looks that good! It's a pretty courageous move to go fresh faced on Twitter. Nicole has dropped over 20 pounds and she's super confident now. Werk!

Awwwww. How could we forget the man who sprayed cologne on his penis on the season premiere of Jersey Shore?

Snooki and Deena Nicole Cortese found pretty hilarious ways of describing who Jonny "The Unit" Manfre is. He's Mike Sorrentino's clone! The Situation's friend is just like him in almost every single way, except he's better looking and has longer hair.

Just like the Sitch, The Unit is a jerkoff. Deena told MTV News: “The Unit is another part of Mike. He’s like Mike’s unit, it’s kind of unreal. He kind of, like, gives Mike more ‘umph’ to be, like, a jerk.”

Snooki chimed in with: “He’s like Mike times 10, so it’s, like, gross, gross, gross. It’s not attractive.”

Nicole has her own very personal reasons for not liking The Unit - she doesn't want him to tell her boyfriend that she cheated. The Unit will be back for a few more episodes this season! Now that's a crazy situation! Ha.