Archive for the 'Not Gonna Last' Category
John Mayer has been through one too many pussies that it’s blatantly obvious the man is pure evil. It’s not so much that John’s a whore that’s irksome, it’s that John is probably a really great boyfriend. I’m talkin’ all kinds of romantical dates and sensual adventures in the sack.
He’s the type who’ll cry into your arms on Monday and tell you he’s never been happier in life, because you’re what he’s dreamed of, then email you Tuesday morning saying he was just drunk and it’s not there anymore, “Sorry.” He’ll say it’s not you, it’s him, oh! and those three sluts he banged last weekend. Which will, of course, prompt you to play Fiona Apple songs and become a born again lesbian who now rides strap-ons named ‘John’s penis’ with her mustache wearing butch lovers.
This is not going to end in Jen’s favor, but for Maniston’s sake, I wish it would.
source, source
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Mariah Carey looks beautiful! And Nick Cannon’s Mariah tattoo across his back is HUGE!! I’m not gonna say anything mean in this post. I’ll give them their moment.
Also, I was gonna post the pictures, but because I know People magazine will email me, threatening my ass to take it down I’m gonna hook you up with the hawt link. Enjoy.
Mariah and Nick’s wedding album and article
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Fresh from their surprise April 30 wedding, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon step out for the first time as hubby and wife Thursday night in New York City. Here, the pair hit hot restaurant the Waverly Inn after an appearance at the TIME 100 party.
Damn Mariah Carey and her super cute dress. Nick Cannon is tagging along quite nicely. I’ve never seen Mimi look as happy as she does when she’s with Nick. It’s called when lust meets infatuation, bitch. Enjoy it while it lasts. I love this mess. It’s about time we have another Britney Spears i.e. huge popstar turned trainwreck. The drama is on its way.
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Mariah Carey tells People, “We really do feel we are soulmates. I never felt a love like this was in the cards for me.”
And Nick Cannon said, “She is beautiful on the outside and 10 times as beautiful on the inside.”
Um, yeah! That’s exactly the same thing I say after I’ve been dating a guy for a month. Everything is beautiful on the inside because I don’t have a clue of what the inside is! Then the fangs come out.
Mariah and Nick are strangers, not saying it doesn’t have potential to last, but the “soulmates” need to keep things the way they are when everything’s all “beautiful” and shit. Translation: Mariah and Nick should see each other on official holidays and every April for their anniversary. That’s it!
I give this 1 year tops.
LINKAGE
- Jessica Simpson says people are so harsh towards her - CS
- Lindsay Lohan looks great on Ugly Betty! She looks her age when she’s not wearing the fake tan - SOW
- Britney Spears has been working out but she’s still fat? - RR
- Wear that disguise in bed, hun - CK
- Guess who’s having twin daughters? - GB
- Matthew McConaughey in your cup - AB
- Hannah Montana ratings drop - ND
- Ashley Tisdale is suddenly single? - DD
- Rihanna complains about being a celebrity - DS
- When was the last time you got as drunk as Kelly Osbourne? - PB
- Who slashed my Olsen? - IBBB
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On Paris Hilton:
“I always knew that she was, like, wife material, or serious girlfriend material,”
Why is Benji talking to the press about Paris so much?! And why is Paris blogging about her love for Benji, being seen everywhere with him and mentioning him so damn much? Is this a publicity stunt? Gasp.
Us
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Latina Magazine is reporting that Mariah Carey and Scrawny Cannon wed on an island yesterday. The source says that the nuptials were “very impulsive.” Is that code for piss drunk?
Da Brat was in the house and attended the ceremony. While Nick’s ex, Victoria Secret model Selita Banks, said she has “no comment” but wishes them well.
Mimi and Nick hooked up at the end of March (as in yesterday’s March, not 2007 March)! They worked on Mariah’s latest single, “Bye Bye.”
I’m not feelin’ this Mariah! Everyone was saying you were crazy a few years ago, what the fudge do you think folks will say now?! I hope Nick didn’t sign a prenup because this divorce is gonna be the divorce of the decade.
Anyone else think celebrities should be exempt from the right to get married?!
Us
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