Not Gonna Last

Rihanna has a thing for singers, rappers, baseball players, actors, strippers, females, and now she's into an NFL player. Rihanna and Oakland Raiders star Darren McFadden are having sex "dating." Rihanna was promoting her new movie, Battleship, in Hawaii, where she and Darren made out.

Rihanna ran into the ocean but Darren wouldn't join her, that's when "she discreetly flashed him" and he came running!

"He ran into the water, and they started kissing.”

Rihanna and Darren have been dating for a few weeks but were spotted holding hands in the lobby of their hotel and dancing at a club and cuddling in a lounge chair.

Rihanna should just date someone on her staff, who has to travel with her for work. How is this f*ckship supposed to work when Rihanna's on tour and Darren's practicing and traveling for the NFL?

After Ashton Kutcher passed on an opportunity to have an awkward date with Lea Michele and her family on New Year's Eve, she began dating Cory Monteith of Glee. Cory and Lea look great together on the show, so they probably also make an adorable couple in real life. Lea and Cory began dating in February and they're already living together.

Star magazine reports that Cory is moving into Lea's new $1.4 million house. He reportedly liked the relationship the way things were, but Lea wanted to be more serious!

The Glee couple went to Coachella together and Lea has already met Cory's friends and family in Vancouver.

Woah! I think we have a Jennifer Love Hewitt 2.0 on our hands. Lea does seem like the type who would be a possessive, psycho girlfriend! They are so doomed.

Kanye West is embarrassed that Us magazine ran a story that had a source claiming that Yeezy calls Kimmy K "his Beyonce." Kanye and Jay-Z have been friends for years and Kanye obviously clearly has a crush on Beyonce, with all the comments he makes about her in his songs. Still, he didn't say that Kimberly is his Beyonce.

Kanye tells Spin magazine: "I would never compare anyone to my friend's wife. Come on now, that doesn't even sound like me. If I don't say something in a rap or on Twitter, it's not true."

Speaking of Twitter, Kim Kardashian was the only person Kanye followed on Twitter for the longest time after he created his account. Kanye has been trying to f*ck Kim for the past 8 years, and they used to hook up, and now she's using him as a prop on the upcoming season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. When you have to pursue someone for nearly a decade and then they dump you for someone else and then cum running back.. Do I even need to finish my sentence? This is not going to end well.

Photo: Pacific Coast News

Uh, this makes sense?! Marc Anthony wanted to reconcile with his estranged wife and mother of his twins Jennifer Lopez, 42, but Jenny from the block is in love with Casper Smart's cock - write that one down, kids. Marc reportedly spoke to JHo about getting back together a few weeks ago but she said no!

According to insiders, Marc "wanted to give the marriage another try, but Jennifer confessed ... she was deeply in love with Casper ... and wanted to pursue that relationship. Marc was blindsided ... he had not idea things were so serious -- and he was hurt."

Marc then filed divorce papers last week after Jennifer rejected him.

You can't make a ho a housewife!!!!!!! It's called karma. Jenny will put all of her stock into 22 year-old Casper, who she pays $10,000 a week to f*ck her, and he'll be onto the next one, but Casper's next chick will probably be like 19 years old. Good luck with this one Jenny! If all else fails, Justin Bieber should be available within a year.

Photo: Pacific Coast News

So Fantasia Barrino went to T-Mobile one day and she ran into Antwaun Cook, who was working there. He's good looking, and has a penis, so she pursued a relationship with him. Fantasia and Antwaun began dating even though he's married. Then she got pregnant, aborted the baby and later tried to kill herself. Like a train wreck on a mission, Fanny got pregnant again and she recently had a son, but she didn't give him Cook's last name.

Antwaun was allegedly cheating on Fanny the entire relationship, and now he's trying to get his estranged wife back, Paula Cook. Yes, Antwaun and Paula are still married.

An insider tells Radar that Paula's "not exactly staying away from him either."

Fantasia and Antwaun ran into each other at the club over the weekend and "things got a little cozy between the two," a source says.

Cozy is a PC way of putting it apparently!

“Antwaun was shoving his tongue down her throat and she kept having to push him away without trying to make a scene. He told Paula that she belongs to him because she’s still his wife!”

Midget reality TV star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is now engaged to her midget boyfriend, Jionni LaValle! Snooki thinks that Jionni is the second coming, even though he embarrassed her in front of millions of viewers last season, and she is so desperate to get wifed up and have guido, vertically challenged kids, Jionni would have to be blind, deaf and dumb to pass on this meal ticket.

Star magazine reports: “Jionni bought the ring. She’s waiting for the right time to announce the news to promote her new show.”

In August, Snooks told Good Morning America that she wants a "big ring!" Considering her size, most rings would look huge on her hand. The only problem is, Jionni is, like, unemployed. He's always spotted traveling all over the world with Snickers, and his mother paid for his plane ticket out of Italy, so who exactly paid for this ring?!

Star said that Jionni wants to pop the question on Valentine's Day. This story has been just reported, however, AND I received the following email in my inbox today, which says:

Tonight we are the first to inform you that it is official. Snooki and Jionni are indeed engaged. The text message came through at approximately 11:30pm from a very close source of the future groom inviting us to an exclusive close friends gathering tomorrow for the celebration.

So there you have it! As recently as this week, Snooki said, "Jionni’s a great guy, so you know I’m so down to make guido babies with him!”

Snooki talks about raising kids like one would describe picking out a friggin' purse! Congrats?

* Thanks for the confirmation email Giselle!

Simon Cowell, 52, says that he and fiancee Mezhgan Hussainy have put their wedding plans on hold. Cowell tells the Daily Mirror: "It's quite a complicated relationship. We have had a break from each other, and we are still incredibly close." He continued: "I'm vulnerable...I don't know if I will ever get married, but I am happy."

Mezhgan and Simon got engaged in February 2010. Simon gushed in various interviews about his girlfriend, saying: "She's very special...You know when you've found somebody very special."

What the f*ck ever. Everyone is breaking up and Mezhgan should run if she knows what's good for her. She's waiting on a man who has put his career first his entire life. It's pretty sad considering that she could be with someone who wouldn't mind f*ck her like this.

Jennifer Lopez has always been a co-dependent serial monogamist, but her desperation has hit an all-time low since she began dating 24 year-old backup dancer Casper Smart. Jenny gives her boy toy $10k so he can pay for things. There was no typo there. Jennifer gives Casper her money so that he can pay for things for her with her money.

Casper Smart, who really is very smart, has his sugamama giving him $10,000 each week in allowance. He only spends some of that on Jenny, keeping the rest for himself. Casper is also allowed to drive Lopez around in her Bentley.

Casper burrowed money from Jen to buy her a Christmas present and she got tired of whipping out her credit card every time they went to dinner.

Star magazine via Jezebel reports: Casper is “learning to live like a star,” flying on private jets and staying in luxury hotels. Now that he’s getting paid, “Jen is hoping Casper won’t think twice about buying presents for her kids of whisking her off for a surprise weekend getaway.”

The source adds that Jen is "old-fashioned when it comes to wanting the man to take charge." Whew! We all know there's nothing more old-fashioned than a 42 year-old woman buying her 24 year-old boyfriend!

Frances Bean Cobain's fiance Isaiah Silva spoke with People magazine about his relationship with the offspring of rock legends. Isaiah, 26, says: "We're each other's everything." Hmmmm. Young, dumb and co-dependent? This is gonna work.

The singer of rock band the Rambies continued: "We're homebodies. We don't go out to clubs so you won't find us stumbling out of them with Lindsay Lohan. We stay at home, read books and watch Arrested Development."

Isaiah says that he is "very pro-woman," whatever that means. He continued: "I love strong, opinionated, intelligent women" and he says that he is now "totally happy."

Yep, this sh!t is so going to work out. People magazine also promoted the Rambies' shows and upcoming EP in its article, which the publication never really does for anyone, but I guess that's what Isaiah wanted. I hope he isn't, you know he is, using Frances.

Photo: Wenn

Casper Smart and Jennifer Lopez were spotted in Calabasas, CA yesterday where they went shopping. Casper's real name is Beau, and I'm unsure of whether or not his real last name is Smart, but this unattractive dude is genius!

I don't even know how Jen finds him attractive, for the obvious reasons, but I'm guessing that Casper also does whatever Jen wants, whenever she wants. People who don't have backbones aren't sexy. Jenny really has herself some issues! So what the eff is Casper supposed to buy his multi-millionaire suga mama for Christmas? The SNL spoof "Dick in a Box" comes to mind.

Photos: Fame