Like most trends, it seems that Jersey Shore's popularity is on the decline. The Pauly D Project was heavily promoted and the sexist fun-loving DJ with a tornado proof blowout is a fan favorite. Naturally MTV thought that Pauly D's reality show would be ratings gold, but the show has bombed in the ratings. Is it due to overexposure, was the show put out too late, or are we just over Vinny Guadagnino's secret boyfriend?

Pauly's show had low ratings from the very start. The Pauly D project premiered on March 29 and ratings have dropped for the series every week! All hope is not last for the fat boy, though. Pauly will be paid $2.1 million for the upcoming season of Shore, not including all the money he makes for his DJ gigs, appearances, work with 50 Cent and more!

He's used Jersey Shore as a platform to gain  success in music, so it doesn't really matter if people tune into his show as long as Pauly's fans keep supporting his other ventures.

Photo: Wenn

WTH happened here? We thought Pauly D was really into GTL so that he would always look fresh to death for girls who are DTF in da club? Pauly D walked the red carpet at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas last weekend and he was looking large and in charge!

If there was anyone I thought might get fat, it would be Ronnie. Snooki slimmed down but Pauly D has been eating all her leftovers.

Pauly's friend thinks that we have eyesight problems and says "He's gained 20 pounds of muscle. He is [exercising] nonstop . . .three times a day sometimes."

That's hilarious! Pauly needs to exercise three times a day now because he looks gross.

If only Deena Cortese didn't have a boyfriend of her own, now would be the opportune time to try to smush.

Photos: Wenn

Lately, the off-camera lives of the Jersey Shore cast have been far more dramatic than anything that happens on the show, but because it mainly exists to squeeze every cent possible out of played-out ideas (Beavis & Butthead? Punk'd? Really?) MTV still rounded up the guidos to discuss the televisual Ambien that was season five. Host Amy Paffrath was apparently unaware that most people tuning into the reunion special actually watch Shore on a regular basis so she referred to season five as "the craziest yet." Amy, the only crazy thing is that this show got picked up for a sixth season.

Paffrath kicked off the clip fest by reminding us that the Shore kids "picked up right where they left off" in Seaside, which was a huge part of the problem. "It felt good to fall down and pee in bushes," said Snooki, and then the guys talked about how much they missed their GTL sessions in Italy for the 5 millionth time. Then, (Finally!) things got interesting when The Situation and Snooki (or Cokey and Preggo, as I call them) were pulled aside to discuss their still-unresolved cheating scandal.

"If I was that horny, I would go in my room and masturbate," says Snooks about the prospect of sex with The Sitch. Mike and Nicole engaged in their usual he said/she said routine, and the whole thing remained unsettled, eventually leading Ronnie to echo the sentiments of the audience by screaming, "Who the f*ck cares?!" Snooki actually offered an interesting defense by claiming that Mike likes to stir up drama but doesn't want to be hated, so he chose to start sh!t with the roommate he thought was most likely to forgive. Good theory, but I still think she banged him.

Clips of Mike's drunken emotional outburst have an added poignancy now that he's admitted to a substance abuse problem, but a montage of The Sitch's douchiest season five moments made it really difficult to feel bad for the dude. "You're worried about being the good guy or being the bad guy...Just be yourself," Snooki said to him, unwittingly hitting on one of the major problems with Shore. At this point, everyone has settled into their respective roles (JWoww's the mom; Snooki's the drunk; Pauly and Deena are comic relief) and as a result, it's slowly become one of the most predictable shows on TV. And it looks like it's not just the audience that's fed up with it...

Talk about putting the nail in the coffin on one of the most successful reality shows in history! MTV will begin filming Jersey Shore season 6 this summer in Seaside Heights, New Jersey. All of the housemates will return for "their home-away-from-home, and the house dynamic is headed into unchartered territory…as their lives outside the “Shore” take off in exciting new directions," according to MTV's publicity department.

The network claims that the cast's "trademark hilarity and family dysfunction will remain the same." Are you also confused?! So the Jersey Shore castmates' lives are taking off "in exciting new directions" yet things in the house "will remain the same"? MTV wishes.

MTV execs need to figure out how to make this show interesting again. They need to hire scriptwriters, they should add a new housemate, stop sending the cast to Karma every single night... or they could just cancel the show right now! We don't need season 6. I don't like anyone in the cast anymore and I really can't stand that these millionaires "work" at a T-shirt store for a living! MTV doesn't think very highly of its viewers.

The show is too stupid to make any sense now. I'll just DVR it so that I can see the pregnant midget sex Snooki will still engage in with her gay fiance Jionni during her third trimester, just like Jessica Simpson does with her unlucky dude.

I never thought I'd say this, but thank God Snooki is pregnant. If that midget liquor sponge hadn't gotten knocked up, there would be literally nothing interesting going on with the cast of Jersey Shore, and I say this with one episode left in the season - a time when the drama and shenanigans are usually at their peak. The only compelling storyline since the cast returned from Italy -  Mike's douche-tastic attempt to ruin Snooki's relationship - looked like it was gonna come to a head at the beginning of last night's episode, but even that fizzled out quickly.

The Situation confessed (a little too eagerly) to Jionni that he banged Nicole while she and Jionni were dating. Jionni responded by...shaking his hand and thanking him for his honesty?! What kind of guido is this dude?! Where's the hot-tempered jealousy?! Jionni then climbs into bed with Snooki and reveals that he doesn't believe Mike's story, which makes him even more of a pussy for smiling in the face of the guy who he thinks is slandering his girlfriend for no reason. Fortunately, Snooki still has some balls and she responds to Mike's rampant dickishness like only she could - by throwing pickles at the dude.

"I think Jionni took the news so well because he knows Snooki's hooking up. He's doing the same thing," Pauly D theorized, ignoring the fact that Jionni is an obvious closet case. Snooki, of course, has a different take on the situation. "Jionni and I are getting married, I feel, when he proposes," says Snooks. "I don't when that is, but he better do it, like, within the future." Sounds like a girl with a plan...and possibly a serious learning disorder.

Because the producers are well aware of how boring this season has been, Snooki then proposes a camping trip like she's reading from a cue card and then there's a food fight, for some reason. Fortunately, what starts with a little innocent hot dog flinging turns into a serious condiment war between Snooki and The Sitch...because that's how grown-ups settle disputes. Did I mention they were sober at the time? And don't forget these two are about to head off into the woods together. What could go wrong?

Based upon this trailer, it looks like The Pauly D Project will be the best of the Jersey Shore spin-off shows. Pauly D gives viewers VIP access to his life as a kid from a middle class upbringing to being one of the highest paid DJs in the country. Pauly D works with Britney Spears and 50 Cent, but he remains grounded by taking his hometown friends with him along for the ride. The man with the permanent smile is back with his blowout for what is sure to be an unforgettable season of a fun, new reality show. Yeah, buddy! The Pauly D Project premieres on March 29 on MTV.

Pauly D Project Trailer

Wasted, half-naked, and hitting on one of her roommates  - that's the image that the future husband and child of the newly pregnant/engaged Snooki will have to shake if they're gonna try and make a go at this whole "family" thing. So they may never wanna watch the beginning of last night's Jersey Shore...or any episode of Jersey Shore, for that matter. Fortunately for Jionni and the fetal Jionni Jr., Snooks went too hard too early in her attempt to get it in with Vinny and ended up passing out instead of her joining her roommates at Jenks. But an even better trainwreck showed up on the scene: Angelina! Sadly, no one got wasted enough to bring her home.

The next morning, The Situation tips a delivery guy with protein powder (what a guy) while JWoww prepares for her and Roger's one-year anniversary by hitting the sex shop for various flavored creams and latex items. Things get even classier, when Sitch, Snooki and Ron dump a liter of Southern Comfort into a water bottle and head to work at the Shore Store. You can guess how that turned out...with Mike putting in his hardest day's work ever? Wtf is up with this season?!

Fortunately, some drama begins to take shape when The Sitch calls The Unit to arrange another attempt to destroy Snooki's relationship. Speaking of sabotage, Vinny and Pauly D take issue with Jenni's plan to "decorate the smush room with rose petals and bondage equipment" and decide to throw the smush room mattress on the porch (without hazmat gear). Amazingly, Jenni is actually a good sport about it and Paul and Vinny don't instantly break out in full-body herpes sores.

Roger comes into town, everyone makes fun of Vinny's ridiculous denim blouse and then the whole crew heads to Karma...but not before The Situation promises a night full of serious drama. "It's been a little too calm lately," Mike says, apparently reading the minds of everyone who's been watching this season. "Sit back, grab your popcorn and watch." The Unit arrives at Karma for operation Ruin Snooki's Life (as if she can't handle that on her own) and to make things worse, Jionni's parents are in the club for some reason. Maybe this entire boring season has been leading up to this earth-shattering blow-out (I mean a fight, not a haircut). Nothing against Snooki, but God I hope so...

Roger loves to fight. When he's not beefin' with JWoww for seemingly no reason, he's throwing down with random club d-bags at Karma. Somehow the thick-necked 'roid case manages to scuffle without taking any lives (it helps to have an MTV security team just off camera) and everybody leaves the club unscathed and un-cuffed. Snooki is (as always) excited to "touch Jionni's weiner" but the combination of one too many cosmos and the thought of having sex with Snooki has the closet-case guido blowing chunks (thanks for the audio on that, producers). "I wanna have sex right now. Why the f*ck are you throwing up?" says the ultra-compassionate Nicole. I don't know what's more impressive, her way with words or her tender bedside manner.

Because he's an actual heterosexual man, Roger has a somewhat decent reason for blowing off his girlfriend - opting to pound drinks and chicken salad sandwiches instead of smushing. This guy actually seems cool and I'm hoping both he and Jenni's hooker boots will make plenty of cameos in the upcoming JWoww/Snooki spinoff. Further proving that they own the only testicles in the Shore house, the ladies suggest a fishing/crabbing trip the next morning. After many crab-based one-liners ("I caught crabs!" and the slightly more clever "Crabs are here!")  the guidos actually make a decent showing  - until Snooki and Deena decide to try their hand at rafting.

"Arms are flapping; there's meatball sauce flying everywhere," says Ronnie in what could serve as an accurate description of the boating adventure or any of Deena's recent smush sessions. Some onlookers try to warn the Meatballs to keep their inflatable raft away from sharp objects. Deena thinks they're saying "shark" and hilariously freaks out over the prospect of a deadly great white lurking in three feet of murky Jersey piss-water. Snooki, meanwhile is mainly concerned with holding onto her booze and extensions. "Your eyelashes are floating in the Pacific, as we speak," she chides Deena, while showing off her impressive knowledge of geography.

After failing to bring home any DIY seafood, it's time for the Shore Store and another run-in with Pauly D's stalker. "She stares right at me with this death look that I can feel burning a hole through my head...and it's messing with my blowout." I'll repeat my prediction that we're gonna see this chick on the news very soon. Speaking of stalkers, Mike grills Snooki about her relationship with Jionni and seems surprised when she says she wants to marry him. "When someone says at the wedding, 'Does anyone object?' Can I run in the room?" Mike asks. At least he knows he won't be invited. Minutes later, Snooks describes her relationship as "definitely unhealthy," which makes the news of her recent engagement a little troubling.

What is going on with these girls?! I was looking forward to watching the ladies of Jersey Shore age into a more leathery version of the Sex and the City foursome, but it looks like they're all gunning to become dick-whipped housewives before they hit thirty. Snooki is engaged, Sammi has so thoroughly disappeared under one of Ron's 'roid pecs that she's barely visible this season, and now JWoww is so wrapped around Roger's little finger that she looks more like Little Jenni from Albany rather than the fake-boobed, awful-nicknamed b!tch goddess we've come to know and love.

After their first bad fight, JWoww basically curls up in a fetal position and begs for Roger's forgiveness. "Roger's like 65 years old, so he's not gonna play these little baby games," says Deena, sounding uncomfortably like a middle-schooler whose  best friend is banging her bio teacher. But Deena's got bigger problems than saving Jenni's relationship with Mr. Burns (Roger is 35, by the way). Her boss wants her gone and she's gotta figure out how to bake a cake to get back in his good graces. After two attempts at putting it in the oven (seriously) the cake is baked, and the meatballs are ready to grovel.

Unfortunately, during the night, someone helps themselves to a corner of the cake, which leads to two of the more subtly hilarious lines of the season: 1.)"Who eats cake when they know it's an 'I'm sorry' cake?" - Deena 2.) (In Sherlock Holmes mode) "Okay, who loves chocolate cake?" Really, dude? That's gonna narrow it down? Naturally, all fingers point toward The Situation, as there's only one person in the house (and possibly the world) douchey enough to purposefully wreck a desert meant to save someone's job.

After some more drama with Snooki's urinary tract infection (man, they're really grasping at straws this season), the girls accuse Mike of the cake thievery directly. His nonchalant attitude and lame excuse ("I'm on a diet!") led me to believe dude definitely ate the cake, but Pauly finally confesses, leading Mike to turn into an 8 year-old before out eyes. ("They only notice when I'm bad!") With that, the great cake conflict of 2012 is over, and I hope to never again spend that much of my life watching grown-ups argue about baked goods.

"We're pretty much finding out who the real troublemaker is and it's...Snooki!" The Situation started last night's episode of Jersey Shore by saying that with a straight face. Yes, the girl who's main priority this season is keeping her relationship intact while Mike tries to destroy it is definitely the one causing problems in the house. That pantsless, drunken tirade Mike went on last week must have been carefully edited to make him look like the sociopathic lunatic.

After basically accusing Snooki of being the tanned lovechild of Lucifer and Newt Gingrich, Mike gets on the duck phone to start trying to destroy her. He and The Unit talk for a few minutes about Deena's sister's sex life, and I guess we'll have to wait for the uncensored DVD to know what the hell they said, because the entire conversation was bleeped out. Anyway, Mike seemed to have gotten the info he needed, so it's time to teach that b!tch a lesson about stirring up unnecessary drama! Or something...

As proof of what an evil devil woman she is, Snooki wakes Mike up to invite him to go out. He declines and everyone else hits the town for the same Seaside clubbing we've seen roughly 4,000 times at this point. The highlight was definitely JWoww's weird, depressed attempt to do The Robot. The Snooki vs. Sitch conflict is certainly the best part of this season so far, but the escalating war between JWoww and Roger has now taken second place in terms of weird drama. We know that these two are still dating in real life, yet we watch them play weird head games with each other with the expectation that they'll break up any minute. Who knew Jenni was the type to tolerate this kind of sh!t?

Quick sidenote: Vinny getting shot down by a lesbian and then effortlessly banging another chick who freakin' followed him home demonstrates why the public is beginning to lose interest in this show. It's reached the point where these guys have to put literally zero effort into getting laid. They're famous millionaires being followed around some Jersey tourist town by an MTV camera crew. Given that situation, John Goodman would be knee deep in willing turnpike trim. Anyway, back to the episode...