Don't like my post title? I jacked it from someone else. It's Christmas Eve today, which means we're gonna act like common folk and we won't be blogging over the holidays. However, I'll begin poppin' again on Monday. I have to pack and fly away for vacay and I hope you'll be busy and warm and cozy and that your family won't work your nerves too much. Thanks for giving me many blessings.

<3

Firecracker

Also, my Snow Patrol and Lady Gaga contest winners will be notified via email by 12/26. You made it so hard for me to choose! Thank you all for your very kind responses. :)

Additionally, unfortunately I'll be turning off comments next week because my internet access will be extremely limited and no one should have to wait and wonder if his or her comment will be approved. I also get a lot of spam comments and I won't have to worry about those either.

I'll be blogging from Monday 12/ 29 - Jan. 2nd and Jester will be blogging from Monday Jan 5th - Wednesday Jan 7th, thanks Jester! :) January 8th and 9th will be off days.

Merry MERRY Christmas!!!! :)

I am extremely happy to introduce Jester!

So here's how I discovered him: I was looking up something random online when I came across Jester's website. I spent a good chunk of time reading it and I wanted to return. I thought I had bookmarked his site, then when I wanted to go back days later, I realized that I didn't bookmark it and I couldn't remember what the name of it was either.

I spent a long time trying to find it, and I did! I then asked Jester if he'd like to come on board and he said yes. So here he is. Today is his test drive. He'll be back for more goodness in January when he'll begin blogging twice/week. Enjoy. And feedback is always welcome, of course.

Thank you Jester!!! :)

I did, and I was not impressed. Not only did Jim Carrey beat Will Smith to the #1 spot - MAJOR shocker - Seven Pounds was pretty predictable.

Will Smith, Rosario Dawson and the talk show hosts who interviewed them kept talkin' bout how YOU WON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENS UNTIL THE END! YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND THE MOVIE UNTIL THE END, AND THEN IT'LL MAKE SENSE!

Really? Not so much. VERY early on in the movie I knew exactly what was going to happen in the end. There were clues everywhere! Puh-lease. Also, I kind of loved Rosario Dawson in the film, and I pretty much hate her. I think she's ugly. There, I said it, not apologizing. She looks like a fish. Her bug eyes, big lips and dark circles around her eyes make her look like a recovering crackhead. I also dislike her because her life is too easy. She was discovered on the street, which means she's lazy. But, Rosario does clean up well and she did a decent job.

Something else that annoyed me was the sex scene. It gave me nothing to work with. It was like romantic and meaningful or some shiz. Bor-ring. So Seven Pounds came in at No.2 with $16 million while Jim Carrey's Yes Man came in at No.1 with $18 million. Hancock was a big pile of crap and now Seven Pounds is one predictable production featuring Will playing another subhuman/ god-like character? I guess we'll have to wait and see what he's up to next and where he'll land in box office rankings.

1. 2 midgets attack a whore - So who won?!
2. i got into a accident and am hurt what should i do - Go online and find out instead of going to the doctor for treatment.
3. "baby bump" porn - Why do I wanna watch this?!
   
4. housewifes mutual masterbation video - Is it consensual?
   
5. nude pics of rodeo rock of love - That would only reveal the penis she must be workin' wit.
6. butholes tattoos - I didn't know these exists. Now I know where to get my first tattoo.
7. sexy pics of couples topless - Lesbians? Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, please.
8. baby pubes pic - Because I'm sophisticated, I prefer mature pubes that are trimmed, attached to menz with good jobs.
   
9. dirty kinky santa girls
10. prince william urine - Smells like pee and looks like piss, but isn't as sexy as Prince Harry's poop. This is actually about the exposed penis pics of Prince William taking a leak.

1. nude cooks - SO dangerous. Whenever I make crab cakes hot oil splatters all over me like crazy. One drop of that shiz on my nips and I'm calling 911.
2. cottage cheese butts uncensored - Whhhhhhhhyyy?
3. i want to impregnate miley cyrus
4. i wasn't wearing a bra - So show me your tits then!
5. face twitching cocaine - Any Wino! But wtf? Who say dat?
6. the best networking site to find sluts to fuck! - Pop on the Pop, bitches!
7. "this is not going to end well" - But it is what it is.
8. breakout on chest and stomach - Paris Hilton's herpes show up everywhere.
9. penis too small to pop girls - Anything 4 inches or under, so says Dr. Sue.
10. celebrity butthole picture -surfer -surfers - Ride them waves.

1. "spread her butt" - And dig for gold and diamonds.
2. is eva longoria white? she doesn't look white to me
3. bow to pop sex - How does one go about doing this? Does this happen after one or both parties take a bow?
4. chinnifer - Jennifer Aniston! I've never heard this before but I luvs it!!
5. all things clay aiken - CLAYMATES!!!! Aaaaaaaahhh!
6. nude on the rag girls - OH. MY. GAWD!!!!
7. bare camel toe - Can't exist. Isn't the whole premise of camel toe cloth wedged between snatch lips? Ya can't be nekkid and serve up the toe.
8. bruised sluts
9. lice off - I've never had it and I dunno what works, but reading POTP is good for the mind, body and spirit. I think it gets rid of lice too.
10. omg wtf kitty - Fo sho!

I posted these today because I didn't do one yesterday but Google Searches are a Monday - Friday thang. ;)

1. ninja pussy - I, too, would like to think that my vajayjay lips would go Kung Fu fighting whenever necessary. Or at least bust a cap in a dude's ass if he steps outta line.  I actually made this inquiry up! It popped in my head and I liked it so much that I decided to post it.
2. she's electric boogie boogie boogie - Aaaahhhh...
3. forgot panties - Sure you did. That's so not possible. Wait, I think I have once.
4. insanely kinky sex - Mentally insane people make the best fuck? I believe it.
5. firefighter sluts - My favorite kind of sluts carry big hoses. Get it. Heh. Heh. Uh...
6. banging stepmoms - How 'bout electric stepmoms that go boogie boogie boogie? This entry reminds me of a lot of disturbing Howard Stern shows I've listened to. Like one in particular when a son talked about banging his biological mother.
7. flavor of a sister - If I could assign a flavor to my sister it would be cayenne pepper, what flavor would your sibling(s) be? And what kind of recipes do you think you could use 'em in?
8. why is she called rihanna - Very critical and thought-provoking question. But I'm guessing that when "she" was born, the name her parents selected was Rihanna. This person is a threat to his or her own offspring.
9. girlfriend feels icky about lesbian feelings - LINDSAY LOHAN!
10. is vicodin like marijuana - Please stay outta the pharmaceutical industry.

1. grandma has huge boobs videos - One of the most disturbing inquiries. Ever. Let's just say Granny's workin' wit some big hooters, they're probably touching her knees! Why do you wanna see 'em?
2. jake gyllenhaal std - Ooooooohhhhhh! So. Not. True. Hey, groupie bitch, stay away from my Jakey Pooh!
3. gay christian baby trailer - Ha! None of these words belong together. None.
4. day before boob job - Hmmm. The day before a boob job what would I do? Film a sex tape with my natural tits. Yeah, that's it. Get a mani and pedi and play laser tag, nude, with my natural tits.
5. its britmas bitch - It's not that serious. Britney fans be krayzee. I kind of like this search, though.
6. deflated tits - RACHEL ZOE!!! Who else? I feel like I'm forgetting some bitches here. Keira Knightley...
7. i fuck katy perry - I do too! Psycho.
8. 117 pounds - Is that your goal weight, and how tall are you?
9. grabs boob while kiss - How horny are you? There are plenty of good porn sites, and if you type this in and probably scroll through pages to get to POTP, you need sex rehab, stat.
10. bedhead after party kim kardashian- What does having bedhead after partying with Kim Kardashian mean? This could go so many ways. Crazy fans.
    

1. grab her boobs - Why don't you start things off by going for the ass first?
2. hello nipples - Rachel Zoe's breasts say go eff yourself. They died a few years ago and her nipples have since fallen off.
3. i'm a gay male slut - Christian Siriano, Miley Cyrus' boyfriend, Gay Al or Jennifer Hudson's fiance.
4. married but still virgins
5. straight trannies - Huh?
6. brown milf - I dunno what the best color for a milf should be. But my top brown milf pick goes to Halle Berry, Laila Ali comes in second.
7. celebrity buttholes - I wish my starfish were famous. It would deserve its on star on the walk of fame. Get it?! ... *crickets chirping*
8. "sex more * boyfriend - For love or a suga daddy or if he's packing heat? Yes. If not, then you should be typing in "sex less boyfriend," honey.
9. buy a cheetah - Can you wrap it up for me with a big silver bow on top? Oh, and I'd like $20 cash back with that, please. Thanks.
10. dress fat - Yes, that dress does make you look fat. Heh.

1. breast feeding sluts - What the WTF?!!!!! I'm hoping that this inquiry was for porn with girls who squirt their milk on dudes during 'the act'.
2. big boobs haircut - Do big boobs want haircuts, or do your tits look bigger if you have a certain haircut? Heh.
3. dirt super panties - Dirty panties aren't super, but I want a pair of 'super panties.'
4. " has herpes"- This one's easy, Paris Hilton!
5. "britney spears" "her penis"
6. "impregnate her" - Is some couple struggling to conceive?
7. atl whore houses - Where Kim of the Real Housewives works.
8. beyonce have sex in new movie cadillac records - Does Beyonce get laid in Cadillac Records? I didn't see it this weekend. Dunno.
9. britney taking it in the ass - From who?
10. "boobs" "aaaa cup" - If you've got tig ol bitties like these, just don't wear a bra at all cause there's nothing much to cover up. Dunno if bras are made that small.