If Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz’s relationship were a clothing store, it would be Hot Topic. But, like how all emo, poser-hatin’ eighth graders eventually forfeit their checkered Vans and spike collars for skinny jeans and hipster bowler hats from Urban Outfitters, the shop that is their relationship has officially become a mistake of their past. Once the pied pipers of angsty tweens circa 2005, Pete and Ashlee are now legally dunzo.

After three-and-a-half years of marriage, and one adorable kid named Bronx Mowgli (yeah, we know), the couple's divorce has been finalized.

They've worked out how they will divide their multi-million dollar empire, and have ostensibly reached a custody agreement, though the exact details are unknown. This means that Ashlee can continue f**king random dudes and Pete can continue sobbing into his unicorn Pillow Pet in peace. Congrats!

Have you ever gotten a phone call in the middle of the night from a drunk ex confessing how much they still love you and how they f*cked up and want you back? Yeah, those are annoying and sometimes disturbing phone calls.

Some folks just can't help but make those embarrassing phone calls when they're on the tipsy side, and Ashlee Simpson is one of them. A pal of Pete Wentz told Us Weekly Ashlee made a drunk call to Pete telling him "how much she misses him and wants him back," but a rep for Ashlee denies she ever made the call.

It doesn't matter if she cries her bleeding heart out on the phone to him or not because "He will never go back to her. He's in a good place."

Last we heard, Ashlee was dating Vincent Piazza so what's with the drunk calls to Pete? A lover's quarrel that made her realize she still had feelings for Pete? Whatever it was, her 'people' need to take her phone away when she's drinking.

Photo: WENN

The "he said/she said" is getting thick in the split between Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz. Basically, both sides are claiming the other one is a drunk, pile-popping slut who shouldn't be allowed near children or other human beings. Let the custody battle begin!

Early reports pegged Pete with most of the blame, saying that Fall Out Boy bassist was constantly on tour, leaving him with little time for Ashlee and their unfortunately-named child, Bronx Mowgli. Pete fired back claiming that while he was on tour, he checked in constantly. In fact he had to, he claims, because Ashlee "wouldn't stop partying," was frequently hanging out with other men, and often came home drunk or not at all. Not to be outdone, Ashlee is now claiming that Pete's prescription pill habit was tearing the family apart.

It's a lot to take in, but it's clear that the real winner here is Ashlee's famously overprotective dad, Joe Simpson. You know Joe loves the fact that neither of his daughters can keep a man, making them daddy's little girls forever. Plus, he couldn't have been too crazy about having a son-in-law who wears eyeliner.

Usually when famous couples split, unless there was cheating or beating involved, they pretend it was a mutual decision and that they're both happily going their separate ways. That's not the case with Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz. Ash called it off, and Pete is none too pleased.

Insiders say they saw the split coming for months, with Ashlee and Pete getting into "drunken blowout" fights on a regular basis. The rest of the world came to pretty much the same conclusion based on the fact that these two never seemed to spend any time together and Pete seemed to have a thing for partying with strippers. Apparently, Pete was the only one caught off guard by this whole thing and the shock has thrown him for a loop.

"Pete has been crying a lot," says a source close to the couple. "He is crushed and doesn't want it to be over." Ashlee, on the other hand, seems to be having no second thoughts. "Ashlee is done, she loves him, but she's ready to move on," the same source said. Cheer up, Pete! There's a whole album's worth of tortured emo songs in all this!

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are the latest couple to go their separate ways in Splitsville. According to TMZ, in documents filed in L.A. County Superior Court, Ashlee cited 'irreconcilable differences' as the reason for their split.

The couple released a statement regarding their divorce saying, "After careful consideration, we have made the difficult decision to file for divorce. We remain friends and deeply committed and loving parents to our son Bronx, whose happiness and well-being remains our number one priority. We ask that everyone honor our privacy as we navigate this next phase of our lives."

Now that he's off of his marriage leash, Pete Wentz can start amusing us with self-portraits of his penis again. Yay!

The Jersey Shore cast has a new fan that they probably never expected... Pete Wentz. While he was backstage at his fashion show for his Clandestine clothing line, Pete spoke with Elle about his passion for the Jersey Shore crew.

Pete on his favorite trend, Jersey Shore:

The show's so organic, like, the first time humans have made contact with this species, and it’s amazing. They’re bleeding authenticity. You won’t see that next season because they’re celebrities now.

Who's his favorite cast member?:

Pauly D. When he went underwater, and his hair stayed the same exact way, that was mind-blowing! And I love GTL (gym, tan, laundry) —I almost want to start the practice.

I'm with Pete on the cast losing their authenticity now that they're hot shots. None of the reality show stars are the same after they start getting tons of attention and publicity that they're not used to. They get big heads and sometimes forget who they were. I think Mike Sorrentino (aka The Situation)will be the same because he was already totally stuck on himself.

We had The Beatles, Guns N Roses, N'Sync, The Jackson 5 break up, and now it's time for Fall Out Boy to do the same.  According to tweets on Pete Wentz's Twitter page, the boys are going their separate ways.

It all started with a tweet from Pete that said "cant imagine playing in fob again. something would have to change in my head or my heart-not my wallet." So was he offered more money to stick around? He's not giving any details of the split and explained that he's "not gonna speak to anything publicly about the band internally. my brothers 2 the grave. thnx 4 being there from day 1."

So what the hell happened? Fans will be rioting in the streets and burning dumpsters until the band explains why they've fallen to pieces. I would bet money there's going to be an exclusive interview with Fall Out Boy in Rolling Stone magazine later this year detailing the breakup of the band. They can't stay quiet about it forever! 

Ashlee Simpson looks hotter with the old hag mask and is probably forced to wear it during sex if the room isn't dark enough. What's the point of the masks anyway? It's not every day a couple of jackholes walk around town in Halloween masks, so of course people are going to wonder WTF is going on?

Pete Wentz may be wearing some kind of meth addicted looking monkey mask, but it still almost resembles his face. One thing is for sure, the teeth are still the same!

I must have rolled out on the rude side of the bed this morning. Heh, heh.

Taylor Swift has her very own Band Hero commercial! The tall country singer sings "Love Story" with her band: Pete Wentz, Travis Barker and Rivers Cuomo of Weezer. The commercial looks like it will be just as good as the other Band Hero commercials, and Taylor's so adorable and grateful! She's the role model we so desperately need, the anti-Miley Cyrus.

How's that for an encore? Pete Wentz and Blink-182's Mark Hoppus seem to think that flat ironed hair is so emo, and it's time to change things up.

Before Mark shaves off Pete Wentz's hair on stage, Pete declares that “jay-z had the death of autotune. this is the death of the emo swoosh.” Seriously, dude STFU.

I like Pete in guyliner with his greasy, long bangs handing over his forehead. He has a fat face. I dunno if a buzz cut is the way to go with this one, bro.