Random

Today feels like a slow news day and it's filled with Kate Gosselin and Carrie Prejean and ugh. Then I found this lil gem. Katharine McPhee is walking the street and getting hounded by WAY more paparazzi than she's worth when a crazy homeless lady comes in and handles her business.

The hilarity goes down at around the 1:05 mark. This b*tch is boss.

NSFW

Lady O is from the South and she's keeping it country! Oprah Winfrey is giving away a FREE two piece grilled chicken KFC meal. Why, you ask? Who cares! Oprah is giving away a FREE two piece grilled chicken KFC meal, that is all that you need to know.

Details:

Get two pieces of grilled chicken, two individual sides and a biscuit! Limited Time Download Coupon download available from 9 a.m. CDT on May 5, 2009, to 9:59 p.m. CDT on May 6, 2009. Coupon is redeemable at participating KFC® locations in the United States from May 5, 2009 to May 19, 2009—excluding Mother's Day, May 10, 2009.

Coupon is available at Oprah.com

Thanks Craig!

I think Ricky Martin is pulling an Anderson Cooper. He lives his life as a gay man, but just wont acknowledge it in the press. At least that's what I hope he is doing, because if he thinks he is fooling anyone by showing up to an Armani store opening with mucho product in his hair and a purple satin scarf around his neck, he is seriously disturbed. It's not like he is making albums anymore so if he wants to keep his shit private, I say let him. I realize that I'm being a total hypocrite by saying that but I really want to look like a good person.

We would all love to think that the above pic is of a brother and sister holding their new baby sibling. Well its not! That's a picture of a new mommy and daddy with their infant daughter, and you thought the Octuplet mommy was crazy.

Alfie Patten is 13, but he conceived his daughter, Maisie when he was 12 with his 15-year-old girlfriend Chantelle. What the hell? The teen-couple are now living with Chantelle's trashy ass father in the Britain's council housing, which is like the projects. You can read the whole story at the source. BLECH! I'm so creeped out right now.

I saw the commercial for this yesterday, so I had to throw a post up. Denny's is giving a free Grand Slam out at all their restaurants today. Details:

Dine-in only. Offer limited to Tuesday, 2/3/09, 6 am to 2 pm in all Denny's restaurants in the United States*, Canada and Puerto Rico while supplies last.

*With exception of 350 Baker Blvd., Baker, CA, 740 S. Main St., Las Cruces, NM. and 1128 W Thirteenth St., Merced, CA.

Editor's Note: Strangest Google searches that led people to this site are in italics, words in plain text = my commentary.

1. i wish i had seen your bare bottom - I know you do, but not on the first date. I'm not that kinda ho.
2. in shape grandma blowjob - Grandmas who give head get in shape by doing so? Is there scientific evidence to back this up?
3. www.good lookin bitches.com- This site doesn't exist. Maybe someone was searching the URL name first and they wanna buy the domain name. It's a great name for a website and I suspect that Whoopi Goldberg will top the list.
4. christian woman who loves anal - Maybe it's a spiritual experience for her. It's like communion, only with more lube and less crackers.
5. "piss on her face" - But only after you get her off, please. Be a gentleman.
6. girls geting there bubes hit naked - Seriously, WTF is a BUBE? And why do I wanna start spelling boobs this way?
7. cute gentle lesbians - Sounds like a teddy bear I should buy my cousin for her bday.
8. how to avoid double chin in pictures - Try getting photographed with a foreign object in front of your double chinny chin chin, like an erect penis or a trumpet. That always works.
9. "there ain't nothing sexy about those bitches" - Ain't that the truf, gurlfriend! And that tall one better back off of my man or I'm gonna piss on her face!
10. pregnant girl how to child removed from ass video - I really wasn't gonna touch this one because it's strange enough to stand on its own, but I think some pregnant girl is trying to deliver her baby through her ass!!! Dear gawd, please edumacate this bitch. Or let me be completely wrong.
    

Editor's Note: Strangest Google searches that led people to this site are in italics, words in plain text = my commentary.

1. do the jonas brothers think it is okay to masturbate - Yes, but only while listening to their music.
2. bubes and penis pictures - Nothing disturbes me more than people who can't spell worth shiz trying to look up porn on the internet. Your sex organs should be removed... unless you want pubes on your boobs in which case you're probably gay, dude.
3. another name for male slut - Joe Francis, Brody Jenner, Adam Levine.
4. new titties
5. im an asshole who just got embarassed - I bet you did!
6. michelle's dress looked like toilet paper - And cotton balls.
7. jay z touching beyonce's boob
8. j crew coats that the obama girls whore - Whore? Seriously?! You dumb whore.
9. did jes from rock of love have sex with bret michaels in real life - Probably. I don't see any other way he'd let her get that far in the competition without lots of head and sexy times.
10. hot booty cracks - Ooohhhh! You mean when someone has a fever? Heh. Yes, their entire body's temperature is hotter. This is one of the reasons why docs take temperatures in da booty crack, it gives the most accurate reading.

Editor's Note: Strangest Google searches that led people to this site are in italics, words in plain text = my commentary.

1. putting a spear in someones ass - Sounds like a lot of work, but just a natural progression from putting a spear into wild animals during hunts.
2. girls waxing their face - Ouch!
3. she is not wearing a bra - How would you know that if you weren't staring at her chichis?
4. booty rack
5. "without any panties" - I feel feminine.
6. what does the saying "he has his irish up" mean? - It means Ted Kennedy's jovial mood returned after he was taken to the hospital.
7. arm pit pictures - They totally get me off too.
8. bioncyee - song at last - WOW! Is that really how you think Beyonce's name is spelt?! What kind of huge ass rock have you been hiding under for the past 10 years?
9. looking for fat single ladies
10. wtf was up with the hat aretha franklin was wearing - It was fierce and I wanna wear it sometime while I'm giving a blowjob.

Editor's Note: Craziest Google searches that led people to this site are in bold, words in plain text = my commentary.

1. is a girl with no shame a whore - Oh shiz! This question is timeless... A girl with no shame doesn't consider herself to be a whore, she thinks her lifestyle is healthy, normal and/or beneficial but that does not mean that she ain't no skank! She's a slut if she sleeps around. Period. But if she's responsible about it and enjoys it, she just loves sex. Does she feel as though she's making conscious decisions to sell herself short ? Doubtful. A whore is determined based upon lifestyle not personal perspective. If a skank is sleeping around and she has no shame, she's a shameless whore. Also 'whore' is subjective by nature to both the subject of the label and to others. If the whore doesn't think she is one, than in her mind she is not. If she's having a great time making fuck, it will be difficult for her to feel shame, but her actions determine whether or not she's a slut, that, and if she has a gold teef pimp keepin' her in check.
2. will someone tell beyonce she is fat - If you give me her cell number, sure!
3. fight female crotch - Find the force from within. I have faith that you can win this battle.
4. how to accentuate baby bump - Wear something tight and cup dat shit!
5. in the crack naked pussy pics - I don't speak sex addict, wtf does this mean?
6. how to get a body like samantha ronson - Pussy, redbull and cigarettes only.
7. duct tape nude pics - This sounds funner than naked Twister. I'd wanna duct tape my parts if I knew it wouldn't hurt like hell when the tape is removed. These psychos typing shiz on Google actually edumacate me on what crazy people are into.
8. penis changes - Color in the dark when erect. Someone should make glow in the dark lube. Flavored, please. Gawd, I'm twisted.
9. definitely not gay - Jake Gyllenhaal.
   
10. hot hand job at whore house - Cums for free when you sign up for a night of service.

Good news, the crazies got to POTP yesterday and I had no trouble composing this list of 10 today. :)

Editor's Note: Craziest Google searches that led people to this site are (in Italics) , non-italicized words = my commentary.

1. hot to douch an asshole - ZOMG.
2. gorgeous tits - Keira Knightley, Kevin Federline.
3. child thong - Something Mariah Carey would make her baby daughter wear.

4. crack pipe sluts - Whores who screw for crack? Or whores who light up after having really bad sex?
5. gay boyfriend turned straight? - What Star Jones tried to do with Gay Al, what Sarah Jessica Parker was tryna do with Matthew Broderick and what Jennifer Hudson is doing right now with her gay fiance, Punk.
6. dude+sex+movies
7. who's hotter david beckham vs brad pitt - I don't think the two should be compared... so hard. I'd have to say Brad Pitt because his voice doesn't squeak as much as David Beckham's.
8. i do not understand

Yes, I only have eight inquiries posted today. My Google searches have been boring with unoriginal inquiries like "Britney Spears' pussy" and "Rihanna haircut," it's a little less fun to work with.

I spent forever sifting through days of inquiries on my traffic tracker just to get these eight. No worries, I will fight the good fight and probably just dig through archives until I can find decent inquiries until the head cases get to POTP again via their weird Google searches. I love doing Google searches posts, it allows me to be more liberal in my commentary than typical celebrity gossip does.

My fave Google searches posts are here, here, here but I kind of love 'em all. To re-live the glory days with me just click on the 'Google Searches' label at the bottom of this post.