If Samantha Ronson is ashamed of herself, she has a good way of hiding it. Lindsay Lohan's ex-girlfriend got popped with a DUI while driving from Vegas to L.A. after a DJ gig. Ronson was pulled over for speeding. She refused to take a breathalyzer, but failed a field sobriety test.

The famous DJ was arrested and she posed for the photo above, which is now one of my favorite celebrity mugshot photos. Sam's face basically says "I think you're an idiot cause you don't know that I banged your mom last night." It's either that or "You suck!" Take your pick.

Samantha Ronson seems to be following in the footsteps of ex-girlfriend Lindsay Lohan. The 33 year-old DJ and producer was pulled over for speeding while driving home from Vegas yesterday, and eventually arrested for DUI...at 10:30 in the morning!

If she were anywhere other than Vegas, I'd say Sam must have a serious drinking problem to be that hammered that early in the day, but those casinos are like black holes with booze. You go inside; there are no clocks, windows, or last calls...sometimes you stumble out onto the street and realize it's noon.

No word yet on just how over the legal limit Sam was, but sources say she refused an initial test and was transported to a nearby station where she was found to be too tipsy to drive and placed under arrest.

(Photo: Fame)

One day out of rehab and Lindsay Lohan is already stirring up drama. I give her til the end of this week to wind up back in Betty Ford.

LiLo's got a ballin' new beachfront crib to help ease her transition back into the real world and the really surprising news isn't that she can afford to buy a house (which she apparently purchased with all the money she's saved on Four Loko in the last 3 months), but that the house is coincidentally right next door to Lindsay's lezzie ex, Samantha Ronson. Needless to say, Sam is less than thrilled that her crackhead ex will be coming over to borrow cups of sugar.

A source who witnessed the Lohan crew moving her into the new digs reports that Sam stepped outside, saw the disaster unfolding next door and responded the only way one can respond to Lindsay Lohan moving into the neighborhood. "She was shaking her head and looking disgusted," the source says. "She kept saying, 'I didn't plan it this way.'" You didn't plan to have your new neighbor knock on your door at 3 am to borrow ten bucks "for the bus"? Well, get used to it.

When photographers asked Sam if she had any New Year's resolutions, she replied, "No, I'm too pissed off right now." Awesome. I almost feel like I shouldn't be joking around about this, because it's guaranteed to end in bloodshed. I should really save the jokes for then.

Apparently, Christina Aguilera divorced Jordan Bratman so that she could live out her lifelong dream of becoming a frat boy. All she wants to do is get wasted and bang chicks!

Seen here drunk as a mofo on Halloween, Christina has apparently been seeing a lot of Samantha Ronson lately. By which I mean, she's been seeing her frequently AND she's been seeing her boobies. At first I thought there was no way the Sam Ronson rumors were true. It sounded a little too perfect: Christina Aguilera dumps her husband for Lindsay Lohan's fugly ex-girlfriend? It just sounds like BS. The thing is, people keep talking about it and no one's come forward to deny it...

In fact, London paper The Sun published some choice quotes from a friend of Sam's who quoted the DJ as saying, "Sam said she had a threesome with Xtina in Mexico last month, that's when she realized she was a 'hot piece of @ss.' Sam said Xtina is 'horny as a college freshman.'"

Well, if you can get over how annoying it is that dude keeps calling her "Xtina," that's a pretty amazing quote. What's the deal with Sam Ronson? Is she a friggin' vampire? She looks like Gollum from Lord of the Rings, but she hits hotter celeb ass than anyone. When is she gonna publish a book to let dudes in on the secret of having hot Mexican threesomes with horny, recently-divorced MILFS? Obviously, Sam can use those nimble fingers of hers for more than just spinning records.

It was just a few days ago that Samantha Ronson fired back at Joan Rivers for insulting Lindsay Lohan on Twitter. Team Samantha!

Samantha is there for her ex in her time of need.

Gawd knows the last thing I wanna be doing when I'm Joan's age is posting juvenile tweets about someone young enough to be my grandchild. I rather be serving my man Viagra laced coffee in the morning so I can get my sexercise in for the day before my nap.

Joan's tweets:

• "Lindsay Lohan said she wouldn't mind being under oath because she thought Oath was a Norwegian ski instructor."

• "Lindsay Lohan is so dumb. Her idea of being sworn in is cursing at the judge."

• "I was just reading about the new Lindsay Lohan diet, which is all liquid. 80 Proof."

• "Lindsay Lohan had "F*ck You" painted on her nails. What people don't know is that the judge had "Eat me you party skank," painted on hers."

Samantha's response:

• "Hey Joan Rivers- you have collagen older than Lindsay, pick on someone your own age, oh wait, I guess people that old can't hear. #bully"

I've always enjoyed Samantha's snark and I think she's good for LiLo. Kim Kardashian may have dropped off some Chinese food for Linds, but Samantha is spending time with her and she's being supportive when Lindsay needs the support the most. I can respect that.

Everyone has their panties in a bunch over this picture of Lindsay Lohan holding a gun to her mouth. It's not like it's the real thing, and she's about to pull the trigger! The photos were taken by Tyler Shields, and if you look at his photos you'll notice he's got a fetish for blood, guns, and sex.

In other Lindsay news, her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson has lashed out at Lindsay and her cocaine problem on Twitter after running into Lindsay at Timbaland's birthday party last night.

"'I'm not here. This isn't happening.' If I sing that to myself enough times will it be true?" she wrote before following up in the next two hours with even more telling tweets. "One more thing- if you're gonna be an idiot an do coke- do it outside the bathroom- some of us actually use them to pee in," Ronson added.

Pow! Right in the kisser! Of course Lindsay responded but it doesn't make much sense to me.

"I'm pretty sure that @samantharonson just threw a fit @33years old and my friend tal @draishollywood illegally open NOW at this hour, Asked me, after being here jus for Timbalands birthday-to leave even though she stayed over just 2nights ago-tired of @samantharonson."

This brought on another Tweet from Sam that read "Jack and crack will make for some crazy tweets." You know what else makes for some crazy tweets? S'mores. Oh wait, that's treats. Duh.

According to Radar Online, friends close to Lindsay are urging her to go back to rehab. Pals who previously shrugged off Lindsay's drug problem are now seeing how serious the situation has become. Lindsay listen to your friends and get your *ss some help! You're on a fast road to going six feet under if you don't clean your sh*t up.

Lindsay Lohan and her fauxmosexual a*s told The Sun that Samantha Ronson is the only one who will bring her out of lesbian retirement.

Before Sam, Lindsay was a maneater with an insatiable hunger. Then she switched to fish tacos, but things didn't work out so well for her.

Linds said: "If I wasn't with Samantha, I would probably be with a boy next. She's the only woman I've been attracted to. We love each other. We might reconcile the relationship, maybe. I don't know."

Stalker status!

Lindsay also says that Samantha's family is "very involved" in her relationships, which makes it "difficult." Lindsay says that SamRo's friends made Linds feel like an outcast and she thinks Sam's friends are jealous because Samantha's becoming more famous than the rest of them. So is Lindsay implying that Samantha's star power fades when she's not dating Lindsay? I don't wanna agree with her. I plead the Fifth.

Dating a woman like Lindsay Lohan is a form of abuse all by itself. But "sources" have told Radar that Samantha Ronson gets physical with Lindsay Lohan, and we're not talking about the God knows what they engage in between the sheets kind of 'physical.'

A source claims, “One time I saw her [Lindsay] and she had a large welt on her head. She told me that Sam beat the (bleep) out of her. She also said that Sam even punched and choked her one time.”

Following a break-in at Lindsay's Hollywood Hills home, Linds moved into an apartment in West Hollywood where Sam also lives. Sam "regularly comes over" using a key she has to Lindsay's place.

“It’s so twisted. They’re not together, but they are. I never thought I’d ever say this, but I really do feel sorry for Lindsay. She is just lost. She’s alone. She has no friends to turn to.”

This story has about as much credibility as must-write-notes-on-her-hand-to-give-speech Sarah Palin. It's all about a story's source and Radar is BFFLs with Michael Lohan, who may have provided this more than likely fabricated story to begin with. The story ends with: Michael Lohan has repeatedly expressed concern that Lindsay’s behavior is being negatively effected by the prescription drugs she’s taking and that she is taking too many.

SamRo is passive and that's why her friends have wanted her to stay away from batsh*t Lindsay. Samantha also looks like she weighs as much as one of my thighs. Lindsay is the aggressive one. If we're talking about who's more likely to punch or choke out who, it's gotta be Lindsay Blohan!

Of all people I would call a diva, Samantha Ronson wouldn't be one of them. I guess I'm wrong! Samantha showed some serious diva attitude at a night club earlier this week when she proceeded to take over the DJ booth when she wasn't even there to perform.

Sources tell Radar that Samantha literally stumbled into the Hollywood club H.Wood the other night acting bizarrely and erratically. She walked over to the DJ booth and took control of the music. DJ Jus Ske who was working at the time was beyond p*ssed when Samantha took the controls over from him. 

"I don’t know exactly what she said to him, but it was something dismissive like ‘I got this now.’ Like he was a flunkie understudy or something who was just there to keep her seat warm.”

The owners allowed Sam to DJ but after a half an hour they realised she wasn't even DJing. She was playing an old mixed tape and the owners told her it was time to give up the DJ duties which sent her into a hissy fit.

“Sam was humiliated and started making a big scene. She was ranting, saying stuff like who did the owners think they were, how dare they tell her to pack up, calling them ungrateful, telling them they should feel privileged, etc.”

Samantha grabbed her sh*t and left the club, but she pulled a quickie that would keep the club silent for the rest of the night. She took their audio cables with her and they couldn't play any more music for the rest of the night. That is funny! Not only was she being a b*tch, but she was a smart b*tch and screwed them over. Lindsay Lohan must be so proud of her ex-lesbian lover.

I liked Aubrey O'Day when she was trying out on Making The Band because she was a normal talented girl. She made the group, got a big head, inflated just about every part of her body that she possibly could with plastic surgery, and now she looks like a blow-up doll. Hey, blow-up dolls need lovin' too!

Since Aubrey is looking for attention bisexual, she tried out some sexy dances for Lindsay Lohan's ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson at the Nascar Champions party at club Lavo in Las Vegas, but was totally denied. Ha, ha!

"She was doing everything to get Samantha's attention, including grinding her derriere on the glass partition that blocked off the booth. Samantha totally ignored her."

She probably didn't just have her butt on the glass and smeared her vag on it to try and get Sam's attention like a dog in heat. Aubrey ruined herself with plastic surgery and people must think she'll pop a leak if they do something as simple as grab her as*.