Sarah Silverman
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The sex tape you never wanted to see might exist. There's rumors hitting the 'net today that Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman have a sex tape.

The two supposedly made the tape while on vacation a few years ago and forgot to take the camera with them. An employee at the resort is attempting to sell the tape, but who really wants to pay for that?

In the 15 minute tape, the two get their groove on the boring old folks way, straight missionary style. I'd watch it. I've seen German chicks with pigs, dudes with horses and Asian ladies playing with each other while vomiting in a bathtub. I'm not scared of some Jimmy Kimmel action.

Sarah, doll face, you're hilarious. And pretty. Jimmy Kimmel? He looks like he's squinting, and he's got a gut, and his O-face must suck, because let's face it, his face already looks like he's stuck in mid-climax. Like, no one keeps their eyes fully open when they cum, and his eyes look halfway closed already, which means you can't trust him. Never trust a man with a bad O-face. It's a red flag that things will not end in your favor.

Sarah Silverman isn't over her Jimmy, so she dolled herself up to flaunt her sexy while accepting her award at the Creative Arts Emmys for her (I'm you know what-ing Matt Damon), letting the crowd know Jimmy Kimmel dumped her ass. Anyone else see this breakup coming?

"Let's be honest, Matt Damon had very little to do with this being popular. Thanks to the person for whom this whole video was made: Jimmy Kimmel, who broke my heart �" ohh, who'll always have a place in my heart.

Kimmel and Silverman split in July. The Creative Arts Emmys air on E! Saturday Sept. 20.

At least she got a friggin' Emmy outta her breakup. All I get is a high cell phone bill, less sleep from all the porn watching, pricey tabs at the bar and hairy legs because I'm no longer inspired to shave.

We all need some compensation after a heart-wrenching split.

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Similar to just about every Hollywood breakup, a source said "the breakup was mutual," and their reps issued a statement saying, "Jimmy and Sarah will have no further comment." Uh, was that a punchline? I expect a hell of a lot more from these two.

Silverman, 37, was spotted at Hugos in West Hollywood on Saturday with a male friend.

"She really looked like she was in good spirits. She was laughing and smiling. Very animated."

But a few minutes later, Silverman �" who ate organic quinoa topped with fresh fruit �" grew somber.

Mutual friend Jonah Hill �" who has appeared in comedy skits on Kimmel's ABC show �" was dining in the restaurant and also stopped by to say hello.

"Jonah's appearance definitely had an effect on her. They spoke for just a minute. And after he left, Sarah looked momentarily pensive."

The pair met during a roast for Hugh Hefner, where Silverman told the audience he was fat and joked he had no charisma �" but that didn't stop them from working together.

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