People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive and GQ's Babe of the Year (which is a real thing, apparently) have decided to call it quits.

Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson announced today that they are officially dunzo after two years of marriage. They issued a statement saying, "After long and careful consideration on both our parts, we've decided to end our marriage. While privacy isn't expected, it's certainly appreciated." Pssshhht. Right. Good luck with that whole privacy thing. The whole world's been waiting for these two to split since the day they got married. It's not right or fair for two of the most attractive people alive to be screwing each other exclusively. Spread some of those good genes around a bit, ya know?

I, for one, am not the least bit surprised by this news. That's too much sexy for one relationship. You can't both be the pretty one. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie make it work, only because they don't go anywhere without 800 foreign babies, so they never have to talk to each other. Plus, Brad is aging into some sort of weird, bearded vagrant, while Ryan seems to have discovered another new ab muscle every time he takes his shirt off. Dude's basically rockin' a 30 pack at this point.

The silver lining to all this is that now Scarlett should be available for that lesbian threesome I suggested earlier.

Because men's magazines pride themselves on telling readers which women you should jack to, GQ magazine has named Scarlett Johansson its "Babe of the Year."

Scarlett Johansson is a babe of the decade for me. She's no Megan Fox, she's actually smart. Ryan Reynolds' wife also doesn't need makeup to look good like Katy Perry. She's one curvy, stunning package with an irresistibly sexy, deep and raspy voice; plus her fake tan looks great here.

GQ described why Scarlett won the title: "At 26, she remains fresh-faced, curious, trying on new moods and outlets of expression as easily as she changes her hair color... All the while still seem genuinely like the observant, inquisitive (and very cute) girl in transition we fell for in Lost in Translation."

I'm surprised it wasn't reported that Scarlett is "23 years old" for another year in a row just like Blake Lively's been 22 for like the past five years. Congrats to one of my favorite hot b!tches!

I shy away from speculating that women who aren't emaciated are preggers, but Scarlett Johansson looks thicker to me, plus she's wearing black. With the exception of anorexic homewrecker Angelina Jolie (who only wears all black), when a woman is wearing all black, it's a huge knocked up red flag! I mean, cause who wants to wear all black and who wants to wear all black in Sun Diego?

ScarJo made an appearance at Comic-Con in San Diego on Saturday to promote her upcoming role in The Avengers. Scarlett is gorgeous, but the problem with short hair is that it makes your face appear rounder; but she's already married to Ryan Reynolds so it's not like she needs to impress anyone. Scarlett was thin and super gorgeous at the MTV Movie Awards which were not too long ago. I can't believe that she put on some weight so quickly. Maybe she's already letting herself go cause she's married now? That was fast.

UPDATE: The lighting on my PC is horrific and Scarlett's outfit isn't as blurry on my Mac and she doesn't look nearly as big as I thought she did when I originally made this post.

Sandra Bullock made her triumphant return to the spotlight at last night's 2010 MTV Movie Awards. Sandra looked amazing in her short mini-dress. Twerk! And Scarlett Johansson looked beautiful.

Chemistry? Hot? Not so much. 'It's Britney b*tch!' knows how to pull off a hot girl on girl kiss.

Sandra came out on stage and gave another awesome, memorable speech. She also kissed her former co-star Ryan Reynolds' wife, ScarJo. Sandra obviously hasn't been dating or boinking anyone since her sudden split from Jesse James. Her heart was clearly much more into the kiss than Scarlett's was.

Jump in for the video.

Scarlett Johansson has always had some great curves, but they disappeared last year and she blamed her weight loss on her workouts for Iron Man 2. 

But ScarJo graces the cover of InStyle and it looks like she's on her way back to her D-cup glory. She still needs to gain more weight to be as curvy as she was, but you can barely tell the difference now.

Scarlett Johansson looks svelte and curvy on the Iron Man 2 movie poster.

Loved for her talent and her curves, Scarlett's wonderful boobs disappeared when she got bobblehead thin. She claimed that her weight loss was due to all the working out she did for Iron Man 2. Here's hoping ScarJo has gained her weight back and her lady lumps have returned to their D-cup glory like they appear to be in this Photoshopped and airbrushed picture.

Iron Man 2 comes out May 7.

Scarlett Johansson is looking seriously yummy in these new campaign ads for Mango. Scarlett replaced Penelope Cruz as the face of Mango three seasons ago, and I must say they made a good choice picking Scar Jo. She's fierce and fabulous.

I totally love this trench dress she's wearing but you've gotta have the right curves to pull it off. If you're packing too many curves, you're just gonna look like Chris Farley doing the fat guy in a little coat on Tommy Boy.

I love ScarJo, but her voice is horrible. She sounds like a dying moose at best and her singing is mildly impressive. But the "24-year-old" actress will star in the Broadway revival of A View From the Bridge.

The show will run for 14 weeks in New York. It officially begins on Jan. 24, but preview performances will start on Dec. 28.

Scarlett Johansson will be playing a 17-year-old orphaned niece, which is strange considering that she sounds like a 35 year-old man. But when you're an orphan, life is rough and can force you to grow up a lil faster. It could work.

Scarlett Johansson brings her pale sexiness to the cover and pages of the November issue of Glamour magazine. The 25 year-old, cough, actress opens up on getting married to Ryan Reynolds last September. She also talks about her stage fright.

On Ryan:

"I never really thought about getting married – it just kind of happened. It seemed natural, the right thing to do. It was kind of a celebration of the time... I'm kind of making my own little family now, which is funny .It’s like a little bit of a tribe. You hope that a relationship makes you better, that you learn things about yourself."

On stage fright:

"I would love to work on Broadway, but I don’t know that it would manifest itself in musical theater ... I have terrible stage fright that I'd have to get over. It came on when I was a teenager, and I think it somehow sticks with you."

"I love to get ready for the red carpet, but being on it is very uncomfortable. It's so freakish and weird. I get flop sweats, dry mouth, heart palpitations, all-over panic!"

On rumors about her weightloss:

"There was this rumor mill cranking out stories that I had lost 14 pounds -- I could never lose 14 pounds. I can't look at somebody who is 6 feet tall and 120 pounds and say, I'm going to get that body. That's just never going to happen. You have to work with what you've got."

While the haters can keep hating, Scarlett Johansson keeps making it rain. She was the face of Louis Vuitton, she's been the face of Dolce & Gabbana, and she may be the face of other companies I can't think of right now, but I digress.

Here's Scarlett Johansson's ad for D&G's new fragrance, Rose The One. She has already been featured in its cosmetics ads.

Someone should make Scarlett the face of hair products. I can already picture ScarJo shaking her head like her hair's on fire for L'Oreal shampoo because she's worth it. Someone would have to do the voice over, though, cause Scarlett sounds like a homeless man when she speaks. She's kind of like Rihanna: confident enough to make anything sexy. Scarlett would even look hawt while promoting hemorrhoids cream.