Scheana Marie Jancan
News

John Mayer is many kinds of whore: man whore, attention whore, twitter whore, fame whore and I'm sure other kinds of whore that we don't know about. Did you read that, all? All those 'whore' references are gonna get me in trouble with my ad companies. Long, fun weekend. Maybe I'm still buzzing, that's my excuse.

After reports surfaced last week that Johnny is dating cocktail waitress Scheana Marie Jancan, John Player talked to the paparazzi - like he usually does to update them on his penis' whereabouts - and told X17 that he does not have a girlfriend. Translation: John Player ditched the cocktail waitress when their f*ckship went public.

John said,

"If I had a girlfriend, she would be incredibly offended by me saying, 'I don't have a girlfriend.' That's how you can be sure. I could say, 'I'm not with anybody.' That'd be a death wish if you were the woman. I'm not with anybody, you'd have to go home and take a lashing for the next three weeks! So that's the proof."

I dunno how John Player manages to get any girl. He's hot and talented, but I don't like jerks. You know that's not true at all but it does sound good on paper, doesn't it?

Twenty three year-old aspiring actress and waitress Scheana Marie Jancan is John Mayer's future ex.

The two met when Scheana served John Mayer drinks at The Grand Havana Room. John started to feed her lines and then asked for her numba.

“Scheana was shocked and thrilled when John asked her out. She has always thought he was hot, and she said yes right away, writing down her cell phone number on a napkin. They flirted the whole time, and he told her she was cute.”

Scheana has modeled for Ed Hardy and Doritos. She was also a runner-up in a Hawaiian Tropic Pageant. The airhead also says hanging out at John Player's house is "like Spring Break" cause there's always food and beer around. She also says John Player is "very tender, sweet and creative." I wanna eff him to!

How does one womanizer get so lucky? Every girl John humps sings his praises: Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, Minka Kelly, this ho, Jennifer Love Hewitt?