Scott Disick is allegedly seriously considering giving Kourtney Kardashian the boot and he plans to move back to New York. Episodes from scripted episodes of this season's Kourtney and Kim Take New York feature Scott and Kourtney's troubled relationship: they sleep in different beds, Kourtney has put Mason Dash Disick first, they're not having enough sex, etc.

In Touch Weekly reports that “unbeknownst to Kourtney, Scott has hatched a secret plan to ditch her, their son, Mason, 2, and the new baby – and move cross-country to New York.”

The tabloid claims that Scott has reached out to his old group of friends in NY and says that he wants to " start partying again and launch a club in the city.”

The magazine's source claims that Disick's relationship with Kourtney "isn't real" and that he's only with her "because he's getting paid."

I would say that the K-crew should sue In Touch Weekly over this rumor, but they're the ones who probably created it themselves! Scott is a very loving and proud father and you can tell that he's pretty crazy about Kourtney as well.

Photo: Wenn

It's finally here - the douchiest, most pretentious holiday tradition of all! The Kardashian Christmas card was revealed today, and, as expected, it featured the entire family (and Scott Disick) pretending to be high-fashion models. But after deciding last year's card wasn't ridiculous enough, Kim and krew decided to go the extra mile this time around. How?

3D! Seriously, the card's in 3D for those recipients who care enough to buy glasses. I don't know what's worse - that they went to the extravagant extreme of sending out a 3D Christmas card, or that that they didn't even include the freakin' glasses!

But we can forgive the moronic special effects. The card is worth it just for the sight of Kim standing by herself, doing her best to look fierce. Whoever photoshopped the tears out did a wonderful job.

I’ve been saying this FOREVER, but Scott Disick is totally Patrick Bateman 2.0. And American Psycho author Bret Easton Ellis agrees.

It all started when Kourtney Kardashian’s baby daddy tweeted about Lionsgate’s interest in a remake of the 2000 flick, calling it the “best news” and hoping they’d contact him.

Ellis tweeted in response, “I have warned Lionsgate that I will not approve a new version of American Psycho unless it stars SCOTT DISICK or MILES FISHER.”

I don’t know how much he’s joking, but this is amazing. Scott is perfect for the role, no acting required. He already has the business suits, crazy eyes, and sociopathic @sshole written all over him. Ellis sold the movie rights a while back, but make this happen! It will be equal parts horrible and horrifying.

Since the last Kardashian marriage didn't exactly go as planned, the family is now reportedly planning a take two, as Kourtney Kardashian and her douchey baby daddy Scott Disick are finally ready to walk down the aisle, following the announcement that Kourt is expecting the couple's second child. 

Entertainment Tonight reports that a source close to the family claims a wedding between Kourtney and Scott is "imminent," but adds the eldest Kardashian will not follow in her sister's footsteps by hosting a lavish star-studded affair. Quite the contrary, Kourtney is said to be planning a low-key ceremony involving only close friends and family.

The wedding will apparently take place in the Kardashian home, and at this time there is "no word on whether it will be televised," which, of course, means it totally will be televised. At this point, the Kardashians probably wouldn't bother breathing in and out if there weren't a camera crew on hand to capture the moment, so the thought of a wedding with no commercial breaks is pretty hilarious.

(Photos: WENN)

Kim Kardashian's master plan has worked! Last night's premiere of Kourtney & Kim Take New York was the series' most-watched season premiere ever! Kourtney Kardashian, Scott Disick and Kim's prop husband Kris Humphries' opener drew 3.2 million viewers.

TV by the Numbers reports: It exceeded last season’s premiere by +6% while also posting the series’ most-watched premiere among the coveted Persons 18-49 and Women 18-49 audience, up +8% over last season’s premiere and delivering over 1.7 million Women 18-49 viewers, up +10% over last season’s premiere.

Naturally folks want to watch Kim and Kris' marriage derail because we all love a scripted train wreck. I knew Kim and Kourt's show would have a strong premiere. Their season premiere ratings are just like Ashton Kutcher's Two and a Half Men premiere ratings. More people than ever tuned in, but the audience kept shrinking week after week. The Kardashians have done it all. Khloe will get knocked up eventually and Kourtney will get married, but there isn't much more they can do... Maybe Kris Jenner will convince Kendall to get knocked up soon.

Awwww. If only people knew what a slut Kristin Cavallari is IRL, they wouldn't be surprised about this story! Kourtney Kardashian banned Scott from visiting the DWTS set to watch Rob Kardashian compete because she had learned that he had sex with Kristin. Kourtney and Kristin were close friends for years, and were often photographed hanging out together, yet that didn't stop Kristin from sleeping with Kourtney's man!

Life & Style magazine reports that Kristin and Scott Disick hooked up while Scott and Kourtney were on a break (shortly before she got pregnant with Mason). But the betrayal didn't end there!

"Scott and Kristin were hooking up on and off for a year, maybe even two. When Kourt and Scott would fight, he’d party with Kristin and hook up.”

Sounds about right to me!! Jay Cutler doesn't know what he has comin' if he actually wifes up Kristin.

Kourtney Kardashian and Kim are still pretending to get along in the newest season of their show, Kourtney and Kim Take New York. Kris Humphries is now a part of the show and he has some issues with Scott Disick, as well as his wife Kimmy K!

This promo really shocked me because whether or not Kris is being fed lines, he clashes with Kim. They're polar opposites. Kim is sensitive and Kris doesn't give a f*ck. It's just so sad that Kim didn't think about who she was marrying first; Kris is not doing the LA thing and he's not a good enough basketball player to last much longer in the NBA anyway. I gave Kim and Kris a chance and I wished 'em the best, but they are so friggin' doomed. Watch and gasp at what Kristopher tells his attention whore wife at the end of this clip!

Kourtney and Kim Take New York Season 4

Sorry boys. I know you don't wanna read about Scott Disick's penis, so go ahead and skip over this post. Translation: I know you're going to totally read this post and I apologize. We previously reported that when Kris Jenner walked in on Scott on an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, she told Kim that he has a big dick. The K-Sisters were doing a radio interview to promote their crappy new lingerie line for Sears, when the female DJ asked them about what their men are packing.

Kim was asked if Kris Humphries is well endowed and Kimmy answered "I don't really like questions like that." Good for her! Khloe Kardashian claimed that Scott had a bulge today and Kim said "it's way too much" and he needs to wear underwear. Kourtney proudly chimed in that Scott's penis is "like an elephant's trunk!"

This is why some men suffer from such a complex. Women who are with men who are packing heat love to brag about it. I mean, damn. If I were Kourtney, I'd pull a Kim Kardashian. The last thing you should do is inform the public that your man is packin'. You're practically begging the ladies to get him in a corner and rip off his belt.

Photo: Wenn

Kris Humphries may not get along with the rest of the Kardashians, but he’s become buddy-buddy with the token @sshole of the family, Kourtney Kardashian’s baby daddy Scott Disick. It makes sense. Because, you know, if there's one person in the Kardashian-Jenner clan you want on your side, it is totally Scott Disick. Everyone loves him.

Kris told Us Weekly that his new man friend has been giving him lots of advice and they’ve gotten much closer...and now we can all feel Kris getting progressively douchier with each passing moment.

“Scott is full of tips, man. I don’t know which I should take and which I shouldn’t take. But Scott and I are becoming closer because we’re hanging out a lot in New York. We’re just all about living life.”

Here’s a hint about which tips Kris should take: NONE. Scott is a little man child whose hair is always gelled and constantly looks like an uglier version of Christian Bale in American Psycho. Do you not spot the crazy in his eyes? Boy, you blind.

Photo: Wenn