Simon van Kempen
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It was just last week that I posted a story about Kim Zolciak saying that she is still in a sex-for-wigs relationship with Big Papa. But Us Weekly claims that Kimmy's a born again lesbian and she's pulling a Lindsay Lohan and dating a DJ.

DJ Tracy Young and Kim Zolciak have been bumping snatches for three months, according to Us magazine. The two stepped out together at the Blacks' Annual Gala in Miami Beach on Saturday.

Young remixed Kim's "Tardy for the Party" and was overheard saying, "We're really happy!" Can you imagine that? You're famous and if someone says "We're really happy" while they're in close proximity to you, it means you're engaged in a raging f*ckship with that individual. Ya gotta love it.

"Tracy broke up with her longtime girlfriend to be with Kim... They seem to be beyond happy with each other."

Last week, Real Housewives of New York star Simon van Kempen hinted to Us that Zolciak's sexuality would be a storyline on the Bravo reality series. "The rumor is that Kim Zolciak will come out this season," he told Us at the Season 3 screening party at Tenjune in NYC.

Less than half an hour ago, Kim tweeted the following: WOW...who the hell is Simon van Kempen? Talking abt me in US weekly. Give me a break...Get ur facts straights, Never met that man in my life

Why didn't Kim also say that she's dating Big Poppa and that she's straight?!!!

Isn't Simon van Kempen the gayest straight man you have ever seen? He is more flamboyant than drag queens. He is more feminine than all the women on The Real Housewives of New York City put together. He. Is. Gay.

Simon van Kempen, on the other hand, claims that he's a straight dude. Uh, yeah. Is that why many straight and gay men and women say that Simon's a closet case? My gaydar goes up in flames whenever I see Simon on The Real Housewives of New York City.

Simon is trying to cock block, though, and says he's hetero.

"If I was gay, I would be gay, but I'm not! I don't want to have sex with men! If other manifestations of gay means that I like to wear nice clothes and go shopping, then I guess that's fine! I love fashion, but I love my beautiful wife. That makes me gay? I mean, I've worn Speedos — therefore, I must be gay!" - If you're not Michael Phelps, than hells yeah!

"Hopefully, in season three we can get over that. I am Simon, I am not anything more than that. I'm just a loving husband."