Skinny Ass Bitches

Ioana Spangenberg is a 30 year-old model who is 5 feet 6 inches tall and has a 20-inch waist. She insists that she eats "three big meals" everyday and snacks on "chocolate and [chips] all the time." Ioana insists that her figure is natural. "I just have a small stomach," she says.

Ioana tells The Sun: "If I eat too much I feel sick."

She weighed 7 lbs. at birth and her body transformed when she was a teenager. She insists that she has tried to gain weight.

She met her German husband Jan in 2006 and he encouraged her to model. "I would still like to gain weight so I don't look so shocking. And now that I live in Germany I can't get enough pizza or kebabs."

She's a circus freak!!!!!!! Just being real.

Jennifer Hudson lost a sh*t ton of weight and she loves talking about it, which is cool because she hasn’t yet gone the Kirstie Alley route. Now you can’t escape her singing Weight Watchers commercials (seriously, try to get through an episode of Dance Moms without seeing J-Hudson belt it out back-to-back).

Jen can wrap her hands around her waist like nothing!

No doubt, she looks great, but she says she’s still having difficulty adjusting to her new, slimmer bod.

Jennifer says, “Because it’s a new body, I’m trying to find out, how do I want to be perceived? Who is this new me? I knew how to be the big girl, but now I have to find out how to be this girl.”

We love that she’s lost weight and looks healthy, but people don’t want to hear about the problems that skinny b!tches have being skinny. Having a “new me” is like, um, the best excuse to get new clothes EVER. Especially when you have the money to buy/borrow a whole new wardrobe.

Photo: Wenn

When LeAnn Rimes was first taking bikini photos and putting them up on Twitter, all of her bones were stickin' out. She then had a field day, posting Tweet after Tweet for what seemed like forever about how she isn't too thin and she's eating ice cream and drumsticks.

Now she doesn't have to tell us about her fake menu, cause the proof is in the new photos. Rimes looks much much healthier! She was photographed with Eddie Cibrian in Hawaii and she is looking better than she has since she stole Brandi Glanville's husband. Her breast implants don't look so fake now that she has some meat on dem bones. I didn't really think she could pull off the emaciated look long-term. There are only a few Nicole Richie's in Hollywood who can remain on the starvation diet for years and years.

Ali Lohan looks dangerously thin, but her mom Dina Lohan makes it sound like we have the problem. Dina argues that Ali's completely fine. Dina said that she "doesn't read any of the rubbish" that's printed about Ali's weight. Oh snap. I guess she's British now too.

Ali before and after her dramatic weight loss

Dina adds that she "would never condone plastic surgery at such a young age," and that her daughter is awesome, as if that means she's healthy?! "Ali is a wonderful person and an amazing soul."

In a recent interview with Page Six magazine, Ali said that "she's always had a fast metabolism and is able to eat what she wants, from scrambled eggs with American cheese and hot sauce to Nutella."

It really doesn't matter what you eat. If you're sick, you're sick, which is exactly what Ali is IMHO.

A lot of attention has been paid to Angelina Jolie's physique lately, with plenty of bizarre rumors circulating about the extremes the actress goes to to conform to the Hollywood norm. But the new issue of Us Weekly claims that Angelina's scary skinny appearance has little to do with vanity.

According to an anonymous source close to Angelina, her rapid weight loss is the result of her work as a UN goodwill ambassador. The source claims Angelina, “puts herself on fasts to make statements for the children she visits,” under the reasoning of "‘if they can’t eat, I can’t eat.’”

Angelina may be a little crazy (and crazily devoted to her charity campaigns) but I have a hard time believing a cultured, intelligent mother of six would put her own health in jeopardy as part of some misguided attempt to better relate to the children she's trying to help. If any part of this report is true then Angelina is doing her UN work for all the wrong reasons, and she needs to pull back and limit her philanthropy to adopting a Sally Struthers kid, or something. You can't help anyone if you're passed out from malnutrition, Ange. 

(Photos: WENN)

Angelina Jolie allegedly weighs around 97 pounds and she rarely eats a full meal, if she eats at all. According to Grazia magazine, Angelina has as little as 600 calories a day.

'Angelina has been known to start her day with little more than a spoonful of coconut oil and a handful of cereal,' a source told Grazia last week.

She is "so busy" that she often forgets to eat. She'll skip lunch or grab a few almonds and some gummy bears while she's on the go. Other times she'll have a protein-based shake.

Jolie reportedly loses her appetite when she's stressed and she can survive on almost nothing.

We don't need some predictable new rumor to surface in order to see that Angelina needs to gain weight. She's been a bobblehead for years, and I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Brad has argued with her about her shrinking figure, but she clearly just doesn't care.

Lady Gaga raked in four awards at the 2011 MTV Europe Music Awards, but that’s not big news. What’s actually interesting is all the shiz she apparently demanded backstage at the Belfast, Ireland event. According to British tabloid Daily Star, the singer specifically requested her dressing room be kept at 90 degrees and stocked with lots and lots of pureed baby food. Why? Because Tracy Anderson said so!

"GaGa is sticking to [workout guru Tracy Anderson’s] diet to the letter. It includes pureed food and snacks. It’s healthy, but just sounds weird when she demands it in her dressing room.”

Yeah...healthy. That’s the word. There’s been a lot of rumors about Gaga being on a baby food diet, which I’d normally dismiss as stupid gossip, but I can’t even conceive what food she’d eat in the first place. I don’t want to be too judgmental (HA!), but there’s a reason that BABIES eat baby food. Normal food just takes too f**king good.

Photo: Fame

Kristen Stewart covers the new issue of Vogue Italia and in the pictorial inside the mag, she's her usual mopey, sullen self. But the goth routine is nothing new for Mrs. R-Pattz. No, what's really likely to catch the public's attention are her comments about her own weight. There's nothing people hate more than a skinny b!tch braggin'.

"I’m naturally skinny," Kristen said in the interview. "We’re all like this in my family, so I don’t have to exercise a lot or go on a diet. I do all the exercise I need on set." Let the hate begin! First of all, Kristen is 21, an age at which a lot of people find that they're "naturally skinny." Many of us didn't know what the inside of a gym looked like in our early 20s, but we weren't dumb enough to think it would always be that easy.

Second, these Hollywood hoes need to STFU about how easy it is to stay skinny. For one, they're alienating their fan bases. Two, it's easy to stay fit when you're extraordinarily wealthy?! Wow. In other news, water is wet. Kristen has been rich and lived in LA for the majority of her life. She's probably vaguely aware of the existence of fast food. Gimme a personal trainer (you know she has one) and a life where I can snap my fingers and a salad appears, and in two months you'll be able to grate cheese on my abs. It's not my fault there was nothing in my fridge for breakfast this morning but beer and Country Crock.

In the wake of the Ashton Kutcher cheating scandal, there's been obvious concern for the well-being of Ashton's wife, Demi Moore. That concern has only grown after Demi appeared in public recently looking noticeably thinner than usual.

Normally, weight loss is applauded in Hollywood, but in Demi's case there's talk that it's the result of substance abuse or nerves, and her friends are understandably worried. "She is superskinny, and it's hard to look at," one friend tells Us Weekly. Another adds, "She's very upset, and hasn't been eating. It's taking a toll."

The sources go on to claim Demi has been "skipping meals" either as a result of anxiety, or as part of some misguided effort to tone down in an effort to win Ashton back. As always, reports from these anonymous "friends" need to be taken with a grain of salt, but Demi's appearance in recent weeks is undeniably troubling. Here's hoping she puts some pounds back on soon.

(Photo: WENN)