Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag recently explained why they got fired from The Hills. In a very humbling interview, Spencer said that "reality TV is not a career" and that anyone who tells you that is lying, a sentiment Jon Gosselin later pretty much quoted verbatim. Spencer's 15 minutes have dried up and he owes his talent agency a lot of money.

Things are so bad for Pratt that his agent doesn't even pick up his phone calls.

Even his agent won’t answer his calls! Heidi Montag’s hubby, 28, still owes his agency “hundreds of thousands of dollars in commissions” from the millions he and Montag, 25, earned on MTV.

The worst part about Spencer's situation is that his agent isn't helping him to get new gigs because he owes him. Pratt calls his agent up to 30 times a day.

Spencer Pratt and his plastic wife are finally confessing their sings. Spencer and Heidi say that they mismanaged their money and that "everything" they were doing "in retrospect, was a mistake." They're finally maturing! I feel like a proud gossip blogging mama!

Spencer said that he will never try to stunt like he used to. "My whole million-dollar wardrobe—I would never wear that again. They’re props. We were buying props." He also made big purchases just for the show. "I bought a big blue monster truck just to drive it on The Hills for an episode. Never drove it again."

He sold his truck last month for a whooping $5,500. OUCH!

Speidi also spent millions on Heidi's music career: Spencer estimated they spent $2 million hiring writers, producers, and engineers who worked with Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, and Lady Gaga.

Spencer and Heidi Montag are now living at his mommy and daddy's vacation house. He's well aware that his 15 minutes are ovah!

"The second we continued on our quest for fame was a mistake. This isn’t a business. That was the big thing I didn’t get: Reality TV is not a career. Anyone who says, ‘Oh, you can have a career in reality’—that is a lie."

The quote above makes me a little sad because people in the entertainment industry are always lying to aspiring up and comers or C-listers. Mike Sorrentino and pretty much everyone in Jersey Shore is going to be saying the same exact thing 2 or 3 years from now.

On whether they had ever split: Spencer: “No.” Heidi: “No.” Spencer: “Not for one minute.” Heidi: “We’ve never even been apart.”

On why Heidi should have saved her money: “I should have known growing up and not having any money ever that I should have kept every dollar that I had.”

On why Spencer was fired from The Hills - Producer Sara Mast wanted him to punch his sister, Stephanie Pratt!

Mast tried to get him to punch Stephanie. “Her exact quote: ‘That Snooki effect,’” Spencer said. “That’s when I snapped,” Spencer said.

Though Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are pretty much conjoined at the hip, Heidi had to (temporarily) remove the cancerous growth that is her husband in order to film her new VH1 reality TV show, Famous Food. Sources say that the producers were determined to keep Pratt off the set from the first day onward.

Spencer wasn't allowed on the set, near the set, or to be involved in any way whatsoever--and not wanting bad blood...Heidi agreed to keep her man at bay.

I suppose VH1 is trying to keep their show classy and less headache-inducing, but it’s still a little unsettling. Heidi without Spencer is like Charlie Sheen without crazy eyes. Just plain weird.

Still, it looks like the show will be free of Montag-Pratt drama as Spencer has abided by the show's rules so far. I, however, half-feel like he lives by the Miley Cyrus credo and can’t be tamed. He’ll find a way to weasel himself into the tabloids no matter what--if there’s one thing he’s competent at, it’s that.

The only way this could not be annoying is they also staged a fake funeral so that the world could rejoice in pictures of a giant tombstone with "Speidi" written on it.

Despite never actually getting divorced, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt got re-married on Sunday. So, I guess they're "renewing their vows," which is something usually done by old people who have been married for 50 years, not by attention whores who have been married 2 years, and already had two friggin' weddings!!! God, I'm sick of these two.

Says Lord Douchington Spencer, "This time, it's just me and my bride on a secret little beach with nobody else and it's just about her. Versus last time it was about everything else. It was about drama, it was about ratings." Uh-huh. It wouldn't also happen to be about desperately trying to stay in the spotlight, like everything else you've done in your life, would it? Hey, I have an idea. If you guys like "secret little beaches" where it's just the two of you so much, why don't you go to some secluded island somewhere and never leave it, ever?

Spencer also discussed the fact that he and Heidi are officially broke-@sses, because you can't have a little private wedding without doing a bunch of interviews first. That would just be stupid! Spencer says he "hates fame" (riiiight), but "loves money" (duh), so for him, becoming a fame whore was just a quick and easy way to make a disgusting amount of cash and then blow it all on turning his wife into Frankenstein. So, now that they're bankrupt, we can expect to see a lot more of Heidi and Spencer's desperate attempts to remain relevant. Excuse me while I go look up "painless suicide" on Google. 

This is kinda like telling your 33 year-old son that there's no Santa Claus, but better late than never, I guess. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have finally confirmed what everyone already knew, and admitted that their recent "divorce" was a publicity stunt designed to keep them both in the spotlight.

Speidi says the couple was $10 million in debt when they found out The Hills was not being renewed and they came up with the stunt as a means of staying on the C-list. "The divorce was real - just the idea behind it was different than most people's," Spencer told Life & Style magazine. "Divorcing was the only way to keep Heidi's career going because everyone. Look at Sandra Bullock - her divorce from Jesse James was the best thing to happen to her image."

I don't even know where to start with that. 1.) No, Spence. If you did it for financial gain, the divorce wasn't real. That would be like me marrying a mail-order Mexican chick and saying, "The marriage was real. It's just that we only did it so she could get a green card." 2.) Notice how he only mentions Heidi's career. That Spencer Pratt, always looking out for others. 3.) Sandra Bullock is not Heidi Montag. Sandra's image was also helped by winning an Academy Award and not being a talentless boob cyborg.

Spencer went on to say, "I can't make regular money because I was playing such an unlikeable character on TV to keep my checks coming. Who wants to hire the jerk from The Hills?" That might be the best thing I've ever heard. Watch for Spencer Pratt: Sandwich Artist, coming soon to a Subway near you.

Well surprise, surprise. People magazine is reporting the absolutely shocking news that Heidi Montag has called off her divorce from Spencer Pratt. This is the most unsurprising news I've ever read about these two f*ck tards.

Apparently their time in Costa Rica, and Spencer's arrest for gun charges on 9/11 of all days (jack@ss!), brought the couple together.

"We are back together trying to make things work. Costa Rica really put things in perspective. We do love each other and realized we do want to spend the rest of our lives together."

According to Heidi's attorney Jodeane Farrell, the papers are on their way to court to be filed for dismissal of Heidi's dissolution action.

For all of us that love to hate this trashtastic couple, it looks like we're going to be doing it a while longer. Damn it! 

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have moved into one of Spencer's mom's beach houses because they're so broke. Speidi's rent was $20k/ month. "The truth is that they are cash-strapped right now and their only real form of income these days is from set-up paparazzi photographs," the insider said.

It looks like "Spencer's master plan" was poorly planned. Magazines aren't very interested in them anymore because everything they say is about as real as Heidi's tits.

"A lot of the editors know that the recent split story was a complete sham and they realize that there readers can see through it all now too. Heidi believes that they should be getting paid a lot more money and she has become really demanding now too," the source said.

Did you hear that all? These two only have seconds of their 15 minutes of fame left. Wait! Let me think of some stories Speidi hasn't faked yet:

• Heidi announces she's pregnant

• Heidi has a miscarriage, Tila Tequila never-was-pregnant-in-the-first-place style

• Heidi claims that she's hooked on painkillers, the ones she takes daily to deal with the pain from her plastic surgeries

• Heidi checks into a drug rehabilitation center

• Spencer is caught "cheating" with some ho

• Spencer goes to sex addiction rehab

• Spencer gets a DUI

• Heidi says she's taking a break from Spencer

• Heidi becomes a born again lesbian for publicity

... Let's see how many of the items above these two try to pull off over the next few months. My guess is they'll go for at least a few.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt never actually split up, and they were living together in a private rental house in Malibu over the summer. The two have moved out of the rental and the home owner is p*ssed about the condition the place was left in and the fact they made some crazy expensive renovations to the place.

“Wanting to keep prying eyes away, they planted 20 foot tall trees along the front of the house against the wall. They also took it upon themselves to change the pool from chlorine to salt water which was very, very expensive."

Heidi and Spencer were required to "put down a much bigger security deposit because they have four dogs. The dogs peed on a $15,000 carpet

This doesn't surprise me after reading the hoarding stories about these two. They apparently don't have any respect for any one's sh*t including their own, so I'm gonna have to give them a call and let them know I can't have them over for the barbecue this weekend. 

Too bad. I was looking forward to putting Heidi and Spencer on giant kabobs and having the shrimp and the Barbie.

This is the last thing I wanted to see on TMZ this morning, and it has ruined me for the rest of the day. After all the media hoopla about Spencer Pratt and Heidi's split and possible divorce, it's obvious these two fame sluts are still together. Duh! We all knew that!

Spencer and Heidi Montag were photographed kissing yesterday while celebrating Heidi's 24th birthday in Santa Barbara. How do you kiss a man who looks like he has old man pubes on his face? Ugh! And how can Spencer kiss a chick who's three plastic surgery procedures away from having the same face as the dude in the movie 'Mask'?

These fugged up a**holes were truly meant for each other. I'm sure they probably went home and make another sex tape together too.

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag must seriously think the rest of the world is as stupid as they are. For one, they expect us to keep taking their publicity stunt fake divorce seriously. Two, they expect to get on a plane with handguns during the week of 9/11.

Spencer and Heidi attempted to board a plane in Costa Rica over the weekend, but were detained when authorities found two handguns in Spencer's luggage.

It gets better. Allow Spencer to explain why he needed to live the island thug life:

"As part of my spiritual cleansing I've spent the last week living alone in the jungle, reflecting on my past transgressions, and working to become a better person. I had to live off the land and hunt to survive."

Riiiiiight. Spencer living off the land. His wife is 93% man-made, but he felt the need to get in touch with nature. I don't even wanna think about what's growing in that beard after a week in the jungle.

Spencer was released by authorities, but apparently the traumatic incident brought the couple closer together and he now has hope that Heidi will drop her divorce filing.

I don't know what kind of "spiritual cleansing" involves loaded .45s, or how smuggling weapons can save a marriage, but then again, I gave up on anything about Speidi making sense a long time ago.

I'm sick of hearing about these two, but now that I know they own guns, I totally hope they get back together. In fact, as a re-wedding present, I'll buy them a bottle of Jim Beam and two t-shirts with targets on the front. Don't forget to turn the safety off, you crazy lovebirds!