Spencer Pratt
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I normally can't stand seeing Spencer Pratt and Heidi jumping in front of the cameras to get some extra time in the spotlight, but this is pretty humorous!

Heidi and Spencer have no problem poking fun at themselves and knew people would get a kick out of seeing them as one of America's most infamous reality couples.

"Halloween is supposed to be about scary costumes. What's scarier than Speidi Plus Eight? Any reality stars who can get themselves 55 magazine covers will always have our respect!"

I'm not sure what having Spencer and Heidi Montag's respect is all about, but the pictures are amusing. Heidi could totally play the role of Kate Gosselin in the Lifetime movie about the Jon & Kate failed marriage.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt love money equally as much as they love fame, and if they can't get paid, they just don't show up! Holly Montag had her 26th birthday party at Empire in Hollywood on Saturday and Heidi and Spencer Bratt were absent.

“Holly was really wishing that her sister could just stop by, but Heidi only goes places if she is getting paid. This is her sister and she wouldn’t even show up without a fee. That’s disgusting.”

Heidi and Spencer live in LA. Considering how many celebrities fly in for a family member's special occasion, I find this story completely insane, which means it must be true. In all fairness, Speidi were probably too busy picking out pictures of themselves to frame and give to Holly in time to make it out to the party.

Janice Dickinson, Spencer Bratt and various gossip bloggers think that she is. When Khloe Kardashian married Lamar Odom, bloggers referred to her as "monster beast," "Kong," "Bigfoot" and "fat skunk."

The L.A. Times reports that Khloe actually dropped TWO dress sizes for her shotgun wedding. In the newest issue of Life & Style magazine, Khloe says, "Everyone criticizes me about my weight all the time. It's easy for me to be like some other girls in Hollywood -- not eat and become anorexic -- but thank goodness I am strong-willed and secure with myself."

Janice Dickinson said, "There's no way she would become a fashion icon. Khloe looks like a heifer. Khloe should be put out to pasture. She should be kept in the stables along with the rest of that family. I think she's a little pig."

And Spencer Pratt claims Khloe could do better. "Khloé still needs to work out more. I recommend she go to theheidimontagworkout.com so she can get fantastic curves like my wife's."

Khloe has lost 25 lbs and it's still not good enough. She looks great! She's curvy and sexy and beautiful. Khloe does have a fat face, though, so it's easy for one to see all the chunk in her cheeks and assume that she's overweight; but she's toned and mostly svelte. Sigh. Why am I defending this b*tch? She's happily married for now and the only one she's probably concerned with pleasing is her hubby. Team Khloe until she turns into Jelly Clarkson!

Kristin Cavallari may be a b*tch, but that's not enough to get people to tune into MTV's scripted reality show The Hills. The season six premiere pulled in the lowest numbers in the series' premiere history!

Lauren Conrad jumped ship after last season. Is LC's departure the reason why numbers are down, or has too much evidence about all of the show's fakery begun to take its toll? Are we now officially over Speidi and tuning out because Heidi Montag and Spencer are cast members? Or have we lost interest?

Tuesday's show was the series' lowest-rated premiere yet, with 2.1 million viewers tuning in, a sharp decline from the 3 million viewers from last season's premiere in April and the 3.5 million from August 2008's opening episode.

Although viewership is down, The Hills remains the top program on television in its time slot in the 12-34 demo that the network targets. Scary! The Hills still pulls in good advertising revenue for the most coveted demographic. Once The Hills begins to lose its highly targeted viewers, then I think we'll have a chance at this show getting canceled and paving the way for the inevitable Speidi 'Newlyweds' spin-off. Which is a good thing cause it will be the catalyst of their demise!

I'm confused as to why Heidi Montag married Spencer when he refuses to have kids. Did they not have that little conversation before tying the knot?

Spencer Pratt is mouthing off about his sex life with Heidi and the thought of possibly cutting off his nuts. I'm glad he mentioned cutting off his nuts because I was convinced he has a vagina.

Spencer is so "scared" that Heidi will get pregnant that he's "barely having sex" with his wife these days.

I'm not even kidding -- my wife has me debating cutting off my nuts... I'm very concerned. Our sex life has dramatically changed recently.

His nuts are about the size of a couple jelly beans so it shouldn't hurt too bad. Heidi should remove his balls with a plastic spoon for talking about their sucky sex life in public anyway!

I guess someone actually could pay me enough to put my life on camera for the world to see. My scripted life, that is. The Hills cast members actually make really good money!

Check it:

Kristin Cavallari pockets $90k/ episode

Audrina Patridge and Lo Bosworth are paid $100k/episode

Heidi Montag gets $100k/episode

Spencer Bratt gets $65k/episode

Brody Jenner gets the least - $45k/ episode

And Lauren Conrad was paid $125k/episode!!!!

MTV is obvioulsy making like ATM robbers to be paying the cast this much. The show is still successful, which makes ya wonder if there's any end in sight.

I can call off the bounty hunters I hired to kidnap Heidi Montag's uterus, since Spencer won't allow her to have kids.

Since Spencer and Heidi tied the knot a few months ago, her baby making hormones have kicked in. Spencer's not interested in having kids right now and will divorce Heidi if she gets knocked up.

 "Heidi is, like, trying to have a baby like it's going to buy a new pair of Louis Vuittons. She's really ready to start this family. She's not playing. And that's what I'm saying — you can't sneak a baby.

What happens if she does? I told her there's a divorce or adoption. If she's not down with the adoption, I think it's divorce," he said. "I'm a baby. I'm not prepared. And I'm not sure the world wants a Spencer Pratt spawn."

Oh. my. lord. Spencer Pratt actually said something we all agree on, which is the fact that nobody wants a Spencer Jr.

Is it possible to hire someone to steal someone else's uterus? If so, I'd like to pay someone take snatch Heidi Montag's before she reproduces.

Stephanie Pratt is running her mouth about Heidi's urge to pop out some Spencer Jr's now that she's a domesticated attention whore house wife.

"Heidi is the one with the baby fever; Spencer is not., for my marriage. What do I do?'" Stephanie says. "Here's the deal: Basically, Heidi got married ... She's like, 'Thank you, God, for my marriage. What do I do?' I really feel like she went to a bookstore and saw Newlyweds: The Wife's Edition, and so now she's like, 'I still want to get a house with a white picket fence...and then probably a dog, and then we'll move on to kids. And I want to take cooking lessons.'"

"I'm like, 'You don't have to do that,'" she said. "I keep telling her, 'You don't have to get a dog [either].'

Heidi couldn't handle doing anything other than play with the pubic hair on Spencer's face and do a few lunges to keep her a** tight so there's no way she can raise a kid. The last thing this world needs are a couple of Heidi and Spencer Pratt babies. Spencer would just use the kids as an accessory to help get him in the tabloids a little more. That should be considered child abuse!

Just when I thought it was safe to think Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have chilled the f*ck out and may have grown up a bit, they prove me wrong. Why would I think that in the first place?

Heidi is working on her big performance at the Miss Universe Pageant this coming Sunday and has apparently already missed a few rehearsals. America's most hated reality TV couple are being a complete pain in the *ss and as usual, and Spencer wants to be paid to show his pretty pubic hair mustache at the Atlantis Hotel.

"They're a complete nightmare. Heidi has missed many rehearsals" while "Spencer tried to demand that the hotel pay him to lay by the pool" after he and Heidi were comped on the cabanas. "The Atlantis laughed in his face," our snitch reports. A rep for Montag denies she and Pratt have caused any problems. "It's absolutely untrue. She's been rehearsing in LA five days a week for the show, and Spencer hasn't spoken with the Atlantis."

I believe this crap because Spencer Pratt seems to think he should get paid for doing something as simple as wipe his butt. I can't wait to watch Heidi's performance just so I can see her make a total fool of herself.

Al Roker posted the following message on his Twitter a few hours ago:

Heidi and Spencer are an interesting couple. famous for...being infamous. Bad and vacuous behavior. I think we're at minute 11 of their 15. about 3 hours ago from web