Straight Fug News

Why does Adam Lambert always look like he just got done giving a cactus deep throat? Eff collagen, this man needs some Vaseline injections.

Before American Idol, during the show's tapings, and after he lost, Adam Lambert's lips have looked so horribly chapped, they almost appear to be on the verge of peeling in some spots. You'd think that the "For Your Entertainment" queen who loves makeup would do something For His Lips and invest in all the right beauty products. I don't know what's goin' on here, but the excessive dryness doesn't make me wanna makeout with him. Such a damn shame. Your loss, Glambert!

Amy Winehouse is so stoked about her new boobies that she wants to go even larger. The tiny former crackhead went from a 32B to a 32D last month, and if she goes any bigger she's going to fall over from being off balance!

Ever since Amy bought herself a pair of new knockers, she's been proudly showing them off everywhere she goes. Friends say she's so happy with her boobies that she can't stop touching them and she's even considering butt implants.

"She thinks by having another op and bum implants that she will achieve her dream pin-up look."

Amy has always been hit in the face, but she had a cute little curvaceous body before she started hitting the pipe and snortin' the powder. She should start small and find someone to help her put on that black eyeliner evenly before she gets her butt plumped up. Amy just wants to upgrade her looks with surgery so she can sell her implants on Ebay later when she's broke and needs the cash to buy more crack.

Is little Kimmy cupcakes looking gorgeous in this photo or what!?! Kim was rocking a prosthetic chin, nose and cheeks for her appearance on Secret Celebrity which I didn't get a chance to watch, but I'm sure it will be replayed 30 times over the next week.

Kim Kardashian, you look marvelous! Those teeth are what really brings the whole look together. You can't be half fug with perfect teeth, you gotta take it all the way, baby! Check out the photos below to see Kim getting a sperm facial by Barney. It's actually pics of Kim getting the mold done for the prosthetics but you know I couldn't keep it clean.

Katharine McPhee is still blonde and it still looks really bad on her.

Her platinum is borderline white in some spots and she just can not pull it off. Katharine's locks are too bleached and her eye makeup is too heavy. I also don't know why Kat doesn't walk the red carpet with her ugly old, balding husband. Is she ashamed? Probably not, but I know I would be.

Brad Pitt is growing out some nappy facial hair and putting beads in it cause he's got it like that. The father of six was spotted rocking a beard with metal beads as part of his Halloween outfit.

But Pitt, now in Japan, has not removed the beads and he still has his nasty looking multi-colored goatee hanging off of his face. Brad is in Japan promoting Inglorious Basterds. He looks like such a douche with that Pitt hair. Heh. And no, you don't have to ask. Of course I'd still hit it.

Here's a picture of Rihanna's Rated R cover. It was shot by famed photographer Ellen von Unwerth. She said that Rihanna wanted to create something new for her comeback album.

Ellen also said,

Rihanna is "fantastic to work with -- very giving, very creative, very involved in every aspect of the shoot, and ready to push the boundaries."

This is an album I refuse to buy until RiRi speaks out on domestic violence. She's so tough in photos and lyrics, isn't she? B*tch please!

Noah Cyrus is only nine years old, but she's already dressing like a slut. This isn't the first time that Noah has paraded around in her boots with heels and worn makeup, but she might as well be runnin' around in a thong, cause if she bends over, you're gonna see some booty cheek for sure.

Miley Cyrus' little sister showed up at Jamie Lee Curtis' Halloween party over the weekend dressed like some kind of dominatrix witch slut or something. Her parents should be ashamed. When you look like Noah, ya gotta make up for it in the personality or good body department, and allowing her to dress like this now is only teaching her that she should show skin.

Although I find her outfit repulsive, Noah is already prepped for costume changes and the stage. The last thing I could do when I was nine, or even today, is walk around in heels without landing on my hands and knees. I'll give her credit for that, but damn those heels must start hurting within an hour!

After looking at this new round of Brooke Hundley photos, I'm getting some insight into why she went batsh*t after Steve Phillips dumped her.

Steve was probably the hottest piece that Brooke has ever been with, and possibly one of the few pieces she has ever been with.

She's a greedy, delusional homewrecker who tried to break up a marriage cause let's face it - who in their right mind would wanna take this walrus on?

'Straight fug' takes on a whole new meaning. She's not even slightly attractive.

This is the post where I'm supposed to be politically correct and say that Kelly Clarkson "looks great" and she isn't fat. Well I'm not gonna cause Kelly fan sites are for that. Jelly Clarkson was seen roaming the streets and picking up a salad at a NYC deli yesterday.

She'll be performing with Parachute and Eric Hutchinson at Hammerstein Ballroom on Wednesday. She's also scheduled to appear on The View this Thursday. When those pictures come out, I'll be happy to post those, too, without saying that she "still looks hot."

I don't wear glasses or contacts, not gonna lie for the sake of appeasing all, which will never happen anyway. I will say that it's nice to see Ms. Clarkson getting photographed with a salad instead of what she may be eating when the paps aren't around.

Miss Piggy gains so quickly, I'm kind of impressed. Witnessing her transformation is like watching NBC's show The Biggest Loser, where contestants drop like a dozen pounds in an hour, in reverse. Kelly is like The Biggest Gainer. Bless her heart!

Do You Think Kelly Clarkson Should Lose Weight?

Jessica Alba stepped out for the Bill Clinton's Global Initiative reception the other night, with some crazy looking blonde locks. She must have the same hair stylist as Rihanna, cause they both look whack with their blonde weaves.

I seriously thought she had shaved her head when I saw these photos.

What is going on with the dress? If it didn't have a low neck line, I think a 5 year old girl would wear it for holiday pictures! It could also pass for something my 85 year-old grandma would wear out for dinner with her sexy boyfriend. Sorry Jessica, but this look is all wrong and the black tights don't help.