Straight Fug

Tom Cruise's new movie Rock of Ages has been getting publicity for more than the past year and now the allegedly gay actor is posing in character. Cruise plays rocker Stacee Jaxx and his body looks great considering that he's 70 years old, but is he supposed to be sexy cause I'm borderline scared sh!tless! I wouldn't want that tongue anywhere near me.

The 5-foot-7 actor explains that he actually enjoys dancing. When he was a teenager, Tom says he'd turn the music up and just dance while his mother was at work and his sisters were out of the house.

"I learned how to dance watching SoulTrain. I noticed that if a guy could dance, he’d get a lot of attention and girls would want to dance with him. I worked very hard at imitating those moves.”

Who knew? I found the quote above interesting. To read Tommy's entire interview, visit W!

WTH happened here? We thought Pauly D was really into GTL so that he would always look fresh to death for girls who are DTF in da club? Pauly D walked the red carpet at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas last weekend and he was looking large and in charge!

If there was anyone I thought might get fat, it would be Ronnie. Snooki slimmed down but Pauly D has been eating all her leftovers.

Pauly's friend thinks that we have eyesight problems and says "He's gained 20 pounds of muscle. He is [exercising] nonstop . . .three times a day sometimes."

That's hilarious! Pauly needs to exercise three times a day now because he looks gross.

If only Deena Cortese didn't have a boyfriend of her own, now would be the opportune time to try to smush.

Photos: Wenn

If you listen to Ke$ha's music you'd know that she likes to hook up and that she wants "only one thing from you" and she doesn't care if you fall for her cause it's not gonna work. So my question is, who's falling for her? Lesbians wouldn't be attracted to this mess and heterosexual men wouldn't either. I take it that she bangs closet cases. Makes sense.

Ke$ha isn't fat and she's not hideous, she just doesn't know how to dress.

Ke$ha's also like 6 feet tall in person, so I'm thinking she should go for clothes that make her look thinner instead of stocky, which should be easy to accomplish considering that she isn't fat or short. A long dress would work wonders on her. Don't get high before putting outfits together!

Photos: Fame/ Flynet

Christina Aguilera sang "At Last" at Etta James' memorial service at an L.A. church on Saturday. Hours later, the Internet was buzzing as photographers' advanced cameras were able to catch streaks of liquid that were dripping down Xtina's legs.

Many assumed that the girl was menstruating, others said that sweat caused her spray tan to streak. The photos are tragic and both scenarios seem likely, however, I think the girl was on the rag. If you look at the photo, sweat doesn't appear to be anywhere on Christina's body. A liquid is streaming down from the woman's crotch. If Christina was sweating, sweat would not only be dispersed between her legs... Menstruation doesn't just appear like a GD flood. This is insanity. Why didn't Christina walk off the stage and prep before singing a song?! She wiped off her legs a few times on stage before she began to sing. SMH! I'm speechless.

A source says that Christina's performance at Etta James' memorial "was her proudest moment" and that the streak marks were created because "The sweat caused her spray tan to streak." Riiiiiiight.

Photo: Us Weekly via Bauer Griffin

Love is blind! Roger and JWoww are still together and Roger was looking like the prettier of the two when Jenni hosted an event at Harrah's Resort in Atlantic City on Saturday. Jenni is looking like a greasy, pasty guidette! We thought this woman was all about rockin' the bronzed skin and not looking like you could fry bacon on her forehead?

JWoww used to be the sexiest Jersey Shore star. Sammi Giancola was the most naturally hot housemate, and then she revealed that she's certifiably crazy. Deena Cortese was never in the running, and Snooki, the little midget that could, had a drastic makeover, making her the hottest b!tch in Seaside NJ these days. Snooki could teach Jenni a few things.

Photos: Fame/ Flynet

If Christina Aguilera hasn’t already made it clear to you, she’s gained some weight, but she’s really, really super-comfortable with her body, okay?! While promoting The Voice, 31-year-old Xtina talked about how she loves her body and her boyfriend Matt Rutler loves her body and all the haters can just hate.

From there, she explains that her weight isn’t just her problem, it’s society’s problem. “Women, we are definitely under a microscope and under massive scrutiny,” she says. “As long as I am happy in my own skin, that is all the confirmation I need.”

Really, I agree with that. It’s important to feel good about yourself yada, yada yada, but OMG Christina Aguilera should never ever go bra-less, like she did for this interview. There is being comfortable with your body, and there is dressing like you’re a flat-in-every-way teenager when you have moderately large t*ts. Her boobs look saggy as sh!t and that’s just not attractive. Push ‘em up! Cover ‘em up! Pancake boobs are eye magnets and I don’t want to have to fixate on them any longer. There are much better things to look at in the world. Kay, thanks.

Photo: Fame/Flynet

Christina Aguilera pregnancy rumors sparked again after she wore another form-fitting outfit Sunday night. Christina performed at the American Music Awards with Maroon 5. One of Xtina's friends says that the singer is "not pregnant!"

"She’s a Latina woman with curves and since when is it not ok to have curves? She feels like she is setting an example for women and young girls," Christina's source says. "Not everyone is super skinny and she wants girls to embrace their body type."

The only example Xtina is setting for women and young girls is a bad one. If chicks with Christina's figure follow her lead, people will put their hands on their stomach and ask when the baby is due.

Christina is insecure. If she honestly thought that she was sexy, she wouldn't be seen in clown makeup everyday and she wouldn't feel compelled to wear dresses that are too tight. She would know that she looks hot even when she isn't wearing clothes that cut off her circulation.

Photo: Wenn

Photos like these are the reason why we have a "Straight Fug" category. Christina Aguilera and her boyfriend for hire, Matt Rutler, walked the red carpet attended the “The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Launch Party” last night. Christina's weave doesn't match, her makeup is orange, and her teeth should be bleached.

Xtina, who was probably drunk before she left her house for the event, forced Matt to pretend that he wants to kiss her. Surprisingly he doesn't look too thrilled!

Christina is overweight and she's housing a few small bottles of rum in her cheeks. She still wants us to think that she's hot though, which is why she's wearing tight pants, a black leather jacket, and 4 lbs. of makeup. She needs to be groped and kissed on in public to distract us from the sad reality of her life; she is far from as hot as she used to be yet she's struggling to accept it. Mariah Carey just pumped out twins in her 40s and she looks better today than Christina looks at 30. B!tch needs some friggin' help, but she's just too vain to seek it.

Photos: Fame

It's official. Katy Perry has let herself go. Russell Brand's wife airs her breasts out everyday of the year and she likes to wear clothes that are tight and short, but her MTV Europe Music Award look was disappointing, and I'm not just talking about her outfit. WTFug did Katherine do to her friggin face?

Marker ink should never replace eyebrow hair. Who the hell is on Katy's payroll? The arches don't match. If you're going to paint eyebrows onto someone's face, isn't that the exact reason why they should look identical? You have no excuse. You're not plucking anything out!

Lady Gaga had green eyebrows, which I kind of adore, but then her blue lipstick is reminding me of Ke$ha, and that b!tch looks ugly in her tribal makeup. I think silver lipstick would have worked better with Gaga's dress, and she wouldn't look like she gave head to a Smurf on her way over.

Photos: Wenn