Straight Fug

Christina Aguilera sang "At Last" at Etta James' memorial service at an L.A. church on Saturday. Hours later, the Internet was buzzing as photographers' advanced cameras were able to catch streaks of liquid that were dripping down Xtina's legs.

Many assumed that the girl was menstruating, others said that sweat caused her spray tan to streak. The photos are tragic and both scenarios seem likely, however, I think the girl was on the rag. If you look at the photo, sweat doesn't appear to be anywhere on Christina's body. A liquid is streaming down from the woman's crotch. If Christina was sweating, sweat would not only be dispersed between her legs... Menstruation doesn't just appear like a GD flood. This is insanity. Why didn't Christina walk off the stage and prep before singing a song?! She wiped off her legs a few times on stage before she began to sing. SMH! I'm speechless.

A source says that Christina's performance at Etta James' memorial "was her proudest moment" and that the streak marks were created because "The sweat caused her spray tan to streak." Riiiiiiight.

Photo: Us Weekly via Bauer Griffin

Love is blind! Roger and JWoww are still together and Roger was looking like the prettier of the two when Jenni hosted an event at Harrah's Resort in Atlantic City on Saturday. Jenni is looking like a greasy, pasty guidette! We thought this woman was all about rockin' the bronzed skin and not looking like you could fry bacon on her forehead?

JWoww used to be the sexiest Jersey Shore star. Sammi Giancola was the most naturally hot housemate, and then she revealed that she's certifiably crazy. Deena Cortese was never in the running, and Snooki, the little midget that could, had a drastic makeover, making her the hottest b!tch in Seaside NJ these days. Snooki could teach Jenni a few things.

Photos: Fame/ Flynet

If Christina Aguilera hasn’t already made it clear to you, she’s gained some weight, but she’s really, really super-comfortable with her body, okay?! While promoting The Voice, 31-year-old Xtina talked about how she loves her body and her boyfriend Matt Rutler loves her body and all the haters can just hate.

From there, she explains that her weight isn’t just her problem, it’s society’s problem. “Women, we are definitely under a microscope and under massive scrutiny,” she says. “As long as I am happy in my own skin, that is all the confirmation I need.”

Really, I agree with that. It’s important to feel good about yourself yada, yada yada, but OMG Christina Aguilera should never ever go bra-less, like she did for this interview. There is being comfortable with your body, and there is dressing like you’re a flat-in-every-way teenager when you have moderately large t*ts. Her boobs look saggy as sh!t and that’s just not attractive. Push ‘em up! Cover ‘em up! Pancake boobs are eye magnets and I don’t want to have to fixate on them any longer. There are much better things to look at in the world. Kay, thanks.

Photo: Fame/Flynet

Christina Aguilera pregnancy rumors sparked again after she wore another form-fitting outfit Sunday night. Christina performed at the American Music Awards with Maroon 5. One of Xtina's friends says that the singer is "not pregnant!"

"She’s a Latina woman with curves and since when is it not ok to have curves? She feels like she is setting an example for women and young girls," Christina's source says. "Not everyone is super skinny and she wants girls to embrace their body type."

The only example Xtina is setting for women and young girls is a bad one. If chicks with Christina's figure follow her lead, people will put their hands on their stomach and ask when the baby is due.

Christina is insecure. If she honestly thought that she was sexy, she wouldn't be seen in clown makeup everyday and she wouldn't feel compelled to wear dresses that are too tight. She would know that she looks hot even when she isn't wearing clothes that cut off her circulation.

Photo: Wenn

Photos like these are the reason why we have a "Straight Fug" category. Christina Aguilera and her boyfriend for hire, Matt Rutler, walked the red carpet attended the “The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Launch Party” last night. Christina's weave doesn't match, her makeup is orange, and her teeth should be bleached.

Xtina, who was probably drunk before she left her house for the event, forced Matt to pretend that he wants to kiss her. Surprisingly he doesn't look too thrilled!

Christina is overweight and she's housing a few small bottles of rum in her cheeks. She still wants us to think that she's hot though, which is why she's wearing tight pants, a black leather jacket, and 4 lbs. of makeup. She needs to be groped and kissed on in public to distract us from the sad reality of her life; she is far from as hot as she used to be yet she's struggling to accept it. Mariah Carey just pumped out twins in her 40s and she looks better today than Christina looks at 30. B!tch needs some friggin' help, but she's just too vain to seek it.

Photos: Fame

It's official. Katy Perry has let herself go. Russell Brand's wife airs her breasts out everyday of the year and she likes to wear clothes that are tight and short, but her MTV Europe Music Award look was disappointing, and I'm not just talking about her outfit. WTFug did Katherine do to her friggin face?

Marker ink should never replace eyebrow hair. Who the hell is on Katy's payroll? The arches don't match. If you're going to paint eyebrows onto someone's face, isn't that the exact reason why they should look identical? You have no excuse. You're not plucking anything out!

Lady Gaga had green eyebrows, which I kind of adore, but then her blue lipstick is reminding me of Ke$ha, and that b!tch looks ugly in her tribal makeup. I think silver lipstick would have worked better with Gaga's dress, and she wouldn't look like she gave head to a Smurf on her way over.

Photos: Wenn

Being overweight does not fit Christina Aguilera, who houses most of her chunk in her cheeks. As Kelly Osbourne said "She is just becoming the fat b!tch she was born to be!"

Christina performing at the Michael Jackson tribute

I don't even care how much Christina weighs, my issue is that she is trying to look hot when her hotness died years ago. She's just so superficial and drenched in denial that she thinks she needs to look sexy at all times. Today Xtina can no longer roll around humping the floor in a pair of chaps like she did in "Dirrrrrty," cause she would simply be left out of breath.

These days Xtina's making Britney Spears look like LeAnn Rimes. SMH.

Photos: Wenn

Deena Cortese appeared on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno last night where she called her Jersey Shore housemates "so lame" for freaking out about her swallowing Snooki's face.

Deena downplayed the graphic make-out session by trying to convince viewers that graphic public displays of affection in front of five other housemates and a dozen cameras ain't no thang.

“Me and [Snooki] make out when we’re drunk sometimes, it happens! Team meatballs! Meatball power! ...The roommates were all being so lame and judgmental when they have seen it happen before! It was like, ‘why are you surprised?’”

Deena also claims that she "felt very lonely in Italy" because the chicks in the house had boyfriends.

“It was hard to find guys out there because some of them didn’t speak English, some of them hooked up with their sisters! It was hard to communicate.”

Deena is so f*cking cultured and worldly! I've hooked up with people who don't speak English. You just point and nod, baby.

Remember the days when Lindsay Lohan was hot?! Well, that lasted for like all of 3 years and now the has been actress is looking worse than she's ever looked before. It's frightening to consider what her future face will look like if this is what the 25 year-old version is up to.

Just days after Lindsay denied that Ali Lohan had plastic surgery, she was spotted at New York fashion week shows looking orange, bloated, wrinkled, freckled, and bald (you know what's left of her hair is now thin and fried).

New York magazine described the chaos that erupted when everyone was shocked to see LiLo at fashion week: Right before the lights went down, a platinum-and-orange waif in tiny trousers, massive shades, and hypnotically puffy lips burst forth from backstage, hustling to a front-row seat with ruthless efficiency (and several security guards).

Everyone "thought this walking creamsicle had to be Donatella Versace." When journalist realized it was Lohan, they began using four-letter expletives as they were both "excited" and "disbelieving." Photographers then began to take photos and people were snapping pics on their cellphones like crazy.

The room applauded, led by Lindsay herself, as she settled into her seat between a shell-shocked-seeming Leigh Lezark — we feel you, Leigh — and Lindsay’s companion, who is either a Johnny Depp superfan or an actual pirate.

At least Lohan can score a role playing an older character who is dying of skin cancer while battling a plastic surgery addiction.

Photos: Fame