Straight Fug News (Page 3)

Carmen Electra was spotted leaving the Henry Fonda Theatre in Hollywood with half of her hair shaved off. She thinks she's cute. She thinks Cassie looks cute. She needs an optometrist.

Cassie's young enough for her look to be somewhat acceptable. Carmen Electra on the other hand merely appears symptomatic of a mid-life crisis. Those blue nails aren't helping her diagnosis either.

Is he cute yet? NO!!!!!!!!!! Christina Aguilera was seen walking the street with her baby son Max.

Max still looks special, his face remains unfortunate, but Xtina still walks around with him in broad daylight? Christina Aguilera's husband Jordan Bat Boy is never seen with Max for whatever reason. He shouldn't be ashamed, it's his genes that created Max's stunning looks.

It's time for Xtina to try having another baby. Better luck next time.

Tori Spelling bikini pictures have surfaced today.

Tori Spelling is so harsh on the eyes, even if she was naked she would still look hideous to me. Megan Fox's 22-inch waist has nothing on Tori's stomach. She desperately needs some muscle. She looks fragile.

I love Scarlett Johansson, but b*tch looks strange in her Elle France photospread. She looks like a congested alien with a lightbulb head.

In all fairness, ScarJo has dropped a lot of weight for her new movie and these pictures were obviously taken post weightloss. That's why she looks so hideous. Scarlett needs all of her curves. All of 'em. Thin is bad and if God blessed you with curves, and you don't look like Jelly Clarkson who carries all of her weight in her ass, face and thighs, then keep some weight on and keep those sexy curves!

Kelly Clarkson must weigh like 210 pounds. Miss Piggy looks like she packed on at least a few more pounds every time new pictures come out.

She's so cute, though! Jelly Clarkson's just like a waddling little lady, all bloated and flat chested and fug.

Kelly Clarkson went shopping in Sydney, Australia, yesterday. Too bad they don't sell willpower! No, seriously, if they did, I would fly out and buy a few dozen bottles.

Do You Think Kelly Clarkson Should Lose Weight?

Paris Hilton and her douchey boyfriend Doug Reinhardt are vacationing in the Caribbean right now and it looks like Paris' bikini came in a kid's size. Her deflated booty is too big for her bikini, but who cares about that? Paris is turning into an Indian woman from the booty crack up. At least we can all take solace knowing that the b*tch will be kept off her back for the next few days. Someone should tell her that semen is SPF 0.

Someone needs sleeves!

Here's a concert review that I enjoyed because Kelly Clarkson seriously needs to stop screaming and busting out her voice. She needs some singing lessons. The picture is also great cause the country girl looks possessed with that glow in her eyes.

Jelly Clarkson is so butch and I long for the day when her "Yes, I'm Gay!" People magazine issue will be available at newsstands everywhere.

Kelly's set was enjoyable enough, though if she keeps screaming like that, her voice is going to be gone in five years. She took someone's phone from the front row to talk to their friend which was really sweet. She was like, "Hey, how are you? This is Kelly Clarkson. I feel like a douche for saying that. 'I'm Kelly Clarkson!'" Kelly said all the guys had to sing along because they knew "Since U Been Gone" even if they weren't gay and everyone sang along.

ontd

For Lindsay Lohan, food and dick are so 2000 and late. Here's Ms. "I Don't Drink or Do Drugs" looking like that's all she's been doing.

Linds, her various bones, and her younger sister, Ali, were all spotted in Maui. Possibly realizing that her spray tan lotion is crap, Linds laid out. She could use a tan and her boobs could use some barb wire. I don't even wanna know how thin LiLo looks in person.

I rather go completely nude than be seen in Lady Gaga's uncomfortable and ridiculous boots.

Lady Gaga's laced up thigh high heels have the three U's: Uncomfortable, Ugly, and Unacceptable. Are those boots or are they pants, and what's their purpose and function exactly cause Lady Caca doesn't have to dress this poorly when she's already a paparazzi magnet with no.1 hit songs. This is what you do when no one knows about you or cares about you.

Gaga can not afford to trip over those boots and fug up her face any worse than it already is. She has nearly been beaten to death with the ugly stick and she can't help that, so why make your entire body match your fug face? Get a grip, woman!

Lady Gaga wears shades, flashy, big clothes and distracting makeup because her face is so unfortunate. Her nose is massive, her eyes are beady, her face is long... she looks like a horse mated with Alf and then bleached her skin. It's not like I listen to Lady Gaga's music incessantly because of how her face looks, cause I wouldn't listen to it at all if that were the case!

Here she is leaving Radio 1.