There Ain't No Shame In My Game News

There's a lot we can learn from taking a course from Brooke Hundley's How to be a Psycho Stalker 101.

1st) When you're a home wrecker, you must stop at nothing to try to break up a marriage, regardless of how long your man has been married or how many kids he has (Steve has 4 sons).

And 2) When in doubt, give details - lots of 'em so that your lover's wifey knows that you have, indeed, had sex with her husband. Rub it in her face. Pour the salt up in her wounds, and grind it in there. It doesn't matter cause you're a "Catholic" who's trying to save your lover from a "loveless marriage."

Here's a breakdown of the crazy that Brooke wrote:

• The first time Brooke sexed Steve in a hotel, she didn't have to worry about getting pregnant cause he had a vasectomy. 

• She's in constant contact via text and hotel phone calls with Marni's husband.

• Steve and Brooke do a lot of sexting, and she's saved the messages as proof.

• According to Brooke, their bond is also heavily about "friendship."

• She calls Steve's third and fourth sons "a band-aid" and what's "holding [Steve] in the marriage." OUCH!

• Steve enjoys being with her cause she has "a passion and drive to really do something" with her life - Like steal someone else's husband!

I'll end there. Click on the picture below to read from the beginning. The cliffnotes from paragraphs one and two are in the bullets above.

Brooke makes LeAnn Rimes look like a saint! She's so self-serving and stupid to think that Steve would leave his wife for her, and Brooke was determined to hurt Marni Phillips since she has something that she wants.

Click on the thumbnails below for further proof that Steve Phillips has horrible taste:

Falcon Heene, aka Balloon Boy, is the poor six year-old who was used as an attention-grabbing prop to satisfy his dysfunctional parents. The family has appeared on Wife Swap twice, and they've wasted no time giving interviews, naturally.

CNN's Wolfe Blitzer asks the Heene family if Balloon Boy heard his parents calling his name while he was hiding and Falcon's dad asks his publicity magnet "Did you hear us calling your name at any time?" and Falcon replies, "Uh huh." Then Richard and his wife kind of freeze, and ask Falcon, "You did?"

Falcon then confesses, "You guys said that we did this for the show."

There ya go, folks! The dad then goes on to stutter some nonsensical crap, trying to cover up the bombshell revelation.

We were all hoping that Falcon was safe. But the entire situation sounded very suspect when it was reported that Falcon's brother saw Falcon fly away and then shortly before the balloon landed there were reports that Falcon may have fallen out - something ya gotta say considering that the balloon's gonna drop without a kid inside. Then Falcon's parents claimed that their son was hiding in the house? Wouldn't they have searched the house first before calling the authorities?

These parents are sick, but I seriously think they should look into script writing!

... Well Jon Gosselin is stealing money, so I guess they're even then, right? Yesterday Jon told The Insider that he didn't violate an arbitrator's orders by withdrawing $230k from a joint account with Kate Gosselin. Jon says he withdrew $22k last Thursday and has "the paper trail to prove it."

Kate Gosselin also lost some credibility in my book by saying the following: "If I have to work at McDonald's, I will do what I have to for my kids," That's not true cause Kate's a diva and the only way she could get by feeding her army on McDonald's wages would be if she was banging all the managers in her Micky D's regional district and they compensated her for private services.

Now that Jonny realizes that looking like a thief is a PR nightmare, the womanizer is trying to explain, saying:

"I've never taken any money out because over 10 years, Kate handled all the banking...  She says in the past week I took $230,000. I have withdrawn roughly $177,000 over the course of a year, which is less than 10 percent of what we made. That's like my paycheck."

What a coward! He can't discuss retrieving his "paycheck" with his wife first?

Jon goes on to say that Kate's numbers don't add up. Jon claims that Kate "had a best-selling book" that probably earned a "million dollars" that's unaccounted for. Jealous?! He says that Kate's "not thinking clearly" and he "didn't want this to be embarrassing for her."

This man is fluent in some Jedi mind tricks sh*t. Jonny, this is embarrassing for YOU and you know it. Get over yourself.

Bristol Palin's baby daddy and Sarah Palin's nightmare, Levi Johnston has said that he's become an aspiring actor. After accompanying Kathy Griffin to the Teen Choice Awards, he has scored his first role: eating nuts.

Levi Johnston busts some pistachio nuts "with protection" of his bodyguard, Tank Jones, whom he hired in the summer.

Levi's commercial is part of Wonderful Pistachio's $15 million ad campaign to help the pistachio industry make some money after a crippling salmonella recall earlier this year.

Other "celebrities" like Wee-Man and Adrianne Curry will be featured in other ads.

I like Levi's commercial. It gets your attention, Levi's wearing an Alaska shirt for those who need a little help remembering who he is, and it's a corny attempt to tie the sperminator to a product. Works for me cause he's cute.

On certain episodes of Jon & Kate Plus 8, if Jon bought something and he didn't have a receipt, there was hell to pay. She also believes in the power of the almighty coupon. And after they split, rumors surfaced that Kate kept Jon on a $5/day allowance. In summary, you do NOT mess with Kate's paper!  But Jon has taken it there because he's a selfish, immature loser.

Jonny has emptied out his joint bank account with Kate to the tune of $230,000, leaving her with only four digits - $1,000 to be exact - to pay her bills and feed her child army! Kate Gosselin appeared on The Today Show this morning where she said,

“It’s not acceptable. I need that money to provide [for the kids]... We did the show to provide a better life for them... I have a stack of bills in my purse I can’t put in the mail.”

And all the Kate Gosselin haters have now been converted!

Kate has also hired a pit bull lawyer to hold Jon Gosselin in contempt of court for disobeying orders to leave their funds untouched. The lawyers want Jon to return the money promptly. Jon appeared on Larry King Live where he said that he wanted to save his marriage. Considering how frugal Katie is, he must have been lie telling.

Although Aubrey O'Day has posed nude in Playboy, she doesn't want us to see a photo of her topless photo from her Peepshow in Las Vegas. Ms.O'Day is upset about the leak because she was called "fat" on gossip blogs.

Aubrey wants us to see her t*ts, she could care less about that, but she's insecure and wants praise. That's why she strips down toward the end of this video to prove that she isn't "fat." Aubrey's a slut who wants us to say she's "hot!" or else she'll strip to prove it! Does Aubrey think she's a skanky feminist hero? Ho, please! The topless pic just gave her another excuse to strip!

Lindsay Lohan aka little miss plump f*cked up lips, is acting like a true diva when she doesn't have any place to. The girl can't even land a good movie and she wants to pick who she sits by?

In true I-think-I'm-the-hottest-thing-to-walk-this-earth fashion, Lindsay didn't like who she was seated around at the G-star runway show and began moving other celebs seat cards.

"Lindsay decided she wasn't happy with the seating arrangements. She began taking the seating cards for celebrities like Juliette Lewis and Christian Siriano and moving them or throwing them on the floor," said our source. When she threw Taylor Momsen's place card to the floor, event producers approached her. Lohan responded, "Don't [bleep]ing touch me," and "rolled her eyes and continued moving the place cards."

Ugh, would somebody do me a favor and smack her around a bit? Child is off her rocker thinking she can pick who sits next to her. She looks thrilled to be photographed with Taylor Momsen doesn't she? Taylor should have sat on Lindsay's lap and ripped a good wet fart on her leg. I know, in my little world farts take care of everything.

Serena Williams was losing her U.S. Open game over the weekend when a referee fairly announced that Serena had a foot fault. Serena then lost it and told the little Asian referee, "I swear to God, I'm going to take this f*cking ball and shove it down your f*cking throat!" Serena actually said, "Did you hear me?" after that and threw in another "I swear to God" or two. DAYUM!!!!!

Today everyone's saying that Serena's lucky Kanye West acted the fool cause some attention has been lifted off of her. Perhaps. Hopefully she won't do this again. I don't even understand why Serena would even wanna threaten anyone like that. Shoving a ball down someone's throat sounds like a lot of work to me!

Kim Kardashian is the most famous Kardashian sister, or was she? Now that Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian's show has surpassed Keeping Up With the Kardashians numbers and sister Kourtney is preggers, what's a former sextape star to do but return to her whore roots?

Kimmy posted the picture above from her Twitter page. She claimed to be getting ready for a photoshoot. So getting ready for more pictures means that you have to take and post an additional photo of yourself in the process? She should have been under harsher lighting so we can all see those cellulite ripples that are smashed between her clenched thighs.

It would be very difficult for me to wish Megan Fox a lengthy, prominent and respected career in Hollywood, because she's like a brunette version of Spencer Pratt.

Megan is a joke and she knows that she sounds ridiculous, but she just doesn't mind at all. Megan continues to diss the man that made her, Transformers director, Michael Bay.

On Michael Bay:

“[Michael Bay] wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he’s a nightmare to work for.”

On her mental state:

“I definitely have some kind of mental problem and I haven’t pinpointed what it is.”

On her new movie Jennifer's Body:

“I think it’s really about how f*cked up and scary girls are. Girls are f*cking nightmares.”

On saying some of the dumbest sh*t we've heard in our lives.

“Part of my product is being outrageous and outspoken so even when I’m not being that way I’m going to be sold that way.”

Michael Bay is like Hitler. Barack Obama is like Hitler for wanting a public option for health care, so and so is like a Nazi... We've heard that one before, hun. It's like saying, 'You're so mean and I just couldn't think of an original way to articulate my disdain for you... so I'll toss in Adolf Hitler's name for good measure.'

I remember the first time a dude called me a "b*tch!" I laughed hysterically; I do listen to rap afterall, so I wondered, Was that 'insult' supposed to hurt me? I told him he's gotta come a little harder than that! No one has ever called me Hitler before, but if that day ever arrives, I think I would say 'Your mama sucked Hitler's ____!' Actually, I think I'll use that one whether someone calls me Hitler or not.

UPDATE: I skimmed the entire paragraph with Megan's Hitler quote, she actually compliments Michael Bay. You can read it HERE