Suri Cruise is out of control, and if Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes allow her to remain on her rotten path, she's gonna grow up and make Lindsay, Paris and Britney look like nuns. Suri gets away with everything and the whole Scientology nonsense isn't making her any better. Apparently Scientologists treat their kids like "independent individuals capable of making their own decisions."

A couple of people who aren't happy with the way Suri is being raised is Katie's parents Martin and Kathleen Holmes.

"They're very worried that Tom isn't letting Suri enjoy the childhood she deserves because of his Scientology beliefs."

It's obvious Suri is turning into a little demon because she "often throws temper tantrums when she's out with Katie and Tom." One person witnessed Katie and the nanny trying to get Suri in her car seat, but she wasn't having any part of it.

"As always, Suri won and didn't have to sit in her car seat."

They can send her to my house and I'll teach her a little discipline and respect. It's called telling her no and not letting her have what she wants. I know, a major challenge that even Tom and Katie can't handle. I think they're the ones who actually need the lessons.

Suri Cruise took a midnight trip to Serendipity 3 with momma Katie Holmes last night, because all 4 year-olds should be hanging out in dessert restaurants. Anyway, that's besides the point. While Katie was looking around and chatting in the gift shop, her midget Suri was spotted holding some interesting candy.... Penis gummies!

Now, Katie may not have been paying attention to what she was holding, but a source says the group did buy the penis gummies before leaving the store.

'The Penis Gummies sweets were purchased by the group from the gift shop at the front of the restaurant.'

I honestly don't believe those were for Suri, they're just using her as a decoy. I think Katie bought them for Tom Cruise hoping they will satisfy his needs for some dude's wang in his mouth. Heck, they might even be close to Tommy boy's size, so it would be like rubbin' buddies. Ewwwww.

Jake Gyllenhaal is not a homosexual. Granted, I've never seen him have sex with a woman, but I'm willing to go out on a limb and say that it's happened at least once. He's dated famous women, expressed a desire to get married and have children, basically he's given us no reason to think that he's a closeted homosexual. Oh right, there was that movie where the Joker gave it to him in the butt. If you ask me, that's further proof of the man's heterosexuality. If he was actually gay and trying to hide it, he would probably think twice about taking on what might be the gayest role in the history of cinema (A gay cowboy who's also a bottom? Who wrote this movie, Elton John's anal beads?). So why then does Jake continue to be plagued by rumors that he's gay? Is it really just the result of a movie role he took 5 years ago? He also played a guy who hung out with a dead rabbit in Donnie Darko, but no one has accused him of necro-bestiality. No, there's something else at work here; something that says a lot about how Hollywood and moviegoers feel about homosexuality in 2010.

The speculation about Jake's sexuality puts him on an ever-growing list of male film and television actors who are widely believed to be gay, despite their frequent claims to the contrary. Kevin Spacey, Tom Cruise, Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire, Richard Gere, Justin Timberlake, Tom Hanks, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon have all, at one point in their careers, been the subject of widespread gay rumors. Don't get me wrong; it's fully possible that one or more of these men might have pursued musical theatre if Hollywood hadn't come calling (I'm looking at you, Cruise), but as a society, we don't commonly second-guess the sexuality of others, particularly in cases where the person is married with children, and has never shown any of the tell-tale signs of homosexuality (Like, say, blurting out at a party, "Wow, I wish I was having sex with another man right now!" When that happens, bring on the rumors.) It would be easy to chalk it up to the fact that these people are celebrities, so of course they're subject to more speculation, scrutiny and unfounded rumors than us regular folk. Why is it, then, that young actresses aren't the subjects of similar rumors, even when they tongue wrestle each other onscreen?

The answer, it seems, is a bit like Jessica Simpson - sad and simple. In the eyes of America's tabloid readers being a lesbian is sexy, being a gay man is shameful. And because embarrassing secrets sell, while good news sits on the shelf, gay gossip is right up there with rehab stints and overdoses in terms of what sells magazines. Gay rumors are even better than drug stories, though, because they don't require any kind of verification or truth. Just throw a name into the rumor mill, maybe dream up an "anonymous source" who says he banged the guy, and you're in business. Stars have successfully sued mags for spreading gay rumors in the past, but once the story's out there, the damage is done. And because history has shown the public loves a good outing, those stories are sure to keep coming.

With all the recent light shed on the tragic repercussions of gay bullying, Hollywood has decided to show its sensitive side with public campaigns designed to encourage gay teens to keep their heads up and be proud of who they are. Unfortunately, male stars being forced to dodge unfounded rumors sends a conflicting message that homosexuality is something to be ashamed of. It's not the stars working to clear their names who are to blame, or even the handsome young gossip bloggers who might occasionally report an unconfirmed rumor (I gotta eat, y'all!). The root cause of the problem is a culture that can't seem to make up its mind about homosexuality: it's great for a chick's career, disastrous for a dude's; it's tragic when a gay teen commits suicide, but we think it's funny or scandalous when an adult male actor might be closeted.  

One chick I don't ever wanna mess with is Ms. Suri Cruise. The toddler drinks water outta wine glasses, has an iPad, an $850 purse, and a shoe and makeup collection that could make any grown woman jealous.

Suri's hair is always looking messy cause you know she'll bite anyone who tries to put a brush to it.

Katie Holmes' paparazzi magnet was spotted in Prague, where Tom Cruise is shooting Mission Impossible 4. It's adorable that she's already in mommy mode with her stroller and her doll.

If Suri doesn't want a haircut, the least her parents could do is give her a hair tie or a headband. Katie may have asked Suri if she wanted a haircut to which Suri probably began screaming obscenities and reminded her that the only cutting that will take place in their house is what Suri will be doing to Katie if she asks about a haircut again. This four year-old diva means business.

My favorite Tom Cruise role besides playing Maverick in Top Gun (back when he was hot and not crazy) would have to be his role as Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder. I loved the Les Grossman promo commercials for the MTV Movie Awards, and he's completely opposite of any role Tom has ever played. Plus, his dance off with Jennifer Lopez rocked! He's bald, fat, hairy, foul, and rude, which is everything I'm looking for in a man.

If you've got love for Les like I do, then I'm sure you're pleased to know Paramount and MTV are developing a movie about him! Tom Cruise will star in and produce the flick along with Ben Stiller and Stuart Cornfeld. Ben released a hilarious statement today regarding the upcoming Les Grossman flick.

“Les Grossman’s life story is an inspiring tale of the human class struggle to achieve greatness against all odds. He has assured me he plans to quote ‘F**king kill the sh*t out of this movie and make Citizen f**king Kane look like a piece of crap home movie, by the time we are done.’ I am honored to be working with him.”

I'm stoked!

Suri Cruise has an $850 purse, only rocks designer clothes, makeup and heels, doesn't walk cause walking is for poor people, owns over 100 pairs of shoes and has an iPad!

"Four year-old Suri proves again she can keep up with adult trends—this time with her very own iPad." Tom Cruise and his Stepford wife Katie Holmes were eating in a restaurant and they put Suri's stuffed anaimals aside so she could use a drawing program on her iPad. Life&Style is positive that the iPad is Suri's. Who needs paper and crayons or an Etch-a-Sketch when your parents can afford an iPad. Wealthy parents don't have to raise spoiled brats. I doubt Tom's other kids were treated like Suri.

You know Will Smith's son Jaden Smith is beyond cocky, but at least he has manners and is much more grounded than Suri will be at his age if her parents keep treating her like the second coming of Christ.

Katie Holmes performed 'Whatever Lola Wants' at A Fine Romance Benefit for the Motion Picture and Television Fund in L.A. Tuesday night and got hubby Tom Cruise in on the act. I'm glad it was for charity and Katie doesn't plan on giving up her amazing acting career.

I keep seeing other websites boast about Tom Cruise's dance moves in this video. What f*cking dance moves? He sits on a bench, throws himself on the floor, and dips Katie at the end. Quit fluffing Tom's c*ck. He's not gonna send Xenu after you if you say his dance skills suck. Just don't talk about his height.

Tom Cruise tops the Sexiest Short Man poll

Yay! I can finally dye my vagina bright pink!

New York City Firefighter Hunks Calendar... Enough said

Tila Tequila didn't go to Casey Johnson's funeral. What a class act

Lindsay Lohan is the next Mother Theresa

Cher is like hemorrhoids, you think she's gone away, but she pops back up

Adolph Hitler was actually a cool dude

Harry Reid is such an *ss

Blake Lively loses her pants for Esquire magazine

Monday posts will be back to normal next week. In fact, Firecracker and I will be back to our normal posting schedules at that time. See ya tomorrow!

If Tom Cruise can control his Stepford Wife Katie, than Suri Cruise can do the same with her mother. Suri Cruise is always photographed wearing dresses in cold weather without a jacket, rocking high heels, lipstick, and having messy hair. She is clearly the HBIC in the Cruise household and now she's drinking out of a wine glass? I bow down.

Things are getting pretty tense at Katie Holmes' house. Sources say that Tom and Katie have frequent fights because Tommy wants another child but Katie thinks 3-year-old Suri is getting too spoiled.

"He lets her do anything she wants, from eating cupcakes for breakfast to drawing on the walls. He never says no to her.”

“Some days, Suri won’t even let Katie touch her hair.” And the staff are too frightened of losing their jobs to stand in Suri’s way.

Tom has already replaced his mahogany paneling twice due to Suri making it her canvas. In another year or two I wouldn't be surprised to see pics of Suri rocking her Louis Vuitton bags and talking on her cell phone. I can't wait.

Katie Holmes has allegedly won the battle against her dictator hubby, Tom Cruise. Tom and Katie have had "huge problems and arguments" over what preschool to enroll their future money maker in.

Katie won, and Scientology may have to wait for now. Katie's twin will be attending the Catholic Charities Yawkey Centre For Early Education And Learning in Boston. Hmmm... if they can teach Suri that heels are for hookers and letting a grown up brush your hair is a good thing, then I'm all for it.

Here's more pictures of Suri Cruise walking around in the cold without wearing a jacket. As a soCal native, whenever I'm outside and it's below 70, I run from building to building because 'it's freezing!' Suri makes it look so simple.