Train Wrecks

Yup. Again. For the second time in one week, Teen Mom star Jenelle Evans is in police custody, this time for violating a restraining order.

Few details have emerged about the arrest, but given that Jenelle is still on probation, and was picked up by police just last Wednesday for harassing her former roommate, it's safe to say the North Carolina mother of one is facing some serious legal problems.

Just like in her first booking photo of 2012, Jenelle flashed a satisfied grin for police cameras, which seems to suggest she's none too worried about the possibilities of jail time, or losing all custody rights of her son, Jace. On the plus side, with all these mug shots, Jenelle has no shortage of professional-quality Facebook profile pics to choose from. She'll find a new baby daddy in no time!

Teen Mom star Leah Messer was caught pulling a Kim Zolciak. The pregnant mother and engaged reality TV star was photographed while smoking a cigarette today. Ironically, she hit a deer with her car last weekend. Things aren't going so well for Leah in 2012.

Leah already has twins, and she's good at getting knocked up, so she's already pregnant with her third child at the age of 19. She has only been dating her fiance, Jeremy Calvert, for five months. This is gonna end well. Leah Messer smoking while pregnant photo.

The mug shot from Amber Portwood's latest arrest was released today and, needless to say, the Teen Mom star doesn't look too happy.

As the perennial Mother of the Year candidate cools her heels behind bars, more details are emerging about the latest in a long line of legal setbacks for Amber. It seems the "mood altering substance" she was on at the time of her arrest was some kind of prescription pill, several of which authorities found in her purse. Not surprisingly, Amber was unable to furnish a prescription for the pills.

A probation violation hearing is scheduled for January 13, which means Classy-pants Portwood will likely be spending Christmas in the clink for the second year in a row. It's funny, until you remember that this chick is famous because she has a daughter.

Amber Portwood has been arrested again. The troubled Teen Mom star was locked up on Monday for a probation violation and is expected to spend the holidays behind bars.

Amber was on probation stemming from her June arrest for assault on baby daddy, Gary Shirley. Her probation was revoked last month after she was arrested for battery and public intoxication following a fight at an Indiana restaurant. The judge also says Amber didn't complete her GED or anger management classes, as required by the court.

Yesterday, Amber was determined to be "a danger to herself and to society" and taken into custody. She was found to be  under the influence of a "mood altering substance" when the cops came, but she refused to submit to a drug test. Is it too late to nominate this chick for Mom of the Year?

Brooke Mueller got arrested on Friday, but that’s probably a good thing! She’ll be facing the Colorado District court on December 19th, for the charges of cocaine possession and assault. According to People magazine, Brooke’s friends think this might actually be a good thing, serving as a wake-up call for her to get some serious help.

“Brooke can’t stay sober on her own. Maybe this [arrest] will force her to go into a treatment center for a long stay. Thirty-day rehabs won’t work for her...She has enough family to take care of the kids while she’s away.”

It’s obvious that Brooke has got some major issues and needs major help. She went to rehab this summer (on ex-husband Charlie Sheen’s dime) and has already f**ked up. So, uh, based on what we know about what’s going on her life, shouldn’t her kids already be in the care of not-insane family?

Photo: Fame

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Kim Richards has already been called a druggie by Brandi Glanville, and now it looks like she’s also an alcoholic. Surprised none!

Star magazine reports that Kim’s friends and families staged an intervention for her after she fell while sloppy-drunk. But even though she was “holding a glass of wine in her hand when she went down,” she remains unconvinced that she drinks too much.

“Kim drinks daily and doesn’t recognize that she has a serious problem. We’re all concerned.”

During the intervention, Kim reportedly shrugged them off and told them, “I’m not an alcoholic, I’m just a serious social drinker.” Which, when you think about it, might be the same thing. Especially when all you do with your life is go to social events. And all there is to do at these events is drink lots of liquor.

Photo: Wenn

We will soon have another mugshot to add to our Lindsay Lohan collection, because the former actress was sentenced to 30 days in jail today. Judge Stephanie Sautner sentenced Lindsay for repeatedly violating her probation.

Looking like a bloated wannabe Marilyn Monroe, LiLo pleaded with the judge, who gave her no mercy. Lohan must volunteer for more than 30 full days at the morgue, between now and March. She will serve an additional 270 days in jail if she doesn't adhere to her outlined schedule which includes volunteering a psychotherapy sessions.

Due to overcrowding, LiLo will serve 20 percent of her sentence, which is at least six days. Lohan said "Thank God" under her breath as she left the court. She was also told to stop Tweeting about the morgue.

Quick, Lindsay, go screw something up again! I don't think anyone would care about Lindsay if she wasn't constantly getting in trouble. Her drama is the only reason why anyone pays her attention these days. If she actually cleans her act soon, the blogosphere will become much more boring.

Photo: Fame

Lindsay Lohan is very troubled and it’s just plain sad. According to The New York Post, the party girl remains the definition of a downward spiral, and anyone who tries to get involved is immediately nixed from her life. The worst part? She doesn’t think she’s responsible for any of the problems in her life.

“To say she’s delusional would be a major understatement. She genuinely seems clueless as to why these things keep happening to her. There is always something, or someone, else to blame.”

Riiight. Like someone else “made her” shoplift. When she hasn’t been picking up $2500 necklaces, LiLo's been living off money she gets for club appearances and promotions on her Twitter feed and website, but “doesn’t really understand the value of money.” Lindsay hasn’t done anything to clear her debts--and still thinks she’s doing her life the right way.

“If someone disagrees with her, or tells her she’s out of line, she cuts them dead. She is surrounded by sycophants who are hanging on the coattails of her notoriety... it’s unsurprising she doesn’t have much grip on reality.”

You think? I know that she’s trying not to suck at life so much, and really made an effort to wake up early enough to go to her community service on time (after being 40 minutes late to the LA County Morgue her first go-around), but I can only regard her with an eye roll and a sigh. She’s just tiring.

I feel like I've written that headline before. Oh wait, I have. Except this time, Lindsay Lohan effed up even worse than before. Yep, that's still possible. And she looked like this in court...

As part of her ongoing effort to stay out of jail, LiLo promised to do her community service hours at the LA County Morgue. Naturally, on day one she showed up 40 minutes late. After realizing Linds wasn't a corpse being delivered, the folks who run the morgue basically told her they don't appreciate being kept waiting, and she can find someplace else to perform her service hours.

So that makes two community service programs that have given Linds the boot in a matter of weeks. Her lawyers will likely argue that she's been discriminated against due to her fame, but these programs take a huge gamble by admitting someone so high profile with such a sh!tty reputation. When she shows them on day one that she's just as lazy and spoiled as she's rumored to be, you can't blame them for kicking her to the curb.

It'll now be that much more difficult for Lindsay to find someplace to perform the hundreds of hours of service she still owes the court. Since her probation was officially revoked on Wednesday, it may be time for the LA prison system to start stocking up on orange jumpsuits in size negative 8 crackhead.

Update: The morgue folks are apparently a very forgiving lot. Or Lindsay's people slipped them a massive bribe. Either way, they've decided to give her a second chance, and Linds reportedly showed up to volunteer early this morning.

(Photo: WENN)

After getting away with a slap on the wrist roughly 40,000 times, tomorrow might be the day when Lindsay Lohan finally has to face the music. The troubled "actress" and professional crackhead is reportedly so scared of serving time that she's even bringing her bail bondsman to court with her. If that doesn't say guilty, I don't know what does.

In case you have better things to do than follow the misadventures of a delusional coked-out freckle monster, here's the situation: Linds has been seriously slacking on her community service and court-ordered therapy sessions, and Judge Stephanie Sautner has openly stated that she has no qualms about locking Lindsay up again. Lindsay has taken to Twitter to defend herself against accusations that she was kicked out of the women's shelter where she was performing her community service for acting like a spoiled brat diva, but judges generally aren't persuaded by Tweets, so Linds will have to plead her case in court, and she may have a tough time explaining why she hasn't done jack squat to avoid going back to jail.

Sadly, even if Judge Sautner throws the book at Linds, she'll likely be back on the streets within a few hours. She's only been found guilty of a misdemeanor, so she's eligible for bail and since she'll have a bondsman on hand (with whom she's probably on a first name basis by now) it's unlikely she'll be locked up for very long. Of course, the judge could always do something awesome, like set the bail so ludicrously high that even if Lindsay could afford to pay it, it would bankrupt her, but...no, no, I don't want to get my hopes up too high. I have a bit of a Christmas Eve feeling right now.

(Photo: WENN)