Train Wrecks (Page 10)

Lindsay "I Don't Drink or Do Drugs" Lohan was boozing it up all weekend. It all started on Saturday night. Lindsay hit L.A.'s clubs with five men.

LiLo's night didn't even begin until 1:45 when she attended a birthday party for wealthy up and coming producer and actor James Krisel. Never heard of him. Is he hawt?

Lindsay was accompanied to the Hollywood Hills bash by five guys, including her longtime pal Patrick Aufdencamp.

"People were pouring vodka into her red party cup all night. She was way beyond incoherent. She was totally smashed and couldn't even form a sentence. She looked so lonely and lost."

Lindsay stayed at the get-together until just before 3 AM and then moved on to her next pre-dawn party.

Linds is the only celebutard that I would approve of receiving help from Papa Spears. I'm concerned about her. She was drinking vodka - GASP! I've said it before and I'll say it again: Vodka is pure evil and makes you do Girls Gone Wild like things.

Hope she gets better soon. Her out of control drinking is more embarassing than her has been acting career and her father put together.

While Lindsay Lohan told E! that her and Samantha Ronson are just "taking a break," the former actress hit up three clubs last night to get her mind off her favorite fish taco. After Linds' lame clubbing adventure, she went home where she went to her kitchen, grabbed some eggs, and threw them at the paparazzos.

Lindsay began her night doing what she does nearly every day - she went to the salon! Lindsay went to the Byron and Tracey Salon in Beverly Hills where she had her hair dyed a darker red. Guess what? Reading this made me think of one thing - Lindsay is getting paid by the salon to make multiple visits there a week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Meditate on that for a min.

Moving along, after the salon Linds went to Teddy's nightclub but she refused to get out of the car cause she didn't want her photo taken. Her driver obliged and he sped off. After Teddy's LiLo hit up Bar Delux, a spot where SamRo often chills at. Unfortunately for Linds, SamRo's skin and bones weren't there. Boo. You know firecrotch would have set off major fireworks if she did run into her.

Linds then ended her night by going to her house around 2 a.m. with her entourage/ drug dealers. That's when she grabbed some eggs and... you know the rest.

Stevie Nicks battled a drug and alcohol addiction way back, but that doesn't mean she has any sympathy for Trainwreck of the Year Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay Lohan is allegedly excited about possibly playing Stevie Nicks in a movie. In a New York Times interview which was published today, the 60-year-old Fleetwood Mac singer was asked about reports that Lohan, 22, wants to buy the rights to Nicks' life story and play her on film.

"Over my dead body," Nicks snapped. "She needs to stop doing drugs and get a grip. Then maybe we'll talk."

Way to kick someone when they're down, Stevie! I love you.

Lindsay Lohan has hit rock bottom. She says that she's "so alone" without Samantha Ronson and describes last Friday night, when she was locked out of Charlotte Ronson's party, as "the worst night of my life." Que the violins.

Us Weekly says that their interviews took place over emails and phone calls and that Lindsay Lohan was "both agitated, crying and baffled by the turn of events."

LiLo and Sam have been bumping snatches for almost two years and things came to a screeching halt on Friday after cops were called to SamRo's house after another argument. Samantha has been trying to dump Lindsay for a month! But each time that she does, Lindz has threatened to kill herself.

Lindsay says, "It's absolute hell." She also added, "I'm not a bad person and this is what happens. I was raised to treat people well, and I'm so tired of this drama."

The only thing I can think of when I read this is how similar Lindsay is to her psychopath father Michael Lohan. They are always victims. The world is out to get them. The drugs they have on them are not theirs, the tabloids are their preferred outlet for shit-talking, and if they don't get their way then it's time for the pity party to pop off, bitches!

"Everyone's turned on me," says the actress. She tells the magazine that the night of the Chateau showdown, Nicole Richie walked by her and said "Uck," and Drea De Matteo said, "Come at me, bitch."

"I'm a f--king 22-year-old girl who's in love. I felt like I was in Mean Girls, but worse: Mean Girls was a movie." - Mean Girls reference? Feeling like you're in a movie? LiLo was trippin' on the bad stuff.

Dina Lohan is one of those moms who rather spend time allegedly doing lines of cocaine with daughter Lindsay Lohan than being a responsible mother.

White Oprah, 46, took her 15-year-old trainwreck in training, Ali, 15, to Villa nightclub with Blohan last week. Things didn't go as planned.

"Do you know who I am?" Dina protested when they were turned away at the door because of Ali's age.

"You're making a huge mistake. Huge!" Lindsay added.

Lindsay's little declaration is code for other things. She's gonna get all her drug dealers, porn star king friend, porn stars and their friends to stop partying at Villa. Watch out now. It's not like Linds' crew would spend much on drinks anyway when their trippin' on other controlled substances.

Lindsay and Ali better be thankful that Linds made funds from Disney cause you know Dina would be out workin' the corner with them so she could get herself some designer bags. LiLo believes that it's a "huge mistake" when folks abide by the law? Explains everything!

I had to look at this picture a few times and re-read the caption because Lindsay Lohan looks so awful and so effing trashed. Why the eff did Lindsay say that she doesn't do drugs and doesn't drink?!!!! This is not the face of a sober 22-year-old woman, more like a rapidly aging cokehead. She's a Pam Anderson in training.

Lindsay was photographed with rapper Q-Tip at Queen Latifah's 39th birthday party over the weekend. At first I wondered why she went to the party to begin with, but now I think I know she went to score more drugs.

Infomercial geek Vince Shlomi was arrested in Miami Beach last month after a business transaction gone wrong. A hooker offered Vince some goods and he went with it, taking her back to his hotel. But when Vince began to kiss the whore she allegedly  "bit his tongue and would not let go."

According to the po po, Vince then pulled a Shamwow on the hooker, punching the whore several times until she released his tongue. Both the prostitute and her customer were arrested for felony aggravated battery. Prosecutors did not prosecute Vince or the ho, and by the looks of these disturbing photos, Vince definitely got out on top.

This entire story is equally strange as it is gross. I think the hooker is kind of badass for having the balls to bite a tongue and not let it go, but she's also a fucking moron. Then the Shamwow guy is an idiot for wanting to kiss a prostitute in the first place. Was he tryna make love? She's probably not used to being kissed and bit him so he wouldn't wipe the cocaine off her gums.

Lindsay Lohan says it would be nice if people would believe in her. Well we don't, dumb skank!

In a recent Nylon magazine interview, Lohan admitted she is looking for work and would love to "sign with IMG and do ad campaigns and model more... That's fun for me."

On Tuesday Tyson Beckford attended a Make Me a Supermodel party where he discussed Lindsay's prospects for becoming a successful model.

"She has the partying part down right. But I don't think she's got the focus. I mean, it requires a lot of focus and a lot of people think they can do it, but they really find that it's a lot harder.

"Ask anyone - it's a lot harder than it looks. I guess that's why they call us supermodels - we make it look easy. But it's not as easy as it looks, so I wish her all the best."

Linds is gorgeous and she's already a cokehead, like many models, except her image is so much worse than the rest in the modeling industry. I'm looking forward to Lindsay's 15 minutes exploding all over her frecklepuss. Hoping she'll do lots of Vh1 reality TV shows about battling a coke addiction and various strains of STDs at the same time.

Lindsay Lohan gave E! a pity party interview where, just like her psychopath father, she is blaming others for her own actions.

Here goes it, all:

"They need to stop saying we're [Linsay and Samantha'] fighting. People telling lies about me to her and all this garbage. I'm really a good person and I have a good heart and just want to work. The only reason I go to clubs is to hear Samantha spin or be normal."

She says she's sober, artistic even.

"I don't drink, I don't do drugs and I don't lie. I love to act and write and be creative, and I want to help people by playing characters that can send a positive message out to whomever may need it."

I move forward and I change... If people would just leave my personal life alone�"because it's really not that interesting�"then I could land a great role. But all the sicko fans and the noise is so distracting."

"I just want to live the dream that I've worked so hard for since I was 4 years old.

"If people would just stop judging me and accusing me and making me out to be this aloof, spoiled, ungrateful and unprofessional person that I am not and could never be...

It would be really nice if people would believe in me."

It's obvious that Lindsay doesn't believe in herself. If she did, she would stop behaving badly since she knows that the tabs will be all over it when she does. She just doesn't see that the media will tear down everyone. Michael Phelps, anyone? Lindsay is supposed to do right so that she doesn't give the tabloids material every single day. If this fucktard can't figure that out than her career will continue to fizzle out and she won't even be able to sell shitty products like spray tan or overpriced leggings. One can dream.

She sure is!

Lindsay Lohan's  excessive spending is causing problems in her fauxmosexual relationship with Samantha Ronson.

"Lindsay is spending like crazy! She's living on credit right now. She has no cash. The problem is, the money being spent is mostly Sam's because Lindsay doesn't really have any of her own at the moment.

Sam really thinks Lindsay needs to learn how to become a recessionista and manage her money better."

Another "friend" of Lindsay's added that Lindz has never been a rich bitch, but it's only gotten worse and the only money she makes comes from her personal appearance fees when she accompanies Samantha. However, because Linds continues to break Sam's windows and fight in the middle of the night, clubs aren't paying her firesnatch the same rates that they used to.

Recent extravagant purchases the starlet has made include a $30K Rolex watch and a new Maserati, a glam ride which usually costs upward of $100K.

Well, at least this information allows us to gauge a specific experation date for this relationship. When Lindsay starts getting actual work, we can expect the subsequent breakup rumors that emerge to actually be true. They will both be better off.