If only that line worked, right?
Rapper DMX was rushed to the hospital yesterday after passing out at the Sony recording studios, sources tell us. His rep didn't return calls but rumors of substance abuse are swirling, especially after a video hit the Internet showing the rapper looking nervous and acting erratically while working on an album.
Disturbing coked up video that surfaced a few days ago.
Daddy Dude is now available to sperminate you on your first date. K-Fed broke up with his girlfriend of three months, Colin Farell's sextape buddy, Nicole Narin.
Plus, Britney thinks she's got herself a plan.
The troubled pop star has reportedly accused Kevin Federline of smoking pot around the couple's sons - to counter claims she boozes in front of the kids."Britney believes Kevin's been smoking pot in front of the kids. She says she can smell it in the boys' hair and on their clothes when she has her visitation with them."
The source adds, "She's asked the court-appointed monitor and her lawyers if they can prove the kids have been exposed to environments in which drugs have been taken."
This idea must have come from Sean Preston because Britney's reps don't seem to be fighting, or defending her successfully whatsoever. Kevin's been going through this whole trial without drug tests, without a court appointed monitor and without the paps.
Whatever, Britney. You'll probably smoke pot in front of the kids yourself, claim it's K-Fed, then fail your drug test by testing positive for marijuana.
That about sums things up.
"American Idol" trainwreck finalist Jessica Sierra is sperminated and incarcerated.
The father is a "rapper" and Jessica is ecstatic over the news. She's currently in the infirmary in the Falkenburg Road Jail in Florida on a "pregnancy diet."
Jessica's spawn has a lifetime of fun to look forward to -- look, it's mommy in a sex tape! Sierra is currently facing two misdemeanor charges of disorderly intoxication and obstructing or opposing an officer and two felony counts of possession of cocaine and battery.
It's like everyone is preggers these days. I'm starting to think even a male can get knocked up. I'm also interested in this "pregnancy diet" Jessica's on. Maybe they pick half the bugs outta her food before giving it to her first.
tmz
Spears and her mother confirmed the pregnancy to OK! magazine, saying she was 12 weeks along and the father is Jamie Lynn's longtime boyfriend Casey Aldridge. Aldridge's mother confirmed.
"It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected," Jamie Lynn told OK!, according to the Associated Press. "I was in complete and total shock and so was he."
Spears told the magazine that after confirming the pregnancy with a home test and a subsequent doctor's visit, she told only one friend â" then waited two weeks before telling anybody else, including her parents.
"I needed to work out what I would do for myself before I let anyone's opinion affect my decision," she told the magazine. "Then I told my parents and my friends. I was scared, but I had to do what was right for me."
She told her parents just before Thanksgiving.
"I didn't believe it because Jamie Lynn's always been so conscientious," her mother, Lynne Spears, told OK!. "She's never late for her curfew. I was in shock. I mean, this is my 16-year-old baby."
Spears, a high school junior who is 10 years younger than Britney, had until now escaped much of the attention about her personal life that has surrounded her sister. Jamie Lynn stars as a schoolgirl at the fictitious Pacific Coast Academy in Zoey 101, finishing its third season next month as one of Nickelodeon's highest-rated shows.
*** Oh boy! I have so much to say about this story, but I will refrain. I could go on forever.
"It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected. I was in complete and total shock and so was he." - Excuse me, but if you're having sex, why is it "a shock" when you get knocked up? I'm shocked when I don't get knocked up. I go through the same thing, but in reverse... and you know I blame Kevin Federsperm for all this!! Where was he on the night of conception, huh?
Stay strong, Jamie! You'll make a good mom. You and your baby can be best friends in just 10 years. Heh. On a sidenote, I really don't wanna see her baby bump. That's just disturbing.
And lastly, Jamie Lynn on premarital sex:
"I definitely don't think it's something you should do; it's better to wait. But I can't be judgmental because it's a position I put myself in."
Jamie Lynn Spears, 16, has confirmed to OK! Magazine that she is pregnant. Oh. My. God.
A source tells us the interview, which hits stands tomorrow, is six pages and is on the record with Jamie Lynn and her mother. She tells the mag that the father is Casey Aldridge, who she has been dating for some time and first met at church. Brit's younger sister, star of Nick's "Zoey 101," says she's keeping the baby.
Sources tell us that she has not yet told her older sister. Well, she knows now.
UPDATE: Nickelodeon issued the following statement this afternoon: "We respect Jamie Lynn's decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn's well being."
This is crazy!!!! I just think this is so sad. WTF, bitch? Britney 2.0 is in the house. Crazy is in their DNA. Christmas came early for Jamie. Heh.
tmz
Oh, Tara Reid! How you never change!
She may have slimmed down but she still parties hard â" maybe too hard, actually. She collapsed late at night and was rushed to the hospital; Tara, you've given us all quite the scare (again).
Just days after she was spotted peacefully beading bracelets (seriously, look at the bracelets) Down Under, our favorite orange-hued gal flew to the isle of Bali, where she hit the ground running. Literally.
On her first night partying out on the town, er, island, Tara took a spill that sent her straight to the hospital, X17 is reporting. She's cut up and bruised, but she was released from the hospital, and is now back at her hotel recovering.
We're sure Tara will be just fine. She's bounced back from far worse, or at least her career has. Um, scratch that.
Still, somehow we're sure Tara will make a speedy and pain-free recovery.
ny post
Amy Winehouse's mother has written an open letter to Amy in hopes of trying to get her to open her eyes and realize what she's doing to herself. It makes me wonder if her mother thinks this is her last bit of hope to help Amy before it's too late.
Why Haven't They Gone To Find Amy Themselves?
We want to help you, but we know that unless you want to be helpedâ" unless you come to usâ"anything we tried would be in vain. So this letter is my way of making sure that you know thatâ"that all you have to do is come to us, Amy, and we'll do everything in our power to get you well again. After all, you are still my baby and you always will be.
How they felt about the photos from last week of Amy walking the streets in a bra and jeans:
We were terrified after we saw those pictures of you earlier this week, wandering the freezing streets of London at dawn in your underwear. All I wanted to do was rush into those pictures and wrap you up in a big, warm blanket.
Her Mothers feelings on Blake:
When I was quoted recently as saying "Thank God Blake's inside" what I meant was that putting him in jail might help him to clean up HIS act and change HIS life. It wasn't said out of viciousness or to upset you. If your relationship is meant to be, it will survive.I'm a great believer that everything in life happens for a reason, a purpose. And if you two are destined to be together forever, then so be it.
She has watched fame take over Amy's health:
Early fame has overwhelmed you, it's dizzied you and muddled your mind. For a moment, forget you're a superstar. You're also young and vulnerable. Remember you're just an ordinary human being, no stronger than any of the rest of us. You think you're strong enough to get through this on your own, darling, but you're not. I want you back, and I'll make you fitter and stronger. I'd like nothing better than to have you home and help you put on a bit of weight with some wholesome home cooking.
Amy Winehouse performed a surprise gig at the Jazz After Dark club after a 6 hour drinking session with some of her pals. That's not a gig, that's more like karaoke!
"She jumped on to the stage and started singing two new songs. Everyone was open-mouthed in amazement - she was sensational."Performing made the star peckish though: "We reopened the kitchen especially for her as she said she was starving and wanted loads of calamari and tuna mayonnaise salad."After she'd eaten, she went onto nearby Balans restaurant where she stayed until 5am, with an onlooker reporting she was "in very chatty mood and was roaring with laughter all night." However, there may have been a reason for her good mood - when she left the restaurant at 5am, she was spotted with white powder caked around her nostrils.
In other Amy news, she was nominated for 6 Grammys but at this rate she'll be lucky to be alive by the time the award show comes!
Britney Spears' new buddy Sam Lutfi has some serious skeletons in his closet. Us Magazine has gotten their hands on some complaints and restraining orders that have been brought against Sam in the past. One claim from one of Sam Lutfi's former business acquaintance's Jumana Issa says that Sam:
harassed me repeatedly with obscene e-mails, offensive faxes, telephone voice mails (around 1 a.m. to 3 a.m.), out-of-control behavior and outrageous telephone hang-ups (around 15 to 30 a day)." In one fax, Lutfi scolded: "Peel yourself away from all the candy ... and overhangin [sic] belly ... and answer my e-mails.
Sam's old neighbor Douglas Snoland filed a complaint in '04 claiming Sam tried to kick in his door and even threatened to kill his mother. In Douglas' complaint he accused Sam of saying:
"I will beat your ass ... Your mother is a f-----g old hag. You are a f----t. You will regret the day you ever met me."
Douglas Snoland was granted a three-year restraining order on Sam Lutfi.
It's obvious Britney has made some ridiculous decisions over the past couple of years, but hopefully she'll get a wake-up call and separate herself from this dude. I bet he's the type to run to all the tabloids to sell stories and photos if Britney ever cuts off the friendship. Considering all the complaints and restraining orders that are coming out, he could do a lot worse.
Hey! It looks like she's missing some of the cottage cheese skin on her stomach that she had a few months ago! What's with doing push-ups next to the pool?
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