Train Wrecks (Page 4)

Charlie Sheen was holed up with three porn stars in Las Vegas over the weekend. The infamous porn convention was going down, so naturally Charlie's greasy @ss had to get his trainwreck self down there!

Yesterday Charlie was seen drinking Grey Goose Vodka at the Palms hotel bar.

Charlie Sheen is with three porn stars.  His #1 companion is Bree Olson. Olson is 23 years old, and in 2008 won Best Anal Sex Scene at the AVN Awards. Olson has range -- she was also a nanny on "Keeping Up with the Kardashians."

Olson went to college for a year, majoring in Biology.

The 45 year-old father of four young children is doing a great job at being a positive role model to his children. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to learn that Charlie uses no protection with these porn stars and hookers either. SAD!

Lindsay Lohan is saying that Betty Ford staffer Dawn Holland was abusive and made her cry, and Dawn is saying that Lindsay was abusive, sprained her arm, and cost her a job - Betty Ford says her interview violates confidentiality rules. TMZ reportedly paid Dawn $10k for her story, which is more than five months worth of compensation from the Betty Ford clinic.

Lindsay is squarely disputing the story chemical dependency technician Dawn Holland told TMZ ... that Lindsay attacked her and caused her to sprain her arm so severely she's on workers' comp.  Lindsay says, for starters, she wasn't even with her two roommates hours before the incident. Lindsay says she was out getting her hair done.

According to LiLo, when she returned to Betty Ford, Dawn grabbed her abruptly and pushed her so hard, which made Lilo cry. Linds then went inside the house and called 911. Lindsay also claims that she asked Dawn to give her a breathalyzer, but Dawn refused.

Lindsay claims there were not only witnesses that saw everything ... there are surveillance cameras to prove her story.

Lindsay's version of what went down sounds like Whitney Houston telling Diane Sawyer "SHOW ME THE RECEIPTS!" Lindsay's story is something you come up with while you're so "not drunk" but you just so happen to be in a room that's spinning where everyone around you appears to have two heads. Surveillance footage probably shows Lindsay doing drunken Kung Fu on this Dawn woman and snorting salt cause she's craving coke.

Amber Portwood still hasn't learned how to keep her anger in check. According to Radar Online, Amber has physically abused her ex-fiance Gary Shirley yet again. Amber had bonded with Gary's latest girlfriend Ashley after she thought Ashley and Gary's relationship had ended. When she realized Gary was playing them both, Amber confronted Gary about playing both of them.

"Amber said Gary was sending her flowers and texting her, saying he hadn't been talking to Ashley.Once they got to Gary's house, Amber hit Gary for trying to play both of them."

"When Amber learned that Gary was still communicating with Ashley, she got in Ashley's face like she was going to hit her."

Why is Amber so worried about Gary dating another girl when Amber has her own prize winning boyfriend, Bob Evans waiter Clinton Yunkers? She can't handle seeing Gary happy with someone else.

Unfortunately for us, Amber didn't hit Ashley. That would be too good to be true. Gary's too much of a puss to stand up to her and hitting her isn't going to make the situation any better. He needs to get Amber on Bully Beatdown to get a real butt kickin' from a trained fighter.

"Pretty Wild" star Alexis Neiers has been ordered to spend a year in rehab after being busted with black tar heroin on December 1. Alexis is suppose to be serving probation as part of a plea deal for burglarizing Orlando Bloom's home, but after missing a post-jail probation meeting in November, authorities showed up to her house and found the drugs.

Neiers -- who spent one month behind bars earlier this year for burglarizing Orlando Bloom's house -- admitted today that she violated the terms of her probation by being in possession of heroin when she was arrested on December 1.

The L.A. County Superior Court judge ordered Neiers to spend one year in a live-in drug treatment program ... and told her this was the "last time we're going to have this conversation."

Alexis is gonna be 'Pretty Sober' after her year in treatment. She seems like she has the train wreck gene in her brain, so it won't take long after she's released before she's shooting up again and causing more mayhem for the media.

Demi Lovato is a crazy @ss b!tch and she punched out some chick with a dude's name. Alex Welch was allegedly riding in a private jet when Lovato struck her in the face. Demi believed that Alex snitched on what Demi did at a party the night before.

The dancer was simply minding her own business on a private jet leaving Bogata, Colombia ... when Demi "walked up to Alex and with a closed fist, struck her on the left side of her face." Alex was knocked clean out of her seat -- and had to receive emergency medical attention.

Demi was removed from the plane and returned home and checked into rehab. Alex has hired a high powered attorney and is considering the best way to get the most money outta Demi, my words.

Miley Cyrus' BFF is a psycho! Who in their right mind would assume that pulling a JWoww on a plane is a good idea? No wonder the coke snorting whore is in rehab. Regardless, Demi will be much more successful post-rehab than she was before. We like our b!tches crazy, and we can never have enough Brit Brits running around braless with detaching weaves or Lindsay Lohans fighting over snatch and blow up in da club.

Sarah Palin hates the media so much that she stars in a reality TV show and she keeps "writing" dumb books about how amazing she is. Willow Palin made headlines for her Facebook rant, then Life & Style published a story about Willow drinking vodka and buying marijuana. Bristol reportedly smokes weed, Track Palin allegedly loves his Oxycontin... WTF will Piper get into?

Willow issued a statement to E! news in which she calls Life & Style's drug story "lies." She also congratulates and encourages her older sister on her DWTS run.

"Today I am focusing on a special event - Bristol and Mark [Ballas]'s appearance in the Dancing With the Stars finals. Nothing will take away how proud we are of Bristol and her grit and determination that got her this far... It is disappointing to see people claim they know me to sell stories."

Willow hints that a story about something she did a year ago is "ridiculous."

"As for people accusing me of being at a party over a year ago, the accusations are ridiculous. The same people saying this were also the ones attacking my family on Facebook. Unfortunately some people have learned that there are publications that will pay money for stories, no matter how misleading. Nevertheless, I recognize that my family has been given a great honor and privilege to make a difference in this country, and even though I am just 16, more is expected of me."

Willow didn't refute claims that she's knocked up! Fingers crossed.

Taylor Momsen throws her parents under the bus in a revealing new interview. The Gossip Girl star and singer-songwriter says that she looks so upset all the time because her childhood was stolen from her.

Taylor said, "Everyone's like, 'Wow, why is she upset and why is she so miserable about things?' My parents signed me up with Ford (modeling agency) at the age of two. No two-year-old wants to be working, but I had no choice. My whole life, I was in and out of school. I didn't have friends. I was working constantly and I didn't have a real life."

It would be easy for me to shade Taylor for saying this, but I just can't. I'm much older than Taylor and I blame my parents for everything - from creating a rebellious slut to giving me a first name that makes people sing Christmas carols when I introduce myself.

Best believe I was blaming my folks for things when I was 17. This is the land of the not guilty by reason of insanity and 'I plead the fifth, b!tch!'

Blaming others and deflecting responsibility is more American than apple pie, and Ms. Momsen should be considered patriotic. I also can totally picture coke boogers falling right outta her nose during interviews. If you're going one-on-one with this masturbating whore, don't forget the sanitizer and the Kleenex.

Lindsay Lohan has been festering in rehab for a while, getting crazier and crazier, like a pitbull in a cage, being poked by Michael Vick. I figured when they let her back into the wild, she would immediately snort up all the white powder in existence and then bite someone on the neck just to prove she was the baddest b!tch in the 'hab.

So you can imagine my disappointment when they let the chains off Linds over the weekend and all she did was go to the movies and buy some sh!t. Look at her! She's even smiling! I expected her to stumble out into the light and start flailing around looking for drugs like some pissed off, freckled zombie. Maybe there's something to this 'rehab' business.

Accompanied by two staffers from the Betty Ford Center, Lindsay was allowed to go to a movie and nearby Borders store, where a witness said where she bought some magazines. Movies and magazines? I thought she'd be figuring out the best way to get high from car exhaust as soon as she stepped out the door. Sigh. Well, hopefully she saw that new Robert Downey, Jr. movie so she can get a look at what post-crackhead success looks like. He has that whole 'being talented' thing going for him, though...

So, Linds in rehab isn't quite as effed-up as I thought, but it's still funny to compare the before and after shots. We used to see her stepping out of expensive cars and into exclusive clubs. Now, she can't even buy a magazine without some rehab nurse standing there ready to put a tranq dart in her neck if she runs for it. How the coked-out have fallen.

Teen Mom train wreck Amber Portwood and her battered boyfriend Gary Shirley have reportedly broken up. Wow. Gary may be able to walk around bruise and b!tch slap free if he stays away from her abusive @ss.

Amber's dad Shawn spoke with Radar Online about the recent breakup and says the couple doesn't belong together. No sh!t!?! That's probably why Gary was seen hooking up with another chick this past week!

“They don’t belong together. They just don’t mix. There’s not enough there. They separated and she’s moving on.”

Shawn also points out Gary's not as innocent as he's made out to be on Teen Mom.

"There was a lot behind the scenes that wasn’t shown that would explain how she got to that point. They didn’t show what he did to instigate that."

“He’s a mind game; he thinks he can play mind games. He holds that baby over her head.”

They may be dunzo as a couple right now, but that could change real quick. Misery loves company and although the entire world knows these two suck at a relationship with each other, they're bound to get back together. If Gary had the slightest bit of confidence in himself then he would move on and quit putting Amber's p*ssy on a pedestal.

Jasmine Waltz is one star-f*cking, star-punching hot mess. She's a Hollywood waitress who's famous for no other reason than banging famous people and punching other famous people in the face. She's been romantically linked to everyone from Ryan Seacrest to Doug Reinhardt and now she's helping David Arquette get over his post-Courtney 4-month Cox slump.

David admitted to doing the horizontal Waltz on Howard Stern's radio show today, though he claims he waited until he and Court were officially dunzo before banged the professional Hollywood hoe.

This isn't the first time that talentless train wreck and Megan Fox-lookalike Jasmine has gotten the public's attention with her vadge. In 2009 she served as public beard for deeply-closeted American Idol host Ryan Seacrest and just last year she awesomely punched Lindsay Lohan in the face (!) in a jealous rage over ex-boyfriend and walking disease sponge Doug Reinhardt.

So, Jasmine Waltz might be the best living representation of everything that's wrong with Hollywood and, ya know...the world, but she also punched Lindsay Lohan in the face so I for one think we should probably build some giant statue in her honor. I'll get right to work on that. Good job, David. Put a ring on that violent psycho ho!