WTF (Page 49)

Rumors were swirling over the past few days that Lil Wayne's 8 year-old daughter, Reginae Carter died in a car accident. Lil Wayne has come out saying it's all bullshit!!

"It has come to my attention that there are recent reports circulating regarding my daughter. I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who are genuinely concerned about Reginae and her safety.

Please allow me to dispel any rumors or speculations and report that my daughter is alive, healthy and surrounded by family who care and love her dearly.

The rumors are completely false and unfounded; neither Reginae nor any other member of my family has been involved in any car accident. My family and I truly appreciate the concern and support shown to us."

Lil Wayne is so sweet. I would have been typin' some mad shit if people thought it was funny or entertaining to say that my daughter was killed. Scandalous. Thank God she's okay.

Hayden Panettiere's parents went for a walk with their dogs in Los Angeles yesterday, despite the fact that Hayden's dad Alan had been arrested the night before on domestic abuse charges.

Extra reports:
Lesley and Alan told Mario Lopez, "Nothing actually happened." Explained Mario,

"In fact, Lesley wasn't even aware that Skip had been arrested. Hayden found out about her dad's arrest when he called her from jail. They love each other very much and want everyone to know that the matter was completely blown out of proportion."

I don't know how getting beat down is sumthin' that's blown out of proportion, but when you've been married for decades, I guess you find new ways of performing foreplay that I'm pretty clueless about. They do look happy. Makeup sex. Hayden's dad was probably an intoxicated bastard at the time. Hopefully it's a lesson learned situation for him and he won't lay his hands on his wife again.

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Since no amount of cosmetic surgery will make actual human eyes larger, some girls are trying another way to up their cute quotient: extra-wide contact lenses!

They're not only tinted, but tinted prominently in the extra-wide outer ring. The result is the appearance of a bigger, wider iris.

To quote the sales copy, "Wanna get big, watery shiny eyes without any surgery? CRAVE AND ENVY NO MORE!"

The extra-wide contact lenses are made by a variety of companies including Geo and Dueba, and cost in the $30-$50 per pair range. It seems they're not just cosmetic - send in your prescription and the lenses will be made to order.

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"Beyoncé Knowles has been a spokesperson for the L'Oréal Paris brand since 2001. We highly value our relationship with Ms. Knowles. It is categorically untrue that L'Oréal Paris altered Ms. Knowles' features or skin-tone in the campaign for Feria's hair color."

Damage control! I worked for a magazine and I'd sit there and watch the art director Photoshop and airbrush the hell out of the models in our spreads. Bullshit!

And, let's just say L'Oreal didn't lighten Beyonce's skin, they made sure she was under some intense lighting! And they overexposed the image. In summary: Beyonce's much darker, L'Oreal knows it and that's why they made her look diff. That's categorically the truf! If B can't get outta her contract, she better speak up and make sure they don't do this again. I don't expect anything less from the Knowles camp.

Bianca's mama told The New York Post her side of the Hairspray/ Top Model ghetto booty whoopin' in an airport situation.

Things began to pop off when Bianca and Nikki started talking shit to each other. Nikki tried to rip off Bianca's earring. Lmao. How about kicking her in the tits or grasping onto her hair like sophisticated ladies do?

After Nikki grabbed Bianca's earring, the brawl was on!

Nikki's dad, Carl, was allegedly "punching [Elaine] in the head." He is being held in jail until August 8. Elaine is still in the intensive care unit of a Miami hospital recovering from a broken nose and cracked skull.

As hilarious as this all is, why was Carl beating on a woman?!!!!! And once again, who do I have to give a damn blumpkin with Altoids in order to get a few seconds of some good footage?

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Nikki Blonsky, the chunky as hell chick from Hairspray, had a glorious airport beat down.

The best part about this shocking, violent incident is that Nikki beat down America's Next Top Model contestant, Bianca Golden, in a Caribbean airport. Nikki's family was saving five seats that they placed their luggage on. Like assholes, yes, I'm the pot calling the kettle black, Bianca's family felt entitled to those seats. Chaos ensued. The beatdown began.

Nikki's father injured Golden's mother so badly that she was airlifted to Miami to have her injuries treated.

Nikki was charged with actual bodily harm and her father, Carl, was charged with grievous bodily harm. Carl is still in jail for allegedly beating the crap out of Bianca's mom. One of Bianca's family members even bit Nikki's foot. Don't feel too bad, though, you know Nikki was sitting on everyone and farting. Nikki left the airport in a neck brace and Nikki and Golden have both been released on bail.

Who do I have to give a blumpkin to in order to see this footage? And don't airports have cameras for security purposes? This footage must get leaked!!

People

A buff John Mayer, who took a stand and urged the Los Angeles City Council to "regulate" the paparazzi, changes gears �" and clothes �" Thursday, heading to the gym for a workout.

People magazine is really one of my fave celeb publications because they take ass-kissing to a whole other level, they toss salad and throw in cheese croutons. Heh. They go to extremes to make nice with celebs in order to get exclusives even if they gotta lie. John Mayer is NOT buff! Zac Efron could kick his ass any day, and he's like 10 years younger. Now that boy is ripped. John's arms only have light definition. Please!

It would be in Verne's best interest to shut the eff up about his "abuse" right now. It's not, er, I don't see how this would help his career or help him get laid and that's exactly what he needs right now. Booty.

In the lawsuit, Troyer who is 2'8" and weighs 40 pounds, accuses the 5'5" 110-pound Shrider of intentional infliction of emotional distress and battery. The 39-year-old is asking for $20 million in damages.

"When you pick up a 2'8" human being and throw him to the floor, it hurts," Troyer's attorney, Ed McPherson, told TMZ.

Troyer feared for his safety and "did not want to go into his own home without having someone else accompanying him," according to the court documents. The papers describe one instance in which "Shrider grabbed [Troyer] very forcefully by the arm, held him against his will, and did not let him get away from her."

Troyer basically says the chick terrorized him, once picked the lock to his bedroom door, pushing away a 100 pound scooter that was used to block the door, and then throwing him to the floor."

Responding to Troyer's lawsuit Shrider released a statement late Thursday afternoon.

"This law suit is ridiculous and riddled with lie upon lie from Verne Troyer and his camp. It is in our opinion a transparent attempt to secure as much publicity as he can from his less then average career in the wake of his most recent failure in The Love Guru."

I love how the bitch uses 'then' when it should be 'than.' I LUVS that shit! She sounds credible.

Dontcha just feel so sorry for Verne? And if the abuse was so serious, why sue her now, after the sex tape leak?

He's so bitter. He should start dating some hot midget bitches. They're probably the biggest sluts out there, happy to get laid. And maybe if I dated a midget, I would toss him a few times too, especially if he was being quiet and I was wasted, mistaking him for a doll when I'm trying to clean up. It's possible.

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Kimora Lee Simmons has won sole custody of her two daughters with hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons, Ming, 8, and Aoki, 5.

Kimora Lee Simmons, 33 and CEO of the Baby Phat line, cited irreconcilable differences when she filed for divorce from Russell Simmons, 50, in March after nearly 10 years of marriage.

According to legal papers obtained by The Insider, Russell Simmons gets the girls one week out of every eight, plus extra time for summer vacations and holidays.

In addition, he pays $20,000 per child per month in child support. That cash flow stops when each reaches the age of 19 1/2, or until the daughter is emancipated, married, becomes self-supporting, joins the armed forces or stops living with Kimora Lee Simmons.

Finally, he's required to buy or lease a car valued at $60,000 or more for the girls once every 24 months.

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've never heard of anyone having to buy a pricey whip or lease one every 24 months for their kids with their ex-wife. Who the hell is Kimora's lawyer? I need to start saving up now for when I split from my wealthy future ex hubby. Congrats, diva ho.

People

Fashion critics have blasted model Karolina Kurkova for looking too fat in a bikini. Seriously. The Czech model wore a bikini in a recent Cia Maritima runway show and revealed what the horrified style snobs called "back fat, love handles and cellulite."

Karolina Kurkova, 24, is one of the highest-earning models in the world, according to Forbes, and is best known for being a Victoria's Secret Angel and whose super-fit physique has graced the pages of international fashion mags.

But after the show during Sao Paulo's Fashion Week, a Brazilian paper noted that the leggy 5-foot-11 Kurkova "shocked" the audience when she appeared looking uncharacteristically chubby with "cellulite on her butt."

She has some back fat fo sho, and her ass is not in check. Ya know, my friend does Carmen Electra's stripper workout DVD and says it does wonders for your ass and thighs. Karolina needs to give something healthy a try, hope she's not puking right now.

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