It’s Time To Discuss David Beckham’s Penis

David Beckham abs photo

Many are wondering if Becks stuffs his junk in the front. I, myself, have also participated in this debate, saying, ‘Those pictures aren’t real! It’s Photoshop!’ and the like.

I think the main reason why so many are saying that his penis has been enhanced in his Armani ads is because we don’t want to believe that one of the most handsome men on the planet is well endowed, too. This world would seem much too cruel and Posh would have to, like, disappear forever.

But, here’s the thing – I was thinking of David Beckham’s pecker on Saturday, because that’s what I do every Saturday, it’s, like, more calming than meditation, and it occurred to me that to find the answer to one of the most important questions perplexing the straight female and gay male population worldwide, all I had to do was look within. Cue the violins.

The answer is very common sense, really. While it’s uncertain how many inches David’s packin’, even if his photos are enhanced, it remains obvious that Dave has a large dick. Reason why? No man with a microscopic or even average size penis would agree to take all his clothes off and have pictures taken of him in his underwear for a major campaign.

And no man with David’s status would take off his clothes, knowing his picture will be plastered everywhere, in his underwear if he knows he can’t bring it.

Moral of the story, you should start thinking of David Beckham’s penis on any given Saturday or while you’re trying to fall asleep, while you’re at the dentist, while you’re baking a cake right after the dentist cause no one tells you not to eat sugar like they own your palate, and while you’re having sex and can’t climax. Great things will cum, I promise; and Becks is packin’, baby,… and everyone lived happily ever after.