Tag Archives: Basketball Wives

It’s your last dose of Basketball Wives until season five, so you might as well enjoy the ride. Get ready for tears, jeers, and still having a fear that Kenya’s gonna jump out of your television screen and perform a voodoo witch curse.

While Jen’s taking her polygraph test backstage, it’s relationship reminiscing time for John Sally and the girls. They talk about Chad and Evelyn’s relationship, with the main point of discussion being Chad’s desire to walk down the aisle. Then, it’s on to Royce’s relationship with Dezmond, and the inclusion of the most awkward breakdown scene EVER, when she sob/yells through all her daddy issues.

She still wants her dad to *sniff* tell her that she’s good enough, and in that note we get to see her acting skillz. Remember that play she kept practicing for? Well, we get to see her in action. Even Tami is “pleasantly surprised” by her performance. I make no judgment.

Since we’re going in somewhat chronological order, we now focus in on the Tahiti trip, particularly the Kesha and Tami debacle. The entire time, Tami remains calm like she’s on some high-quality tranquilizer, insisting that she merely wanted Kesha to stand up for herself. Kesha, who’s been looking P.O.-ed the entire time, says she didn’t want to get into a physical altercation.

When she starts to blame some of the behind-the-back news spreading on Suzie, Suzie promptly breaks out her stream of f**ks and Evelyn defends her. In the end, Kesha asks why they couldn’t have had a calm (between them, anyway) conversation all along. Tami admits that they should have, but also thinks Kesha should acknowledge her wrongdoing. When Kesha calls Tami a bully, Tami gets very defensive and the two squabble over semantics. Nobody changes their mind.

After the break, Jen returns from her lie detector test. Of course we have to recap the drama between Evelyn and Jen, with a minor detour into the drama between Kenya and Evelyn.

If you’ll recall, Evelyn threw a bottle at Kenya earlier in the season, which Kenya was still fuming about in Tahiti, and sat down to confront Evelyn. In the end, Evelyn apologized, which surprised Kenya. Big whoop. The real deal comes with Evelyn and Jen, who is still suing Nia. Shaunie interjects that, “You’ve proven your point [with Nia], boo. You’ve proven your point.” Jen sniffs that it’s a criminal situation now. For a moment, we delve back into the boring details of Shaunie’s family life and the giggles accompanying Tami and Evelyn’s breast cancer screening, but then the envelope with the lie detector results comes out.

Evelyn was asked if she thought Jen wrote the blog post in question, and if she thinks Jen’s lawsuit against Nia was premeditated. She answered yes to both of those questions, and the results came out as true. But when asked if she missed her friendship with Jennifer, she said no. Guess what? Totally lying! (But we could have told you that.) On Jen’s front, she was asked if she was jealous of Evelyn’s relationship with Chad. Jen claims she wasn’t but…that was a boldfaced lie! She does tell the truth when asked about missing Evelyn–and she totally misses her bestie. At this news, Shaunie says that life’s too short for their conflict to get to this point. Saint John Sally reaches for Evelyn’s hand, then reaches for Jennifer’s hand, then connects them together. They hug, both start tearing up, and it’s a mothereffin’ Hallmark moment. Even Shaunie and Tami get misty.

So with this dramatic–and yet, marvelously simple–friendship fix, the question arises: will Shaunie return for season five? She feels much better now that this reconciliation happened, but she’s still a bit unclear so John recaps all the good of this season. In a completely expected response, Shaunie says she believes there will be a season five. I guess that’s it, folks! Until next season…

When one Basketball Wife leaves, two more come in her stead. Kesha’s off the island, but now Jennifer Williams and crazy Kenya Bell are in Tahiti. Substituting crazy for more crazy!

Tami, Shaunie, and Evelyn go on a sunset cruise, where Tami says she’s going to try to talk to Kesha because she thinks they can have a mature conversation. Maybe a straitjacket would help too? Shaunie thinks that Kesha didn’t want to escalate the situation, though Evelyn doesn’t blame Tami for taking it the wrong way. But that stuff is about to be old news because they spot Jennifer on the patio of her bungalow. Awwwwkward. They sail on by, and it’s like running into an old lover for Evelyn. It brings up old memories, and so she wants to lay everything out on the table. Tami is licking her chops at the prospect of confrontation.

Jen eats salad with Suzie, because she’s the only one she’s still really on good terms with besides Kenya. Jen has “a lot of emotions” about being in Tahiti since it reminds her of her honeymoon in the Maldives. The two of them talk about how they are “grown women” and should be able to talk about their differences without any crazy, but they have this conversation as much as they have conflict. And look where we are now. But still, Jen doesn’t want to see Evelyn or talk to her at all because she doesn’t tolerate abuse–which is why she’s still going through with the stupid lawsuit against Nia, Evelyn’s assistant.

Suzie reports all this to The Clique (AKA Tami, Evelyn, and Shaunie), who all seem a bit irritated by the whole thing. Then they go on jet skis because this is actually, like, vacation. When the four of them go to get breakfast, they discuss how they haven’t run into Jen or Kenya at all. Shaunie thinks it’s just plain rude not to tell them they’re there. True dat. But they’re also curious about how Kenya’s dealing with the nasty fish sh!t they spread all over her room. Tami’s had enough, so she goes with Shaunie to try to get Kenya out of her hut. They smell the fish, but apparently Kenya doesn’t? That’s some witchcraft, right there.

They do convince her to leave her room, but Kenya is on a battle mission. She says, with the seriousness of a cyborg on a murderous mission, that Evelyn is a threat. “And I will handle her accordingly.” Empty eyes! This girl’s got empty eyes. A sign of the devil. Kenya says that she didn’t appreciate a bottle being thrown at her, though Evelyn says she’s sorry for doing that. It’s kind of a weird standstill. Kenya’s just staring at her with these intense eyes and shaking and the four of them have WTF looks in confusion. Evelyn says that Kenya needs to watch what she says, though Kenya keeps interjecting with, “IF it was said.” (B!tch, it was said.) She’s itching for a fight and wants revenge, which might be why her eyes STILL look crazy. Shaunie asks if Kenya is okay, and she says she just needs a minute. “I’m a little bit crazy,”Kenya says. Tell us something we don’t know.

Now that the Kenya issue has been resolved, the token crazy b!tch of the circle gets in on the gossip. They tell her about Kesha’s departure, and Tami explains how these vacations work. “Something’s definitely gonna get fixed,” she says, though that fixing often comes with new problems. To that end, Kenya goes to Jen’s bungalow to convince her to leave her hovel. To everyone’s surprise, it works! Jen remarks that it’s pretty outside. No sh!t, Sherlock. Tahiti is pretty when you actually go outside. But still, Kenya and Jen go to get food and don’t even stop and say hi to the rest of the girls as they walk by. At the restaurant, Kenya proposes that maaaaaybe Jen should have a meal with Evelyn. Jen doesn’t want to, and Kenya respects that, but soon enough Tami and Shaunie walk over and confront her.

As an excuse for not saying she was on the island, Jen claims she just arrived and was too busy and blah blah blah. She also balks at the idea of closure with Evelyn. But then Evelyn comes! She wants a discussion. Evelyn tells Jen as much, that she wants to clear the air, but Jen doesn’t want to hear it. Her and her bougie @ss get up and leave, which pisses off Evelyn. She follows. Naturally, Tami and Shaunie are in crisis-aversion mode and come along to make sure no blows are thrown. Jen goes into her bungalow, but not before Evelyn throws some few choice words at her. Once Jen goes inside her room again, Evelyn’s fuming. She wanted to lay everything out on the table and move on. Looks like it’s gonna be harder than she thought.