Tag Archives: Danielle Deleasa

Danielle Deleasa & Kevin Jonas: Trying To Get Pregnant

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Danielle Deleasa and Kevin Jonas have only been married for a couple of weeks, but they’re ready to make babies. Since Kevin vowed to stay a virgin until he was married, I’m sure he’s popping it off like it’s the 4th of July.

 

Danielle Deleasa tan

A close source says the newlyweds want to have three children and would like to have their first one this year. They’re not messing around! When you come from big families, more than likely you’re going to pop out more than one yourself.

“Danielle is one of three siblings, and Kevin comes from a big family, too, with three younger brothers. Kevin is inspired by his mom and dad – who married young and had kids early on.”

These Jonas Brothers are too plain Jane and innocent for me. Since they’re all waiting to tie the knot before getting their poke on, I think there’s a good chance one of those boys will end up whoring around like Tiger Woods. Once you pop, you can’t stop!

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Danielle Deleasa and Kevin Jonas Think Sex is ‘Not Worth The Wait!’

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The Jonas Virgin’s Kevin Jonas, 22, has abstained from sex until marriage. He got married to Danielle Deleasa last Saturday and he had a shocking confession for reporters while at a recent news conference in New York.

Kevin Jonas of the pop sensation the Jonas Brothers stunned his teenaged fans by announcing that “to be honest about it, sex was not worth the wait. After we did it, I was kind of like, that’s it?” When Kevin was asked if his wife Danielle Deleasa agreed with his “that’s it?” assessment, Mr. Jonas remarked, “That’s what she said.”

Kevin should not have taken it there. The safest sex is no sex and young people need role models like the Jonas Virgins. Sex is a big responsibility unless you wanna star on 16 and Pregnant with your loser boyfriend whose gonna leave you by next semester.

Kevin and his wife don’t have enough experience to know WTF they’re talking about. Furthermore, he may have had some American Pie type of jizz going down and he probably nuts as soon as he inserts! It gets better, Kevin and Danielle. But talking about it like that was so tacky. They’ve probably been really good this year, so hopefully Santa will stuff their stockings with sex toys and porn DVDs.

UPDATE: The quotes from Kevin Jonas are fake. Thanks Amy!

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Danielle Deleasa and Kevin Jonas: Honeymoon in Mexico Pics

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Danielle Deleasa has made a man out of Kevin Jonas and she’s texting her friends about how much he sucks in bed, figuratively.

Kevin and Danielle Deleasa were photographed poolside while on their honeymoon in Mexico; they just got hitched on Saturday.

I wonder how long this honeymoon is gonna be cause Christmas is right around the corner. Kevin already has the best Christmas present a horny Jonas Virgin could ever want: booty. Danielle, on the other hand, definitely has her work cut out for her.

Danielle Deleasa tan

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Danielle Deleasa and Kevin Jonas Are Married

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Danielle Deleasa, 23, has the golden ticket; now she just needs to get herself knocked up so she can hit the jackpot.

Some chick who resembles a horse meets Haylie Duff (who also resembles an animal that eats hay), Danielle Deleasa married Kevin Jonas, 22, in Long Island on Saturday. A horny Kevin claimed that "Danielle looked like a princess."

Danielle Deleasa tan

The Jonas Virgin and his new wifey said, "We're so happy that we're finally married and we were able to share the special moment with family, friends and loved ones."

Although there was a blizzard, 400 family members and friends attended the ceremony. It sounded gorgeous, too. There were white tents, complete with 14-foot trees draped in hydrangeas and crystals to make it look like icicles.

Kevin reportedly "couldn't stop smiling" that day. Gee, I wonder why? He probably was wearing a condom the entire time and that sh*t started to tickle.

Congrats to the happy couple.

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Danielle Deleasa and Kevin Jonas: Getting Married This Weekend!

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Jonas Virgin Kevin Jonas wants to have his cherry popped so badly, he flew in on a red eye flight after a concert to get down on bended knee and propose to Danielle Deleasa.

Kevin and Danielle met in 2007 while the Jonas Virgin was on vacay and Danielle didn't even know who the eff he was. He felt his checking account was protected and he got a boner over her. He's been smitten ever since.

Danielle Deleasa tan

The wedding rehearsal is set for Friday and will include a roller skating rink! The wedding takes place this Saturday at an exclusive estate on Long Island.

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Kevin Jonas Engaged to Danielle Deleasa

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The Jonas Virgins' Kevin Jonas is engaged to his girlfriend of over two years, Danielle Deleasa.

 

Kevin told People Magazine that he showed up at Danielle's house in New Jersey early yesterday morning and popped the question at her doorstep. Awwwww.

"She said yes, yes, yes like 500 times super fast in a row," says the oldest Jonas.Kevin designed Danielle's cushion cut ring with Jacob & Co.,

Kevin, 21, met Danielle, 22, in May 2007 while vacationing in the Bahamas. Danielle Deleasa, a former hairdresser with great taste in music, didn't even know who the Jonas Brothers were at the time! I like her already.

Kevin's the one who pursued Danielle. Although Kevin had the nerve to ask Danielle out, he was nervous about proposing. Kevin said, "It was tough performing last night, knowing that I was going to ask the biggest question in my life to the most amazing girl in the world."

"The most amazing girl in the world?" These are the things you say when you're 21 and stoopid and virginal. Sorry, I can't be all "congrats" cause I grew up in the church and I know what happens to people who get married to prevent themselves from engaging in premarital sex.

Kevin's parents are "filled with joy" and very happy about the news, as they should be. Kevin is the least attractive of The Jonas Virgins and his engagement won't hurt the group's success any.

Congrats?!

Danielle Deleasa photo

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