Tag Archives: Jionni LaValle

Snooki & JWoww Season 3 is Coming, MTV Renews Series!

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MTV is just as desperate as FOX producers are about American Idol. Who still cares about Snooki and JWoww? I can’t with this show. It’s scripted, IMO, and I can’t stand Snooki’s future ex-husband Jionni LaValle. MTV has given Snooks a third season of her show Snooki & JWoww. Isn’t this what she got knocked up for?

Snooki & JWoww cast

Polizzi and Farley will “continue sharing their stories of motherhood and engagement bliss over many a gossipy brunch,” said MTV in a statement.

“Better stay on your toes, tri-state area, because when these ladies get together, there’s no telling what’ll happen.”

Season 2 of Snooki & JWoww was about Nicole Polizzi giving birth and JWoww eventually getting engaged to her occasionally sh!tty boyfriend Roger Mathews, apparently. There’s no word on where season 3 will be filmed, much of season 2 was filmed in Jionni’s parents’ house, but you “Better stay on your toes, tri-state area” because a midget and a chick with too much plastic surgery are coming to recite their lines in a street or bar near you!

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Snooki & JWoww Season 2 Premieres Jan. 8

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Snooki has had a watermelon in her pinhole before, but now she'll be pushing Lorenzo Dominic LaValle out of it. Snooki gives birth to her baby with Jionni LaValle on season 2 of Snooki & JWoww.

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Jenni desperately wants a ring from Roger, who is holding out on her, and Jionni tells Snooki that he can't marry her if she doesn't change. Sweet!

What's noteworthy in the clip above is that Nicole Polizzi is seen drinking and smoking. Someone couldn't wait to pop that kid out!

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Jersey Shore Season 6 Premiere Ratings: Lowest Since 1st Season

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The season 6 premiere of Jersey Shore, which aired last Thursday, was all about Deena Cortese’s weight loss, Snooki and Jionni LaValle pretending that they’re aren’t doomed, and Mike Sorrentino staying away from alcohol.

 
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Chris Buckner, Deena’s boyfriend, also appeared and the entire episode was a snoozefest.
 
The first 30 minutes were spent showing the roommates driving to the Shore house where Lorenzo Dominic LaValle‘s mom decides that she needs to move out of the house. The boring premiere was the best editors could come up with. MTV may have pulled the plug a season too late.
 
Still, season 6 was the top rated show on cable television!
  • 4.69 million viewers tuned into the 10p.m.season 6 premiere, the show lost half a million viewers by the second hour.
  • 7.6 million tuned into the season 5 premiere
  • 8.78 million watched the season 4 premiere
  • 8.45 million tuned into season 3
  • 5.25 million checked out the season 2 premiere

Expect ratings to plummet as season 6 is guaranteed to suck.

 

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Lorenzo Dominic LaValle Wants Out

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Lorenzo Dominic LaValle has just found out that he has an alcoholic mother and a gorilla midget father as parents, so he's voicing his concerns the only way he knows how.


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Jionni LaValle and Snooki's baby really is adorable, and so tan already, but he has a lot to cry about, right? Here are the most recent pics of Lorenzo that Snooks posted on Twitter.

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Snooki and Jionni LaValle: Why They Won’t Make It

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Snooki and Jionni LaValle go together like Kim Kardashian and a white guy. Still, Nicole Polizzi was on a mission to have Jionni's cute little "guido babies" so she made sure she got pregnant with his spawn.

Jersey Shore's most famous couple faces an enormous power struggle. Snooki is a wealthy celebrity while Jionni lives with his parents.

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"Love of my lifeeeeee!"

To settle the score, when Snooki craves Jionni, he treats her like crap to make her feel like she's doing something wrong. When she reclaims her independence and sleeps with someone else, he makes amends with her because he knows he could lose her.

Snooks and her gorilla midget baby daddy have been getting along well on Snooki & Jionni, but that's only because Nicole has conformed to what Jionni wants. Snooki is becoming passive just to keep her fiance by her side. Snickers finds Jionni hot, but it takes more than physical attraction to keep two people together. Physical attraction, arguably, may be one of the least important factors to determine a couple's fate. Snooki spices up any party and remains an extrovert while Jionni is painfully shy and has no personality, yet she ignores their major differences. Snooki is trying to sell us her relationship, Tweeting:

Look at this sexy man. MY HUBBY

Omg @JLaValle your amazing!! I love my family

My fiancé @JLaValle is amazing!! #family

I love you! “@JLaValle: I'm blessed!! #Nicole&Lorenzo”

Movie time with Jionni! Love my man?

: I have the best son and fiancé in the world!! ”

I'm obsessed with my son. and ;)

Snooki is trying to convince herself that she's happy and this is going to work out in the long run. She can't forget how Jionni embarrassed her in Italy by leaving hours after he arrived. He's been verbally abusive, whiny and controlling. Someone should tell Nicole that Jionni's characteristics are much more important than how "sexy" he is, but you know she disowns whoever disagrees with her.

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Lorenzo Dominic Lavalle: Snooki’s Baby Photos Revealed!

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If you were too busy watching the Democratic National Convention last night, you may have missed the real news of the evening: Snooki cashed in on her baby in record time!

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No word on how big of a payday the Jersey Shore guidette received for her People cover shoot with lil Lorenzo, but since the issue is hitting stands less than a week after she gave birth, you can bet Snooks took the tyke right out of the doctor's hands and propped him up in a make-up chair, making some serious bucks in the process.

"It's a different kind of love that I never felt before," Snickers says of her bundle of joy. "When I got pregnant, everything changed. The partying is long gone. I'm a new person."

Aw, man. I'm always skeptical when people use phrases like "I'm a new person." If this girl is really trying to go from the Snooki we knew to sober super-mom every night, she's just setting herself up for the midlife crisis to end all midlife crises. Enjoy having your 45 year-old mom follow you to the club one day, Lorenzo!

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Snooki Loves Breastfeeding Lorenzo LaValle

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Before giving birth to Lorenzo Dominic LaValle, Nicole Polizzi said that breastfeeding "looks so painful." Surprisingly, Snooks quickly had a change of heart after bringing Jionni LaValle's spawn into the world.

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Snooki Tweeted: "I love nursing my little man!" and "Lorenzo is even cuter today. #imsolucky."

The end is near y'all! But did Snooki also push her baby out through her "pinhole" because she "doesn't want to f*ck up her vagina?" That's what we all wanna know.

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Snooki Gives Birth to Lorenzo Dominic LaValle

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Nicole Polizzi, it feels kind of weird calling her Snooki now that she’s a mother (hint: no it doesn’t), gave birth to Lorenzo Dominic LaValle this morning. Lorenzo entered the world at 6 lbs, 5 ounces.

Jionni-and-snooki-photograph

Snooki Tweeted:

“I am so in love with my son Lorenzo Dominic! I had my little man last night, healthy at 6lbs! He’s my world!”

“Being a mom is an amazing feeling! I love my little man to death! Jionni is such a cute dad.”

Snooki’s fiance Jionni LaValle said: “I’ll never forget old high school memories or the vacations I’ve been on with my boys, I will also never forget 8/26/12 the day my son was born!”

Here’s hoping Snooki’s delivery makes it into season 2 of Snooki & JWoww. Congrats to Snooki, Jionni and their friends and family!

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Snooki and Jionni LaValle Will Name Their Baby Lorenzo

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Snooki appeared on Good Morning America this morning where she revealed that she and her midget fiance Jionni LaValle have already picked out a baby name for her future "short and tan" son. Snooki would name a girl "Giada," but she's pregnant with a boy.

Snooki pregnant 2012Jionni LaValle and pregnant Snooki

"I think we're going to do 'Lorenzo. Because then you can call him 'Enzo."

At least Nicole is remaining true to her public persona of being an idiot. Nicole knows that saying that she wants to name her son a certain name "because then you can call him Enzo" is retarded, which is exactly why she said it!

She then explained why she isn't drinking.

"Pregnant people shouldn't be in a bar. All my friends are like, 'you can have a glass of wine.' I'm like, 'No.' I refuse because I'm going to be that person that has a glass of wine and [the] baby comes out with three legs."

Snooks says that she'll show her son her Jersey Shore footage and say "This is what mommy did. Learn from her mistakes." It doesn't matter if Snooki shows her kid Shore episodes or not, her drunken antics are the worst of her kid's problems. Try getting laid when you're a dude who doesn't grow past 5 feet tall.

Photos: Pacific Coast News

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Snooki Is Having a Boy!

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Looks like the world will soon be blessed with one more guido. Snooki has revealed to In Touch magazine that she and fiance Jionni LaValle are expecting a baby boy.

Snooki Expecting a Boy

“Everyone said I was going to have a boy and they were right,” said Snickers. “I thought it was going to be a girl. I was hoping it would be, because all girls want girls. It’s still my baby, no matter what. I’m excited either way!” Sounds like she’s a bit disappointed. Of course, anything that’s not an eight-pound bottle of tequila would probably be a let-down for ol’ Snooks.

So what does the former reality starlet plan to name her bundle joy? Either Jionni Jr. or Lorenzo, she revealed to the tabloid. Jionni Polizzi-Lavalle, Jr? Jeez, how will anyone know the kid’s Italian!?

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