Tag Archives: Nicole Kidman

Michelle Rodriguez: “You Have To Be Trashy And Black” To Win An Oscar

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Lost actress Michelle Rodriguez has a long history of being a moron, but her latest f-up may be her best yet. Asked about a Nicole Kidman film that premiered at Cannes, Michelle said she enjoyed Nicole’s performance, but she wouldn’t be nominated for an Oscar because she isn’t “trashy and black.” Yup, that’s a real quote.

Michelle Rodriguez Smoking

You might think the context of the quote might help Michelle look slightly less retarded, but you would be wrong. “One of my friends said, ‘She’s going to get nominated for an Oscar for that,’” said Michelle of Nicole’s performance. “I was like, ‘Nah, man. She’s not black!’ I laugh, but it’s also very sad. It makes me want to cry. But I really believe. You have to be trashy and black to get nominated.“

For the record: Nicole Kidman already has been nominated for best actress three freakin’ times, winning the prize once. That means she’s won the Oscar for best actress exactly as many times as every other black actress in history combined! You see my point – Michelle Rodriguez is an idiot. Let’s chalk this one up to the fact that she’s a raging alcoholic.

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Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban Had a Baby Girl!

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I was surprised by this, because I just saw Nicole Kidman at the Golden Globes, and she sure didn’t look pregnant. It turns out, that because Nicole is older than moving pictures, she and husband and Billy Ray Cyrus look-a-like contest winner, Keith Urban, used a surrogate. I don’t know much about science, but I think that means Nicole got to watch while Keith banged a groupie.

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban

Anyway, the happy couple welcomed daughter Faith Margaret Keith Urban on December 28, but for some reason they just announced the birth yesterday. My only guess for the delay is that they wanted to get the kid back to Australia before Tom Cruise and his Scientologist crazies kidnapped it and sacrificed it to Lord Xenu, or whatever they do. Little Margaret will have several older siblings, including Nicole’s daughter with Keith, and the two children that she adopted with Tom Cruise, because, ya know…Tom Cruise is gay.

Anyway, congrats to Nicole and Keith! I don’t usually get to say this about celebri-kids, but here’s hoping mama finds a job and daddy stays sober!

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Nicole Kidman’s Makeup Artist Hates Her

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Nicole Kidman is making headlines for looking like she uses Lindsay Lohan‘s cocaine to cover the circles under her eyes and dab her nose.

Nicole Kidman powder face

While at the “Nine” movie premiere last night, photographers snapped pictures of the Oscar-winning actress with white powder all over her face.

This is why Hollywood is an ugly place to be. Nicole walked all the way to the red carpet without someone telling her that her face needed to be wiped off?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! B*tches be jealous. F*ck ‘em, Nicole, you’re still hot.

Nicole Kidman powdered face pictureNicole Kidman Nine premiere, looking horribleNicole Kidman Nine movie premiere picture

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Nicole Kidman Explored Sex Fetishes

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Never in my life did I think I would read about Nicole Kidman trying out sex fetishes or “exploring obsession,” cause I always viewed her as a wet blanket. Although she doesn’t elaborate, she’s probably just talking about massaging Tom Cruise’s ball sack while giving him head.

Nicole Kidman GQ Magazine Cover

Another thing that shocks me is this cover shot for GQ magazine, cause she looks like she actually weighs more than 90 pounds! She’s still sporting the Frankenstein forehead, though, so I won’t be popping a boner over her any time soon. Enough about her looks, Nicole did an interview with the mag and talked about exploring love in more than one way.

“I’ve explored obsession. I’ve explored loss and love in terms of being in a grief-stricken place, I’ve explored strange sexual fetish stuff, I’ve explored the mundane aspect of marriage, and monogamy.”

I’m dying to know who she did all this exploration with. Let loose, Nicole, and tell us about your strap-on pink dildo you used to use on Tom before you guys made your visits to the Scientology center.

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Nicole Kidman’s Baby Bump Is Growin!

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Nicole Kidman showed off her baby bump in yesterday while in NYC as the prego Goodwill Ambassador went to the UN to discuss violence against women. She’s really forcing that bump out there! I feel like I’m being raped into looking at at. Honey you’ll balloon up your last 2 months, don’t you worry. ;)


Nicole Kidman at the Globes

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The Bump Is Starting To Form

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Nicole Kidman Nine premiere, looking horrible

Nicole Kidman was in Tokyo for a news conference promoting her new film The Golden Compass, showing off the tiniest little baby bump. Hell, she’s even trying to accentuate it and you can hardly see it. Nicole will be one of those prego chicks that only gain like 10 pounds and hardly even get a belly. Damn her!

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