Update On Eminem’s Fat Ass

“He’s got a double chin, a pot-belly and droopy man-breasts. And he’s living a reclusive lifestyle in an attempt to hide his new body,” says the insider.

Eminem’s maternal grandmother Better Kresin blames his ongoing food binge on being stressed out about his two failed marriages to ex-wife Kim.

“He really wanted it to work between them, to have a happy family life for their daughter Hailie Jade, something he claims he never had while growing up.”

Eminem’s weight problem is a result of too many trips to Detroit’s Outback Steakhouses and Taco Bells says the insider. “Marshall has Taco Bell lunches of burritos and tacos with dessert, then Outback dinners of three filet mignons with all the fixings.”

I found this blurb from the National Enquirer to be so friggin’ hilarious. As if suffering from pneumonia and heart problems wasn’t enough, Em has to hear about his man boobs flapping in the wind and his scary pot belly and double chin.

He was sick! Tabs are so heartless. I wouldn’t mind some hot new music from Marshall. It’s time for a comeback.

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