The episode begins with a pale 80 year-old looking white guy telling Sheree Whitfield that he wants to have a baby with her. Sheree then says she’d like to have children too. Then they both start laughing – they were simply reciting lines from a script. Whew! Sheree then does her testimonial interview and says that she could see herself winning an Oscar one day. Bravo to Bravo for scripting her with this LOL worthy line.
NeNe Leakes brings a copy of Life & Style magazine to Sheree’s house. The issue has a headline with a quote from Kim Zolciak, who is declaring her bisexuality for publicity. A shocked Sheree says, “Well she’s never hit on me!” Which must mean that she’s straight. That’s how I figure out if a guy’s straight or not myself. If he doesn’t make an attempt to hit this, I know HE MUST BE queer fo sho!
Wiggy Kimmy gives her testimonial interview and says “I’ve been chasing dick since I came out the womb.” That was supposed to be a zinger. I want in on these script writing sessions. Kidding, that was actually a decent line.
Kim tells NeNe that Dwight told her he had borrowed $10k from NeNe’s husband Gregg. NeNe says, “If Dwight had $10,000 he would’ve got his nose fixed cause who wouldn’t wanna breathe?” LOL! NeNe says that Dwight’s nostrils are almost completely shut because of bad plastic surgery. This is ironic cause NeNe’s surgeon has fugged up her nose as well.
Which brings me to one of the most disturbing aspects of this season – NeNe has one nose on the show and another nose when she gives her testimonial interviews! Viewers get to compare and contrast throughout the episode and she looks more like an alien post-surgery. Is she eligible for a refund?
We also meet Willis McGahee, the man Kandi Burruss is dating. Kandi, (who can go boom boom on the floor now when she walks cause she has gained what looks like 15 or so pounds), tells Willis that she doesn’t want to have sex with him and he asks if oral sex is eliminated, Kandi says no. I already don’t like this dude cause no NFL star is gonna be all like ‘You don’t wanna have sex? That’s cool.’ They want sex from their girlfriends and their groupies. I think he’s shady and just wants to be on TV, although I will admit, he is hot.
Phaedra Parks then makes her big premiere, claiming that “Southern women have a gracefulness most other women don’t have.” She also says that her ex-convict husband Apollo Nida “signed a prenup so I know he doesn’t want my money, he wants me.” Sounds like something Fantasia would say about her T-Mobile married boyfriend.
Since Apollo has a criminal record, more than likely he doesn’t have a good job and doesn’t bring much money in unless he’s an entrepreneur, cause there’s no better cock blocker when it comes to getting hired than having to check the “Have you been arrested?” box on the application. Phaedra also said, “I’m fabulous, I’m fierce and I’m beautiful.” …Hmmm. I won’t co-sign on the beauty she possesses that I just don’t see, but I think everyone should think that they’re beautiful, so I’ll let it slide. At least once.
NeNe invited Wiggy Kimmy to a high end shoe event and NeNe confronts her husband in their kitchen about asking Dwight for money. Her hubby laughs and denies it and tells her Dwight asked for $500, not $10k. On her ride to the event with Wiggy Kimmy, NeNe takes out a single check from her tiny clutch and writes it out to Dwight for $500 cause every woman keeps a single check in her purse and the perfect time to write it out is in a moving vehicle with cameras up your nostrils.
NeNe greets Phaedra with a warm hug then says “I see Plain Jane, I don’t see fabulosity.” NeNe gets in Dwight’s face at the party, begins yelling, and ruins yet another event, yet she claimed that Kandi was ghetto.
Next week we meet new housewife Cynthia Bailey whose forehead alone captivates me cause it is so damn big.