Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Kim Zolciak Celebrates Her 33rd Birthday

Nene Leakes invited Kandi Burruss and Cynthia Bailey to Miami. Nene says that she's gotta "get outta Haterville." Nene waves to the camera, saying, "Goodbye haters!" Why is it that she doesn't understand why she has haters?! Kandi and Cynthia are now in Atlanta, and the staff greets the ladies with some drinks outside of the lobby. Once the Housewives get to their hotel room, they're joking and laughing nonstop.

Nene Leakes, Kandi Burruss, Cynthia Bailey

Kim Zolciak is at home upstairs while Kroy Biermann plans her birthday party downstairs. Kroy is kind of cute, but he has the personality of Kim Kardashian, which means he doesn't have one.

Phaedra Parks is still looking into opening her own funeral home.

At lunch, Kandi questions Nene and asks her if she told Sheree Whitfield that she's rich. Nene owns up to it, claiming that she is rich and "I sure did [tell Sheree I'm rich] and I am [rich]. It's a fact!" Nene says that Kim has influenced Sheree and turned Sheree against her. Kandi says that Nene has "this angry black woman side!"

When Nene is approached by a lesbian couple who tells her that it's lesbian pride week, Nene then puts herself on GLAAD's sh!tlist by saying: "I'm always confused about the lesbian girls. Some of 'em look very masculine and I be like 'Really? The girl is so rough and so masculine, why didn't you just go with a guy?!'"

Nene Leakes lesbian comments

Nene wants to check out a house in Miami because "these bitches are driving me crazy," Nene claims. Does Nene hold herself responsible for anything? She looks at a $9,000,000 house. Kandi is skeptical. She's not the only one!

The girls head to the beach and Nene says that Kandi's thighs "are HUGE!" Ouch. Naturally, while laying out at the beach, the women talk about sex.

Kandi says, "I need somebody that's gonna kiss both of my lips good. If you not gon do that, then you're wasting both of our time." Nene says that she's been with men who "weren't good kissers, but were good eaters." Kandi basically said the same thing as Nene, but Kandi's comments weren't crude because Kandi has tact.

Back in Atlanta, it seems that Nene wasn't being paranoid. Sheree and Kim meet up to talk sh!t about Nene. Sheree says that "Nene really needs to humble herself, cause as fast as you come up, you can come down. Just like on the stripper pole!" Remember Nene was a stripper?! That was a good one.

 

 

Phaedra talks to her husband about her funeral home business and he wants no part of it.

Pregnant Kim is at home sounding traumatized by the "different" birthday that she'll be having. "NO drinking!" Such a nightmare! Wiggy Kimmy also claims that she's "book smart, and I lack in the common sense arena." Well, Wiggy Kimmy does also says that she's only 33 years old…What's her definition of book smart?

Kroy and Kim are having lunch together and Kroy is laughing uncontrollably like the true dumba*s that he is. He then gifts her with a "chocolate diamond" bracelet that cost $22,000.

Kim and Kroy get back to her house and she's surprised by the surprise birthday party that Kroy and her assistant put together. Kandi clowns Nene at Kim's party, laughing hysterically about how "rich" Nene supposedly is, Kim knocks Nene's bad teeth, and I'm not so convinced anyone would tune into the Housewives shows without the b!tchy cattiness. Kim's birthday "party" feels very 'Made for TV,' everyone leaves her house and the episode ends. Next week, Phaedra and Cynthia's husbands fight during Kim's baby shower.

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