How Eva Longoria Caught Tony Parker Cheating

Most of the time when famous dudes get caught cheating, it’s a result of sheer dumb-@ssery. They text dick pics to girls who clearly aren’t interested in seeing their wangs, a la Brett Favre, or they exchange racy messages with every skank in a 1,000 mile radius like Tiger Woods. Years of having gotten away with murder because they know how to put a ball in a hole go to their heads so they do whatever they damn well please without a single thought about the consequences.

That’s not the case with Tony Parker. Frenchy went to great lengths to conceal his affair with Erin Barry from his wife, Eva Longoria. Unfortunately for T-Parks, he was married to a 3 foot Latina leprechaun with magical ways of finding out where he’s putting his magic Johnson (Get it? Because he plays basketball!).

Desperate Housewives cast

“Tony had Erin’s personal information saved in an electronic program that only he could access,” a source close to the couple says. “But one day he forgot to close the program and that’s when Eva found it. It was a double shot for her because not only did she find all the information, but Eva also realized immediately that Tony had taken steps to hide it from her.” That is a harsh way to find out, but I don’t think the fact that he tried to hide it makes matters worse. It’s not like a full-page ad in Variety with a picture of Erin and a caption that says, “I’m f*cking this chick. Love, Tony” would have been any easier.

The source also details how Eva took her “revenge” on Tony by filing for divorce unexpectedly and going public with news of the racy texts, something he didn’t think she would reveal. Umm…that’s her revenge? A real Latin chick would’ve slashed his balls so he had nothing to dribble with. Sigh. Look, basketball puns are hard, OK?