Jessica Simpson: $2 Million Dollar Birth Planned?

Earlier today, we called Blue Ivy Carter the most ballin' baby on the planet, but it looks like the unborn offspring of Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson (the unfortunately named, Maxi Johnson) may be poised to take that title.

Jessica Simpson: Pregnant In The Rain

In Touch reports that Jessica is planning to spend upwards of $2 million on the delivery of her baby. Yes, that's $2 million on just the delivery. So how exactly does one spend that kind of cash on something that costs most folks a couple grand? By being a paranoid lunatic!

Not only is Jessica planning on renting out an entire wing of the hospital Beyonce-style, she's also rumored to be hiring 30 armed guards to protect the kid at a cost of over a million dollars. “She’s terrified of kidnapping,” says one source. “Her head of security just held a pre-birth meeting for her family to brief them on the rules!” So, the kid's named Maxi, her dad's unemployed and her mom's certifiably insane. She's off to a great start and she's not even born yet.

(Photo: Pacific Coast News)