John Mayer has written a fairly lengthy blog post titled “Huffington Post FULL OF SHIT (Yes!)” John is upset because The Huffington Post featured a story that claims he and Jennifer Aniston are dating again.
I didn’t post the story here because it’s a given that it’s rubbish for the simplest of reasons: Man whores don’t return to their exes, and Jennifer Aniston is single but she’s not a masochist.
We’ve posted the final paragraphs of John’s rant after the jump. He never fails to be clever. I’ll give his racist, male slut ass credit where it’s due: He’s effortlessly talented with words, he can play the guitar like a maniac in concert, and he’s hilarious.
The reason I’m calling you out instead of all the other magazines that make stories up out of thin air is that In Touch and Star Magazine aren’t concurrently writing pieces about Pat Tillman or WikiLeaks. Those other rags know who they are, and even if they’re obnoxious, I’d rather have to live with them because they (and the rest of the world) know where they stand, which doesn’t make them one tenth as dangerous as you are. You’re a stripper wearing reading glasses. Or maybe you’re an insolvent law student willing to dance for a few extra dollars. Either way, it’s uncomfortable to watch you try to wrap yourself around a pole when you have that C-Span scar.
I’m not a politician. I have no celebrity endorsements. So it is with a clear conscience that I’m able to title your piece on this post, should you decide to try make a few more bucks for whatever body wash or slasher flick you’re hocking today.